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Going crazy with the my teenage son having Dyslexia and ADD

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by helplessmom, Nov 23, 2013.

  1. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    OP,
    It is always a matter of knocking on doors...even if you find answers to your nephew's needs there is no guarantee that the same techniques (or professional) will work for another kid. There are general guidelines yes, but everything has to be adapted to your individual needs. It is frustrating but you will get there.
    Mani, that was such an honest post.

    OP, staying on the outside and trying to help someone is always tricky. We tend to be protective of 'our' folks and it is frustrating, even maddening when we see the partner not pick up on obvious clues. I just wanted to give you a heads up-not implying you do this. The best way to show someone you take their side is to do what you are doing-do the legwork, listen endlessly and apologize every now and thenJ. If your sister says something about what her husband does/says, do listen. Offer suggestions which sort out the issue. In the absence of abuse and intentional denigration, be careful of opinions you offer. Their relationship is probably being tested in many ways and how we say things can cause a lot more turmoil. It really affects children though-they feel guilty for not being able to live up to their parents' expectations and for causing rifts between the adults who mean the most to them. Again, I don't say that you do this. Just be aware of the unintended consequences of what you say...as you so rightly pointed out in one of your earlier posts, it is like walking on egg shells.

    I have noticed that amongst the parents I meet, many dads need more time to understand that their children aren't behaving so on purpose. Perhaps it is because the kid has no visible manifestation except for certain behaviors. My cousin's wife asked me to talk to him after a parent teacher conference for their oldest. My cousin kept insisting it was 'finding fault with the kid unnecessarily ' and 'why can't the teacher teach this organizing skill? Maybe she isn't doing her part correctly!" It took me a long time to convince him that all 3 key adults-teacher, mom and dad had to reinforce the skills as much as possible; that teaching a skill in one context and expecting the child to remember and transfer it to other situations will not do. I continue to give him this 'gyan' every now and then. Some people don't get that intervention at the right stage is actually for their child's benefit. Like the kid in question, they too need to see the benefits to believe in it.

    Laks, no worries. I considered linking it to the other thread as well...then thought, "oh am I brandishing my thread?" see you there:)
     
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  2. deraj

    deraj Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Mom (You are not helpless mom, you can help your sister)

    Sorry to read your post. Everything will be alright soon.

    Ask you sister to consult Dr. Jayanthini, who lives in Nandanam, Chennai. She is a 60+ year old lady and recently got to know about her through one of my colleague.

    Appointment Time between 10.00 AM and 5.00 PM
    ( except Sunday )


    For appointments contact Mr. Mahesh
    Dr.Jayanthini M.D., D.P.M.

    No.15, 13th Street, Nandanam Extension,
    Behind Venkateswara Hospital,
    Nandanam, Chennai -
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2013
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  3. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    there is a difference of opinion among some that jayanthini prescribes too many meds..heard it from somebody i know..not sure..
     
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  4. helplessmom

    helplessmom New IL'ite

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    Thanks for your response soulful. It's really complicated, if you leave him free , he takes advantage and watch TV endlessly and throwing tantrums because of boredom,picking on his sister etc. If you push him do something the consequences are bad too.

    After I post the problem here, my mind is getting cleared by teacher, shanvy and all of yours feedbacks.


    Hi Laks - very true I should change my name. let me do it soon.

    Thanks for sharing your personal exp laks and after reading that I think my sister's (sometimes unfair ) outbursts has a meaning in it. I'm goingto explain this to my mom and other sister (bec my sis's relationship with them is sour too), so that next time when they talk to her they will understand her better.You did a huge favour to all of us.


    Mani- thanks for your very nice post. Regarding my Bil, he can't understand the whole picture...But the good thing is since I'm not the active participant in her problems, she is slowly leaning on to her husband, I guess he is slowly acceping the fact and listening to her now atleast. But i don't want to go completely away from the situation but want to give intellectual support rather than the emotional one.

    His social mingling is ok especially if it is not involving the studies. My relatives liked him they way he worked in cousin's marraige. Every one was praising him. Because in that situation no one was judging him.


    teacher... your post means a lot to me and I'm seeing things in different perpective.I am also getting 'gyan' from you. Some of your points were really jolting me. I'm trying to read your "mental awareness" thread whenever I find time. I wish my sister could read all of them soon.

    Regarding the ANANYA school, the feedback we got from EX student's uncle was not favourable. But I'm stopping there, I told my younger sister to call the school directly to get more information. When I read your para, i was reassured that I'm in right path.


    Thanks for your reply and info deraj. I "ll think over it and pass it on to my sister. But my sister will be discouraged if she prescribes more medicine as shanvy said.


    Thanks Shanvy for the info even though you are not sure. because my sister does not like it either. But I don't want to close that door. We will keep it for in case situations.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 5, 2013
  5. Sai01

    Sai01 New IL'ite

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    I created username sai01. Hereafterwards, I will use sai01 instead of helplessmom. Thanks for the suggestion friends.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2013
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  6. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi

    I haven't read through all responses in detail, but I saw that someone had mentioned MDA - Ananya. I want to vouch for this school as I have seen what they do first hand.

    My mom attended courses at the MDA and was assigned a few small children with mild-moerate dyslexia. She says she can actually see the kids thriving with the methods at this school.
     
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  7. teacher

    teacher Platinum IL'ite

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    As we speak...
    I've copied the mail...hopefully it isn't against forum rules...

    Madras Dyslexia Association (MDA) is organizing a conference Samyukth 2013, to empower teachers to understand and support the dyslexic child in the mainstream curriculum. In today’s educational scenario keeping abreast of the latest trends in education is a priority. The details are as follows.

    [TABLE="class: ecxyiv6260150939news-event"]
    [TR]
    [TD]Dates:[/TD]
    [TD]7 & 8 December 2013[/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD]Venue:[/TD]
    [TD]IC & SR auditorium, IIT Madras, Adyar, Chennai[/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD]Registration Fee:[/TD]
    [TD]Rs 1500/- per person for 2 days inclusive of lunch and kit with handouts[/TD]
    [/TR]
    [TR]
    [TD]Payment by:[/TD]
    [TD] Cash/ Demand Draft favoring "Madras Dyslexia Association" payable at Chennai / Direct bank transfer - details will be available on request.[/TD]
    [/TR]
    [/TABLE]


    • The conference is planned to give insights into the varied perspectives of the child with dyslexia.
    • The speakers have vast experience in the Indian context and will share practical tips in handling dyslexic children.
    • The delegate fee has been kept nominal so that more people can benefit from the conference.
    • The programme has been specifically planned over the weekend so that it does not affect the school schedule.


    Please see the attached ZIP file which contains the brochure and registration form.
    The details and registration form are also available in MDA's website
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 5, 2013
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  8. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Sai01,
    Thank you for considering my suggestion for a name change. I'm happy to call you Sai.
    It's tough to do what you are doing too. Make sure you tell you nephew over and over again as to how proud you are of him. He probably is bogged down because he cannot perform as expected. No matter what he does in terms of other things like helping out at weddings etc, compliment him. Give him a lot of positive reinforcement. Do the same with your sister. She also wants to hear that she doing everything in her power to help her son. Tell her often how proud you are of what she does with the boy. I've been hearing from my friends as to how proud they are of how I'm handling my sons diagnosis and therapy without questioning the diagnosis. When I hear such things, it gives me immense courage. I often second guess myself and wonder if I'm doing the right thing. It helps when I'm told I'm doing well.

    L
     
  9. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Teacher... I came here to exactly tell her about this conference happening over the weekend. Thank you!

    Sai, my mom will be attending the conference. I will be happy to get your sister in touch with my mom if she needs to speak to someone at Ananya.
     
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  10. Sai01

    Sai01 New IL'ite

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    Thanks for the input peartree. Hope I will post 10 replies soon to get a Pm from you about your mom's info. I am eager to talk to your mom. I think my son comes under milder one.

    Correction on My post on 5th Dec -missing the word not.
    Regarding the ANANYA school, the feedback we got from EX student's uncle was not favourable. But I am not stopping there, I told my younger sister to call the school directly to get more information. When I read your para, i was reassured that I'm in right path.

    Regarding Ananya- I'm waiting to get a reply from sister. So I got stuck in that point.
     

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