1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Going Back To India And Living In Joint Family

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by mohini16, Jul 7, 2022.

  1. mohini16

    mohini16 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    177
    Likes Received:
    130
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    what do you ladies think about woman leaving own house and going back to India with husband and kid to live with In-laws (dependent financially) and brother-in-law and his family.

    I know most of the ladies prefer to live abroad because they want to stay away from in-laws and drama , would you consider going back to live with in-laws and brother-in-law's family ?
     
    Loading...

  2. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    999
    Likes Received:
    1,237
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    Not a good idea.
    Why would you be dependent financially on inlaws?
     
    anika987 likes this.
  3. thegirlygirl

    thegirlygirl Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,575
    Likes Received:
    1,678
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    It's a very general question and the answer depends on many things but it can be broken down into two

    Going to India to settle down- No, because I don't like to live there.

    Living in with inlaws and BIL - No because that arrangement doesn't work. In my opinion it only works in a business family where finances are joint and that too in very rich business families where everyone has their space and cooks to cook for everyone.
     
    anika987 likes this.
  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,231
    Likes Received:
    19,843
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Female
    Depends on your priorities and your relationship with your in laws and bro in law family.


    I come from a joint family and personally cannot even imagine living in that set up due to certain frictions .

    Even if they r lovely....distance is always good as there will be some small arguments and u will miss your old independent life..things won’t be the same until you are the kind of person who is so understanding etc..

    Why put ourselves in such a situation ? What u r saying does not seem right again in my opinion.

    You have a good life and many would like to be in your shoes. My point of view“ don’t change it“
     
  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,231
    Likes Received:
    19,843
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Female
     
  6. mohini16

    mohini16 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    177
    Likes Received:
    130
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks for replying , I am not yet going to live in joint family , I am single but have my kid , I am working in North America and will be going to India to start my business there (not quitting my job - will be working in evening/night in India)
    My whole purpose of going to India is to setup / start successful business by utilizing my day time , I am in talk with this person who is business man ( seems comparatively well - to-do , got his showrooms across India) he lives with his parents and his brother/sister in law and kid planning to move with him too and I already told him this arrangement won't work for me .
    I am confused myself , my purpose of going to India is to establish business and travel as needed as I will be having presence in North America as well , so for now I have to be India and could come back as well ,
    I haven't lived in joint family and I don't think I can survive for long , I ran away in my last marriage because I denied living with financially dependent and interfering in-laws

    I am thinking unless this guy is filthy rich and has maid for every damn work in house I can think of living with in-laws (they might die soon - I know it is mean thing to say but its fact :openmouth:

    otherwise as everyone said it is not "Good idea"
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2022
  7. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,037
    Likes Received:
    8,376
    Trophy Points:
    460
    Gender:
    Female
    Depends on the woman's in-laws and her relationship with them.

    In my case, I would do it in a heartbeat. There are many advantages to living in the traditional joint family system.
    .
     
  8. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    999
    Likes Received:
    1,237
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Gender:
    Female
    then this will not work for you
     
    Amica likes this.
  9. lakshmi888

    lakshmi888 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    144
    Likes Received:
    196
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    In some joint families in India, some women live like a queen with cook and driver and don’t do anything other than shopping for fun and gossip so it depends on the family situation !!…
     
  10. preethignan

    preethignan Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    76
    Likes Received:
    75
    Trophy Points:
    58
    Gender:
    Female
    I would love to live in a joint family. There are many reasons.

    My inlaws are God sent angels. They are non interfering very understanding, friendly .

    They eat whatever I cook, no demands or complaints from them. In fact they appreciate whole heartedly.

    No backbiting to others. If they feel I am wrong they tell it directly to me, it doesn't even go to my husband. We deal it ourselves. In fact many issues which aren't really major have never gone to my husband. Neither I tell him nor they. They are very mature people.


    They don't interfere when I discipline my kids nor do they interfere when I have an argument with my husband.

    They handle my kids with so much patience and they spend a lot of time with them.

    Given a chance I would definitely love to be with them.These days I wish that my girls also should get a family like I got.
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2022

Share This Page