Gods/ Females/Income Tax

Gods/ Females/Income Tax<?XML:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O />​

A few days back I received an Income Tax Notice for Scrutiny. Most people dread it, but I loved it this time.In these times of recession, it feels nice to know that someone thinks u are milking money off the public, a la my friends Thuroor and Modi, and placing me in that bracket , pleased me no end.Friends should overestimate u, and enemies underestimate !!!


I told my friends I have received this IT notice, on cards yesterday, and they had a new look of respect in their eyes for me, for they think I am a gone case these days, just sitting at home and blogging, what must I be eating ? Their look gave my ego a good boost.In the olden days, an IT raid, proved that u are a rich man, and people would flock with proposals for yr children !!!





I went to the CA’s office to get the papers in order. On the way I passed this vegetable fellow, and look here what I see. Pictures of Gods, all behind , Gods are needed to make Good sales in vegetables eh ! I think these gods are not helping him much, for I see him here for the last quarter century, same place, same Gods. Maybe these gods are outdated, so they don’t help.He should put pics of Tiger Woods, Swami Nityananda, or pictures of virile men like ND Tiwari, so that women come flocking over ! Gods are passé , for they don’t seem to help this fellow.






Well at the CA office , I went to the peon, and asked him to take out my file, and he yelled to his assistant ( yes peons too have assistants these days u see ) , that bring File No. 420 , and out it came in a jiffy. I told him, yaar, I don’t have so much income, how come the scrutiny, and u know what he said ? Don’t worry, these IT guys have gone crazy, even my file came under scrutiny !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, there my ego went phussss like a punctured balloon, I am in the category of a peon eh !


The Thuroor saga continues. Today papers reported, he has quit, and Sunanda too has told Kochi to take back her dirty smelling sweat ! Something the paper reported today caught my attention immediately.


Tow years back , ST was staying in a Five Star Hotel as Govt Bunglows were not available. The Finance Minister Pranab Mukherjee told him , that it does not reflect well , and please to shift to Kerela House, till he gets a suitable accommodation. To this ST replied “ I am paying my own money, please mind your own Business” , which hurt PM no end. PM replied “ As finance Minister, I can order for the IT to find out the source of these funds spent on the 5 Star, which shut ST up !


ST was the blue eyed boy literally for Manmohan and Sonia Gandhi, for reasons I don’t know, maybe bcs he is one of the more polished one, good looking and educated. But yesterday, after he unsuccessfully put forward his case before the two, it was Pranab babu, who told the two that ST is better out, and so it was.


Sometimes the ego of a person kills him. I think ST thinks no end of himself, his English speaking, his abilty to find a pretty fiancé , and that he can Tweet, which other ministers cant, but he created enemies along the way, who were just waiting for him to make a slip, before they got the chance to pounce on him, and they did with a vengeance.


And Sunanda, well , was to sweat it out in the next 10 years for her Sweat money. Money was to come first , sweating later. Strange isn’t it ! Reminds of a similar case, during the mid 90’s , when as a rep of the now infamous Enron, Rebecca came, charmed the Indian politicians with a show of her pretty legs, ( I found her aweful, thin, bony, too sharp featured ), she bagged the contract, and Enron declared in their books in America, that a 100 million dollors were spent to educate the indian politicians of what power supply is ( indirect reference to bribing ).


Women have been the downfall of many a man, and ST too fell in the same honey trap.I guess the Indian housewives now have learned a new phrase “ Sweat Money”, and may tweak the ears of their husbands to pay them more, for they “ Sweat” it out in the offices and the kitchen”. Poor men !!!


A neighbour inspired by Tuffy and Bingo, has gone and got two small Jack Russels, one male and one female. The male fellow loves to run away from his home, and come over to my office, where he is sitting most of the time, till the little boy comes searching for him. T and B love him very much, and keep sniffing the fellow u know where. Gays really, for they don’t care for the female, and just ignore her. When the hell will I become a grandpa ! These two louts sons of mine , don’t seem to be interested in becoming Dads !




This ash thing over Europe is something really. 17000 flights cancelled , and Billions gone down the drain. I feel so sorry for the people, so many of them have run short of money, and the airlines are just not providing hotels or food to most. But the flip side is, the hotels must be minting money, for every hotel in Europe and America, close to the Airports must be full now ! Someone weeps, and someone smiles eh !A business opportunity for soem Indians to make home made Chutney sandwitches, ahome made Tea, and sell it outside the Airports and make hay eh !


From this blog of mine, u can realize that I am not as dumb as my profile pic may show me to be. I like to think I am as smart , if not less than ST, with the only difference , that I have Harsha, the one and only, and no Sunanda anywhere near me.In that way he is lucky, I envy ST ! Let us see , now that the sweat is gone, how long will the two, remain together. His ministry is gone, and her sweat equity, keep watching this page , for I don’t think she has much use of him now, and may dump him anytime ! You can never got honey, without money !!!


Females , Females, they are trouble.This female had me smiling.A woman was caught on the CCV of Four Seasons hotel , Mumbai, carrying away a laptop and files from Lalit Modi's office a few minutes before the Income Tax team arrived, and nothing was found, as expected.



When the IT probed, she turned out to be some Muslim Girl, and Vijay Mallaya said she is is step neice or step daughter! when the hell did Malaya marry before, now wives , girlfriends and daughters are tumbling out of the closet like nine pins eh ! And Malaya says, she is learning the ropes under Modi, but he does not have any connection with her ? Wow !




A friend of mine was telling me, that these days, if a woman is divorced, and if someone asks her about her husband, she says, i am a widow !!! The asker feels sympathy, and does not ask further.If she had said teh truth, the person may ask, what happened, whose fault was it, did he have an affair that u left him etc.

So to cut short, say u are a widow ! First he is out of yr life, now dead eh !Ingenious !!! What is that about the fury of a scorned Woman ?


KAMAL MAHTANI





Police to Sharabi – Kahan jar aha hai re be !
Sharabi – Daru se hone wale nuksan par pravachan sunne
Police – Itni Raat ko kaun deta hai pravachan ?
Sharabi – Biwi !





Scotch is a wonderful Drink.
One Double and it makes u feel u are “ Single”




When u propose to a Girl – its called Direct Marketing
When u call her – its Tele marketing
When she walks to u – Its brand recognition
And when she slaps u – Its customer Feedback !

 

Dear Aruna,

Waht i like about u, is that now u are becoming the first to [post a comment on my blogs , and others too, and so Viji is mad at u, for she misses out.Secondly i am glad u are missing the Sphinx and loving Indus more:biglaugh

and u are wrong, in the last 20 hours that i posted this blog, u are just the one person who has come visiting, so the title may have instead put off other.

But for me one good comment like yrs is good enough.No complaints.

This Ash thing, well what an act of God eh ! They say it is the worst scenerio since the second world war eh ! God can really screw u up anythime.HAHA

Thanks for the lovely FB, regards

kamal

where are ur blogs, do write please, and give us the pleasure to comment on them,Aruna.