Going Crazy In My Life..

Sangeeta85 · Apr 24, 2017

I m having big arguments with husband everyday bcz of his mom.as before told in mil problem,she is gone and I still have unhappy me my house.. mil keeps taunting me all the time bcz I can't give her back I take out anger all on husband I told the him how will u feel wen someone keeps taunting u he says wat can I do if they I can't control their mouth but it's ur parents not mine I said..today he told me y u married if u can't handle family so I said I did not know marrying means this it is n I find ppl like ur parents.. y ur mom n dad keeps telling something hurtful..
I got more pissed as inlaws thought my son not to give me any presents till he grow older bcz my son broke my lipstick I made him understand he needs to bring new one.he did say yes n asked every time wen shall I ..wen I asked him he changed his mind n told me no grandma said no .. another thing they told him that his uncle earns more money then his dad n she has more property on her name .. my son just said in front of us n my husband was quite did not say a thing on top just laughed as my son asked him do uncle earn more dad..my son is 6 y should he know all this..
today I had a huge fight I feel like I don't want to stay here.. at mom place all guest have come can't call her n say,...today he said to go to my mom place after few days I said ok but will take my son with me n I don't want any relationship with ur family ever again.. this is not bcz of those 2 reasons or not our 1st fight on topic of his parents he is tired so m I.
There r so many things to tell husband does not help me in any household work ,I do all after many fights he helps me in dishes that to saying u keep so many pots n pan all it goes on on..I always tell him his dad bro do all even his friends we saw I told him they r from ur office how they manage y can't u..if I say more will leave the job n sit.. I was so stupid even having master I sit at home.. I do all look after son he does not do even that not even feeding him wen he was a baby ,no for bathing nothing wen he was baby it's hard but atlesst now..
I think if I go back wat will my neighbors think wat my relatives all r going to talk abt me n my parents.. parents after filling all the needs they have to face this in their life ..can I survive some other city with my kid?.for sure my parents will put sense in me send me back or even ask sorry to inlaws though they don't have to..but I feel low.. never thought I will come to this pt of my life..if I had no kid I think I would have gone today not to my parents but try to survive alone..wat wrong did I do to deserve this..
I don't know wat I wrote do I sound sensible or even make it understand u all..

harinideep · Apr 24, 2017

instead of talking to ur hubby you should have talked directly to mil . Asked her not to talk abt money to kid . Also dont go from your house . Say that it is my house . I ll not leave. Dont ask sorry n all .
I can understand ur problems. It is better to act directly with mil instead of fight with hubby. If she teaches something wrong , tell to your kid in front of them , ' you should not compare dad with others . All r diffferent in this world . We should not value others by money " - like this tou should teach kid
If he says ' i ll not give gifts to u " . You should have replied to him - mom loves you so much than others . I want only kiss from u as gift " . You should have told to this in front of them
Ur in laws left ur house right . Actually you should have enjoyed nicely with hubby . Celebrated their absence . Instead why did u talk abt in laws . We asked u to reply back to in laws then n there . Talking to guys about their parents is total waste. We should deal in laws directly .
How is situation now . Dont worry . As of now ignore everything n act as if nothing happened
In laws might teach anything to kid n hubby. However we need to teach kid our values n make sure they dont take wrong valuez to heart

Sangeeta85 · Apr 24, 2017

harinideep said: ↑

instead of talking to ur hubby you should have talked directly to mil . Asked her not to talk abt money to kid . Also dont go from your house . Say that it is my house . I ll not leave. Dont ask sorry n all .
I can understand ur problems. It is better to act directly with mil instead of fight with hubby. If she teaches something wrong , tell to your kid in front of them , ' you should not compare dad with others . All r diffferent in this world . We should not value others by money " - like this tou should teach kid
If he says ' i ll not give gifts to u " . You should have replied to him - mom loves you so much than others . I want only kiss from u as gift " . You should have told to this in front of them
Ur in laws left ur house right . Actually you should have enjoyed nicely with hubby . Celebrated their absence . Instead why did u talk abt in laws . We asked u to reply back to in laws then n there . Talking to guys about their parents is total waste. We should deal in laws directly .
How is situation now . Dont worry . As of now ignore everything n act as if nothing happened
In laws might teach anything to kid n hubby. However we need to teach kid our values n make sure they dont take wrong valuez to heart
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Thanks dear.. but my son told me abt not gifting after inlaws go,and abt money matters wen mil was there but my husband laughed at it as usual I did not have courage to tell them n end up fighting with husband..
Should I start the topic abt wat they thought my son if "yes"how to initiate and I also know if I they will say it's the money game he had so told him good stuff n earn more all nonsense she will..

We had been out for a small trip immediately day after inlaws go as I had asked him for so he took us out.. it was nice ..

I m not talking with my husband I asked him to realize wat he told me was wrong say sorry then I will forgive.. he did not..

Sangeeta85 · Apr 24, 2017

I did not call them this weekend Fil n mil both will say me something mean so is it ok if I say them yeah did not call so wats wrong in it u guys could have, if it does not turn into a argument I think they will start calling us again at odd times n days ,I got rid of calling after a lot of struggle..
I have like a bad feeling just to break all relationships with them.. want to tell them directly talk nice to me or leave talking to me n my son do wat ever u wish with ur son..
Fil always said wen I m going to my parents house u go leave our grand son to us or if m at my mom place they will say u come or don't I don't care just send him that's it.. this was long back though but it has built anger in me

harinideep · Apr 24, 2017

if you are not brave enuf to talk , you should follow total ignore strategy .
Total ignoring is
1. You should not react to what they say
2. You should not bother about what they say . You should give zero importance to their words
See they taught something to ur son. But it does not mean anything . Once they leave , you can have lots of impact on ur son. You can teach him what ever u want to teach as you are going to be full time with him .
Sons will most times feel that their parents did things just like that and that we are exaggerating . Infact they will see us like villi if we keep on complaining to them .
So we should pick the battles . For small thing like these where they teach some silly things to kids , we need not react at all.
Where as if they shout at u or scream at u , you can react by leaving the place and warning your husband to ask him to keep his parents shut .
Please dont keep on telling that u r not brave enough to talk to them . As of now they have left the house . So you start enjoying life and totally forget them . But suppose if they shout at u for something ( over phone ) ,then you react by saying ' please talk in normal way ' and cut the phone.

harinideep · Apr 24, 2017

See ma , this is one life and we need to enjoy it . Dont spoil it over in laws .
Yes , they might have lots of things and made u angry in past or recently too . But why should you spoil your current happiness .
Deal it then and there and feel relaxed. If you cant speak when they r very harsh , atleast move from place , cut off phone and cry out .
If talking to ur hubby abt in laws is of no use , then stop it . When they irritate u so much , raise the topic n talk to him .
Where as if they do something silly , first of all tell u urself - ' Anyways , i know abt them already . why shud i worry' and start diverting ur self with some thing good like music , movies , art etc
There are 1001 things to do in this world like baking ,art , music , movies , sports, trips , cooking etc etc . Why should we waste our most precious life for others .
Suppose you have 2 crore with you , will it give to inlaws whole 2 crore just like that . Our time is more precious than the 2 crore. so we should not spend time thinking of what all things they did to irritate . ok ? now cheer up and cook nice meals , play with ur kid ,do some crafts with him and enjoy

Sangeeta85 · Apr 24, 2017

harinideep said: ↑

See ma , this is one life and we need to enjoy it . Dont spoil it over in laws .
Yes , they might have lots of things and made u angry in past or recently too . But why should you spoil your current happiness .
Deal it then and there and feel relaxed. If you cant speak when they r very harsh , atleast move from place , cut off phone and cry out .
If talking to ur hubby abt in laws is of no use , then stop it . When they irritate u so much , raise the topic n talk to him .
Where as if they do something silly , first of all tell u urself - ' Anyways , i know abt them already . why shud i worry' and start diverting ur self with some thing good like music , movies , art etc
There are 1001 things to do in this world like baking ,art , music , movies , sports, trips , cooking etc etc . Why should we waste our most precious life for others .
Suppose you have 2 crore with you , will it give to inlaws whole 2 crore just like that . Our time is more precious than the 2 crore. so we should not spend time thinking of what all things they did to irritate . ok ? now cheer up and cook nice meals , play with ur kid ,do some crafts with him and enjoy
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Ok I will learn to pick my battles n cut the phone if they r rude..
should I forgive my husband wat he said to me it was very hurtful.?

harinideep · Apr 24, 2017

Yes , i feel u can leave it . Dont discuss abt this matter . Just talk all other things n v casual

Sangeeta85 · Apr 24, 2017

harinideep said: ↑

Yes , i feel u can leave it . Dont discuss abt this matter . Just talk all other things n v casual
Click to expand...

Ok will get calm as possible..
Will listen to good music

YoGirl · Apr 26, 2017

Dear OP,
Instead of telling your H and the whole world about your in-laws issue, you should read some self help books on communication skills.. dont u watch those indian soaps/serials...in that huge drama..do u see any dil complaining to H abt in-laws issue? Mostly no!! Cuz there is either little use or no use or fires back badly. Learn to give back if you can or ignore. I have seen your thread in Relationships with in-laws forum. You updated us like a daily serial. I myself felt a little irritated. Can understand how your H reacts. Very few men stand up against their parents even if they are 100% wrong. Even we do the same with our parents.
Trick is to talk good abt them and then insert few bad (known) instances in the conversation with H. There must be surely some advantages of them being with you and away from you. Enjoy those...shoo ils away from ur brain..