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Golden Rules for every woman

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Shanthi, Mar 31, 2007.

  1. Aman

    Aman New IL'ite

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    Hi Shanthi,
    Good on u,great thinking,helped alot.
    Regards
    Aman
     
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  2. ruchvarsh

    ruchvarsh New IL'ite

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    hey very very well said honestly these are golden rules some i will follow.
    bye
     
  3. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Shanthi,
    bravo, girl! This is the conclusion I came to after 20 years of marriage. Now I just enjoy myself when he is not there, do whatever pleases me. I have also learnt to feign a lot of trouble when there is little and retreat to the bed, he manages to an extent. Also, I just mention about the work to be done and disappear into the kitchen or toilet, then he has no other go but to do that.
    The golden rule you have given is- we have to make ourselves happy, no body is going to do that. That is 100% right.
    Keep coming with more!
     
  4. InduSarav

    InduSarav New IL'ite

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    Dear Shanthi......


    Energtic lines.........
    I strongly agree your sayings......

    Keep posting your lines.....


    Take Care
    InduSarav:wave
     
  5. cheer

    cheer Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Shanthi,

    I started to reading ur article when u had started but then got busy & then totally forget. But today got time to go thru it. Nice article, good post. However i would like to add some points & Lavanya great points indeed. thank u ladies for sharing with us, some of the points i like to add is-

    1) What i learnt be honest & if ure in relation, it's good to be care about each other, if he doesn't don't worry but at least u should care abt him, show ur love honestly, otherwise there is no way to stay together.

    2) I don't agree that we should be self-centered & don't bother abt house (including cleaning etc), ure not doing this for his sake, ure doing this for U. The place ure living is matters ure thinking too. U can make Home a heaven or hell. It's all upto U.
     
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  6. Dewdrop

    Dewdrop Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Shanthi,

    A very well-written piece, :clap spoken out of true experience. Just couldn't resist pitching in with my two cents.

    1] A marriage is two people with totally different wavelengths trying to make music together. If the pitch & frequency is not complementary, no harmonious melody can be heard ; only static will occur. In most situations, a woman's store of infinite patience, self-belief and seeing things in the broader context of family rather than me/mine, will certainly help, in creating a symphony.

    2] Never use any negative words / actions while trying to get your point across to your husband, as men in general do not like to be told/proved that they are wrong. [ esp. in situations involving 'their' parents, siblings , we the wives will still be considered as the one who came from outside ] . If you want your opinion/views to matter at all, just sugar-coat your advise instead of bluntly telling the bitter reality.

    3] On a lighter note :--- After any heated argument or quarrel, never will the husband apologise for his harsh words. Earlier years, I've spent the entire night crying & feeling miserable :cry: in the hall, while he will blissfully snore away... The next day or two, I will walk around with a long face & utter only the bare min. words, yet he will have no clue & wouldn't bother at all ! Then, when my silence increases he'll ask , "What happened, any problem?" and this would infuriate me further :evil:.

    For men, words / quarrels are 'silly' , while we women remember who said what to whom & where -- we expect acknowledgement of and the ointment for our hurt feelings, while men take ages to have 'feelings'. It is all like water on a lotus leaf for the men, but for us women , our feelings and emotions are the fuel for life ! Getting a balanced state of mind in this circus, is the most precious and wise act, which all married women are daily trying to achieve.
    That's why in most of marriage photos, see after some years, the wife has generally lost her rosy, bright face & looks more tired, older, dull whereas the hubby looks more or less the same , if not better :rolleyes: -- as all the tension, caring, keeping the family together is done by his wife.

    Best wishes to all you fantastic ladies out there !
    Lovingly,
    Dew.
     
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  7. Jey

    Jey Administrator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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  8. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Cheer,
    some people never take time off for themselves, they just go on slogging day in and out, doing the chores without any help of kind words from their spouses. Such people have to relax and enjoy themselves, this is very essential to keep a cheerful mind and carry on.
    My elder sister is a working woman who travels around 80 kms up and down daily. She is in her 50s and childless. She is having menopause problem and her health is suffering. Bil is not working now, just staying at home. But he expects her to do all the house chores, there is no maid and he also won't help. She leaves by 6 in the morning and comes back by 8. After cooking dinner, she sweepa and mops her huge house with ornamental staircase. There are 4 toilets, 5 wash basins in the house where only 2 people live, she has to clean all that everyday. He would just command about how she should do all these.
    On weekends, she goes on cleaning the whole house inch by inch and also cooks and does the shopping. She also have to make arrangements to pay all the bills n due time. He will go shopping for his personal items and go for walks etc. But she does not even get a day off.
    The end result is-she is always in a bad mood and shouts at the slightest provocation at others. She does not tell him that she can't do all these. He feigns that he is not well for work alone. But he is always munching at fried eatables- home made or shop bought. All this and he does not have any income also. My sis is the only earning member.
    Do you think one should just spend one's life cleaning and doing the household chores only? When do you suppose one will get time for one self? In these days, we have to grab our needs, no one will give it to us on a platter.
    And sadly, this is the scene in many houses here.
     
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  9. aishu22

    aishu22 Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Shanthi,
    Good Write -up! Keep Posting
     
  10. Shanthi

    Shanthi Silver IL'ite

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    Hi ILites,
    Thank you so much for all of your responses. I am glad that people are reading it. Accepting it is a different matter. But I am sure at least one of those points would have helped someone in some way. That makes me very happy and satisfied. I am very encouraged by everyone's point of view. Will keep posting and reading !!!

    :2thumbsup:
     

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