God Forbid

bubblygal · Mar 29, 2013

Kamalji said: ↑

God Forbid

Marriages are made in Heaven but prenup agreements are made on earth with the help of lawyers. They convince the couple, God forbid, What if the marriage does not run, then what ?
So a pre nup agreement is made, which decides how the marriage will run, who will contribute what for the household expense, and in case of divorce, who gets what. So if one partner is rich, if a prenup is not made beforehand, then half of the estate of the rich partner goes to the other one.

So without a prenup effectively it means, as u say at the marriage time “ I Do”, it means u do agree that from that date onwards, u are worth half of yr amount, plus u have to give a monthly maintenance towards the future kids and the ex spouse, who is yr current wife now.

Since yesterday there were no papers, I was bored so went to the internet, and was browsing around , when I came across this interesting subject, and it set me thinking really about what is life, and marriage. That how expensive it is to marry really at times, for these rich people. I will give u a few examples , to show u how it goes abroad and how it can soon be a reality here.

Some of the most bizarre prenup agreements , u can read here as follows

Ten Craziest Prenuptial Agreements | Wedding Planning, Advice & Etiquette
The Hollywood Actor Micheal Douglas had some strange clauses in his prenup.
6. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas
Next in the “making marriage pay” category is Catherine Zeta-Jones. Her prenup with “Wall Street” star Michael Douglas entitles her to $2.8 million per each year the marriage remains in effect. When Zeta-Jones was asked about the agreement she had the following to say:
“I think prenups are brilliant,” Zeta-Jones chirps in the January issue of Vanity Fair, admitting that under her prenup with Douglas, “I get taken care of very well.”
And it also says that for each time MD is caught cheating, he will be fined 5 million dollors, rather than a divorce, for staying married is lucrative eh !
On one hand women want to be equal to men, and on the other hand, they want a hefty compensation in case of a divorce ? As it is , they take away half of the man;s wealth as soon as they marry, and then monthly alimonies start too. I would say pretty expensive to get married abroad.

So in these prenup agreements, u limit ur losses to what the lady agrees to sign before she marries u, and u need a smart lawyer both sides to get yr good pound of flesh !!!!!

In india the haggling does happen at the time of divorce, but since we have a lot of black money here, it is very difficult to prove what is the actual worth of the man. And when the son stands to inherit property from his parents, it is not his still, what can the lady ask for from his future inheritance, which he will surely inherit, but only when the oldies die.

And there was this lovely case recently on which I had blogged on, of a lady she took Rs. 1/- as alimony, so that it is on record of the courts that she got her alimony from her husband, and she did not want anything more as she said she was earning good enough.

When I got married , we were both broke, Dad helped us make this house, and he gave us capital to start our exports. When the good times came, Harsha was the proprieter of the export firm, and so today most of the money is in her name. So god Forbid, it anything happens, she will have to pay me alimony, so that I can drink beer and eat fish whole day eh ! Law is law, the poorer of the spouse gets the alimony eh ! HAHA

That is why I am careful not to annoy her, for she has the upper hand, and then again I think at this age and the way I look, which babe will take a second hand me eh ! So with those thoughts in mind, I behave myself !!!!

Not a bad business to be in , hobnobbing with the rich and the famous, and getting good fees, maybe I take this hobby as a profession, and become a percentage lawyer, taking a percentage of what I help recover for the poor supposedly rich divorcees , what say !!!!!!!
And if the judge asks for the reason why my ;lady client wants divorce, Mother in law is the best excuse, but if she is dead, even then kamalji can come up with an ingenious one, that her ghost comes to haunt the poor DIL, and hence she wants a divorce !!!!! After all, my percentage too is at stake eh ! Ah so much money to make, and so few years , let me get cracking.!!!!!

KAMAL MAHTANI

I have made a few mistakes in my life, thank God none of them call me DAD !!!!!

HINDI SONGS AND THEIR MEDICAL INTERPRETIONS

Fever – Jiya jale Jaan jale ,Raat bhar Dhuan Jale
Constipation – Suhani Raat Dhal Chuki, Na Jane tum kab aogi !
Cataract- Tujhe mein Rab dikhta hai, yaran main kya karoon !
Alzameirs - Tujhe yaad na meri aye, kissi se ab kya kehna !
Vertigo – Tan Dole mera Man Dole !
Urinary infection – Tip Tip Barsa Paani, paani ne aag lagayi !
Piles – Batana bhi nahin ata, chupana bhi nahin ata !

Ipossible Wish

I want to see Manmohan Singh speaking to the wife of Salman Khan, on Sachin Tendulkar’s retirement party !!!

Nurse – Sir, your wife’s phone.
Doctor – What is it.
Nurse – She wants to kiss you
Doctor – im busy, cant u see, u take it and give it to me later !!!!!!

A person who believes in working, will always have a job.
But a person who thinks “kaun kare” (who will do this ), will always be a boss !!!
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Kamalji indeed a nice thread and your jokes are too good!Now these songs will have a new angle to it whenever i hear it!hehehehe
Coming to your thread pre nups i sometimes dont understand the real meaning of it, is it an agreement to earn profits by entering into an contractual obligation between lessor and lesee to potray each other as husband and wife , however (proviso) the man (read husband ) does not cater to the demands of the lessee or vice versa the parties to the contract have a right to terminate it subject to the notice period served by the decree!
Simple commercialization is the key to these money mongers!Reality is half of them would be hunting for the victims and guess what they would even know till when they can take that is why precisely i call it a lessor lessee agreement!
This mentality today is aped from west not exactly aped cause earlier or rather even now in India it is known as binamy!But all said and done miya biwi raazi toh kyaa karega gaazi?hehehehe not bad sir after reading your posts now i have started coining hindi terms!

Kamalji · Mar 29, 2013

Dear Balaji,

Yes Ati Nahin would have been a better song for constipation.HAHA

WEll a good wiush to ask, to live long, Balaji.HAHA

Regards

kamal

Balajee said: ↑

Kamalji, as far as constipation is concerned, there is a great song whose refrain goes "Aati nahin, Aati Nahin, Aati nahin".Icf God appears before you you can trick him into granting immortality by wishing to live long enough to see Manmohan Singh speaking to Mrs.Salman Khan about Sachin's retirement plans.
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Kamalji · Mar 29, 2013

Dear Symala,

Even live in relationships are not foolproof, the best exaple being of John Abrahm and Bipasa Basu.Even after knowing each other for so many years, still u want out, cant understgand really.

But this pre nup things i will never understand, how can u bring in money in between eh ! Sad.

Regards

kamal

shyamala1234 said: ↑

Dear Kamalji,

Hilarious one!

May be that is the reason quite some prefer live in relationship...no alimony, nothing. Pack the suitcase and walk out. In India we have not reached that level yet. Of course, divorce rates are also very few.

Syamala
Click to expand...

Kamalji · Mar 29, 2013

Dea r Dinny,

Yes silly joke but cute, the school children type joke eh ! HAHA

Regards

kamal

Dinny said: ↑

How cute is that.

And i loved that doctor and nurse's joke
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Kamalji · Mar 29, 2013

Dear Mindi,

in the indian context, there will be many things in the prenup other than money. first will be the MIL, then husband's sisters, relatives, that they must not interfere in her work., that parents sell the family flat and give a share to the son, so he can live seperately with his to be wife, etc etc, and also that he loves her parents more than his own parents, who knows eh !!!!!!

HAHA

Regards

kamal

Mindian said: ↑

Smart you are , kamalji to behave and be good ) I am just wondering how pre-nup agreement will work in the indian scenario. Maybe many marriages will survive? but the terms that will be mentioned may vary..now isnt that a good topic for another blog?? ) LOVED the first two jokes:rotfl
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Kamalji · Mar 29, 2013

Dear Bhavna,

Yes , laws favor women, when women want equality, then why do they want laws that favor them.Not fair, eh Bhavna.HAHA

Regards

kamal

BHAVNAM6 said: ↑

My dear Kamlaji,

T

No wonder you are a shrewd businessman who knows how to act wisely....ha ha

I do not think Harsha ma'am would think in her dream about her upper hand though.......

You carry on enjoying your life with full of spirit....

.

You are right....the laws in USA are favorable to women. I have come across many customers in my business who had to leave house at the very moment wife complained even for false reasons.

Love,
Bhavna

YO
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Kamalji · Mar 29, 2013

Dear Oopal,

As always, thanks for the cheerful words of encouragment, which makes me want to post more and ore blogs.Thank u so much.

Regards

kamal

OOPALL said: ↑

Hello Kamalji,
As always your posts brings smiles!! Thanks for sharing the jokes as well.

Cheers!
Oopall
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Kamalji · Mar 29, 2013

Dear Kelly,

See what i write is the truth, that she is richer than me, that i have to be careful, that she is a learned lady, she knows the laws, so i had better behave, no ? HAHA

Good one.

RegaRds

kamal

kelly1966 said: ↑

Dear Kamalji..
loved all your jokes ..but the best joke is quoted below....
That is why I am careful not to annoy her, for she has the upper hand, and then again I think at this age and the way I look, which babe will take a second hand me eh ! So with those thoughts in mind, I behave myself !!!!

When I get to meet Harshaji I shall definitely ask her to recall atleast 30mins of her long married life to you when you were scared of her and well behaved!!!!.. HAHAHAHA... what a joke.. knowing you its impossible..

Take care
Kerman
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Kamalji · Mar 29, 2013

Dear Bubbly,

u have given a new meaning to prenup with yr explanations, and i must say, yr hindi is too good, and so is yr power of translation to have written the way u have.Superb is the word, really, and i thinki u must be really bubbly and full of spirit in real life.HAHA

Yes when the couple ius happy, the lawyers are unemployed u see.HAHA

Regards

kamal

bubblygal said: ↑

Kamalji indeed a nice thread and your jokes are too good!Now these songs will have a new angle to it whenever i hear it!hehehehe
Coming to your thread pre nups i sometimes dont understand the real meaning of it, is it an agreement to earn profits by entering into an contractual obligation between lessor and lesee to potray each other as husband and wife , however (proviso) the man (read husband ) does not cater to the demands of the lessee or vice versa the parties to the contract have a right to terminate it subject to the notice period served by the decree!
Simple commercialization is the key to these money mongers!Reality is half of them would be hunting for the victims and guess what they would even know till when they can take that is why precisely i call it a lessor lessee agreement!
This mentality today is aped from west not exactly aped cause earlier or rather even now in India it is known as binamy!But all said and done miya biwi raazi toh kyaa karega gaazi?hehehehe not bad sir after reading your posts now i have started coining hindi terms!
Click to expand...

bubblygal · Mar 30, 2013

Kamalji said: ↑

Dear Bubbly,

u have given a new meaning to prenup with yr explanations, and i must say, yr hindi is too good, and so is yr power of translation to have written the way u have.Superb is the word, really, and i thinki u must be really bubbly and full of spirit in real life.HAHA

Yes when the couple ius happy, the lawyers are unemployed u see.HAHA

Regards

kamal
Click to expand...

Hehehe thnk you sir!

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