Going to parents home

If your husband is scared of telling them you can urself tell them !! As it is they will have long faces, so might as well tell them and go !! However telling them and not telling them, how does it matter!! If they get angry at you for visiting them, would you stop visiting your parents?? You wont right !! You are not doing anything wrong so no need to hide !!

 

Try reasoning out with your husband that you can't be a part of these lies anymore and it takes away the fun & peace of mind you get while visiting your parents. So you won't like to hide it from now on..

 

1) If you have courage to tell it to your PILs and u do not mind their drama and taunting after wards...
1st tell ur DH sweetly that it is not good to hide from parents that way...they are after all ur parents.
2nd then tell it to your PILs infront of all, nicely and respectfully and add if she wants anything from that area

2) If you are bit afraid to, still tell ur hubby it is not nice to hide and then plan in advanced when u r going but take an advanatge when ur co-sis declares her visit...say o nice i m glad our timining are not clashing, mom i m planning to go on so n so date , if she does not scold co-sis and she wld not scold u then

I am just wondering why does she have dual stds though

 

Hmm.. Would I upset or fight with my husband so that my rep with inlaws improves?
Let me think .... HELL NO.!!

Childish or or immature or crazy. He is more mine than my inlaws. If this is what makes him happy, I would support him. Who cares what his parents think? Do I understand everything that he does? No. Does it matter that I don't understand it? No again.

He is your husband not your son. So what if he is not perfect? So what if he is not bold? He cares about your needs and gets you what you want. Give him an extra hug and thank him.

Talking directly to his parents and showing him your disapproval is insulting, ungrateful and very unsupportive.

I am not saying that you need to support your husband no matter what, all I am saying is that you should be less black and white and not make an issue out of something so small.
His parents, his choice. You are the DIL - you are bad anyway.

 

One more thing...while your at it, tell them that hubby has to work out of station and you want to go to your parent's place and go on a secret romantic trip.

 

Tell ur husband,that they will find out one day as someone or the other will see u and report, so its risky to do it this way. Say when this happens , u will not face the music and tell them that it was ur idea to do so. If he is willing for this, continue to do it his way without worrying too much about telling the whole social circle to keep it secret. You move around as u want at ur mothers place no need to hide then.what do u think?

 

I wud suggest you tell your husband very clearly that you cannot just isolate yourself from your parents who were there in your life years and years before he came. Set your priorities straight and I hope everything will be alright..

 

There should be a valid reason for him to hide things from his parents. Specially when your in laws are okay with your Co-sis's visit to her parents, I guess something serious should be there for them to dislike your interaction with your parents.

Obviously your H knows that, but he still supports your idea of going ahead. Respect that.

He probably knows his parents, their resentments and their nature. So, let him handle them. At the end of the day, you need your H the most.

If I were you, I would just follow my H till I go to my parents' home. But I would definitely ask him the reason for his behavior when I am back or whenever it is possible. Because, I am the subject matter here. I wouldn't like others play a game on my name without my knowledge.

 

1)It could be that your bil told them to shut up when they did the same to your co sister while your husband chooses to hide this, instead of telling them straight on that they do not get to have a say in when and how many times you visit your parents.The in laws draw their boundary where their son allows them to .

2) It is possible that co-sister also had to deal with this and she did her battle and now they leave her to do her own thing while they try to control you because they feel they will have better luck with you or feel you are more malleable to there expectations.