Goal in life

Viswamitra · Sep 6, 2015

“In order to promote harmony, the first rule one should follow is control of the tongue. One should never give immediate expression to all thoughts. Select, ponder and then speak out. Speak softly, sweetly, without malice in the heart. One should speak as though one is speaking to oneself. The tongue should be mostly used to say the name of the Lord or express love to the people in need. The feet should be mostly used to go on pure and holy errands to serve. The heart should mostly contain pure thoughts and feelings.”

“The life, which beings with a wail, must end with a smile. When one is a little baby, everyone around the baby smiles, though the baby keep wailing. But when a person dies, all around that person must weep at the loss, and the person should smile in peace and quiet resignation. The pleasure from sensual enjoyment (bhoganandam) must finally be converted into happiness from divine union (yoganandam). The pleasure of senses must gradually be left behind and one must develop a taste for a higher and more lasting pleasure derivable from the springs of one’s own personality. For divine union, apart from devotion to God, peace and happiness are the other essential.”

In my pursuit of spirituality, I keep reading and digesting a lot of content that helps me lead an ideal and purposeful life. Last week, I read the above two paragraphs and contemplated on how one can put to use these two important teachings for my own well-being. It is always good to share with elite members of IL who might share their deep insight and help me make further spiritual progress.

In the Western civilization, verbal communication is an important trait everyone looks to determine the personality of each person. However, they also spend a lot of time listening carefully to what others say. Whenever, I compete to say something in a conversation, invariably my soft voice becomes louder. Similarly, when I have preconceived notion about the personality of someone, I tend to listen second guessing what he or she had to say. When I listen with open heart with no malevolence, I stand to gain because I establish peace in my heart. Whenever I use the time to repeat the name of the Lord or to engage in a conversation to help someone, my heart automatically feel a great sense of fulfillment. There is no point in taking the extraordinary effort to meet someone to say something bad and therefore, if it is to discuss something hostile, I delay it so that it helps me to mull over the issue more. I stand a better chance to forget and move on without further hurt in my heart.

The second teaching is much more complex as it involves not only my behavior and character but also how it is being perceived by others around me. Without my knowledge, I may end up hurting people especially the ones who don’t open up to say my mistakes. In such situations, contemplation of my thoughts, words and actions really help me to look at it carefully from multiple angles. People say it takes a lot of courage to admit one’s mistake and apologize but in my view, the peace of mind that is established through such apology is worth everything in life including my own self-pride. I know for sure people were laughing when I cried as a baby but I am not sure whether people will cry for me when I go away nor I am confident whether I would have established complete peace in my heart to quietly resign to my end. However, I realize the importance of union with my Self and the associated happiness. I am willing to forgo the sensual enjoyment gradually as I get older and older.

I know the real defining moment for my character is how people receive the news of my end and the love they express for my thoughts, words and actions. At the time of reckoning, it matters how people are willing to see me off with regret and how I feel the sense of fulfillment in life. I am sure there will be unfinished jobs when I leave but I am hoping to never have regret about my flawed character. If I could accomplish that feat, I can hope to leave in peace with a smile in my face. Kindly share your thoughts that would help me to further refine my character.

vaidehi71 · Sep 6, 2015

Viswa Sir,

Very well said and written. It really takes a person like you to write and describe what you have written. I am not where I fit. I know where I am wrong and do acknowledge it , because I will be one first trying to reconcile. I don't talk much which can both be an advantage and disadvantage as well. In western countries they like to people to talk, where my character can be a disadvantage, whereas at home they like me quiet as they are happy to have a wife and mother who does not argue will make them happier. ing

Everyone does some sort of hurting to others with or without their knowledge, but the best answer to it would be realize it and acknowledge it. Not sure whether someone would feel for me when I leave this world, but as a person following Hinduism we have to think that the soul is living in our physical body as a transit and will definitely will have to move on. I do wish that I think only about God whilst leaving this world and that is what required according to scholars. People say when one is leaving one should not wail and try to pray to God and make sure that the soul hears all the names of God.

I am really not sure whether most of us know what is the Goal of life is including myself. Really everyone runs behind the economic benefits of life. I have seen even long term friends are becoming more self centered and becoming westernised at levels not seen previously in India.

One thing we can do is to make sure that we do what is useful not only to the family but to society as well. Few are blessed to do so and I wish they do it with all their whole heart. Monetary benefits would never give such a happiness. I am happy because I don't get benefits monetarily, but get satisfaction in the way of seeing others (society) happiness through my work. As elders say save puniyam (puniyathai serkavittalum paravaayilai, paavathai serkama irunda sari thaan) to your family which will help generations. Hope I would be able to continue as such.

I like your way of writing and I would be reading it often, thanks for thought provoking thread.

Viswamitra · Sep 6, 2015

Vaidehi,

Thank you for your excellent first feedback to this post. What a great trait to have i.e. to not only acknowledge and accept the mistakes but to make the effort to reconcile. I understand your point about not talking working both to your advantage as well as disadvantage. I have experienced that myself. Sometimes remaining quiet is a problem as well as it is considered as a weakness.

I couldn't agree more about acknowledging and accepting the mistakes. It takes a lot of courage to do that but the peace of mind one achieves after that deserves swallowing one's pride. I don't know either what everyone around me would think if I am gone but I can do only what I think is the best without hurting anyone else.

It is my concerted opinion that habits die hard and that is why learned people suggest we should do good acts and worship everyday so that this habit would continue until the day of reckoning. All of a sudden it is difficult to think of God when someone is ready to leave.

I remember a story of a father who named all of his 12 sons as Kesava, Narayana, Madhava, Govinda, Vishnu, Madhusudhana, Dhrivirkama, Vamana, Sridhara, Rishikesha, Padmanabha and Damodhara hoping that he would be calling one of them when he dies thereby remembering the Lord. When he was in deathbed he saw all his 12 children and asked the eldest, "If all of you are here, who is watching our business?" The death occurred at that moment and he left thinking about his business.

No matter how much wealth one builds, it is not going to satisfy a person. There will never be a situation when one would feel that what one has is enough. I think the best goals one can fix is to build a flawless character, engage in righteous acts, help those who are in need as God's children, hold everything in trust and become detached, achieve equanimity in handling pleasure and pain, put ceiling on desires, control the mind and senses and continue purifying one's soul. Least one could do is not to hurt anyone and help everyone as much as possible. Manifest the love that is present in the heart for the benefit of the world is the best approach one can take.

I sincerely appreciate your kind words and I look forward to receiving your invaluable feedback for everyone of my posts. Thanks and regards.

Viswa

jayasala42 · Sep 6, 2015

Dear viswa,

What a beautiful message!
It is very difficult to remain calm and non judgemental, when you are placed in the position of advisor.
Silence is gold. But we are expected to talk on certain occasions, which may eventually solve the problem.

My Amma, used to say, catch hold of the good habit of'not hurting others' and follow it strictly. All other good traits like patience,smiles, carefully worded expressions, respect, understanding the sentiments etc follow automatically leading to congenial
atmosphere and harmony at home.
yesterday being Krishnashtami coinciding with teachers' day, I happened to read a few chapters of Gita from commentary from Ramakrishna Mutt.

Perhaps Krishna was the best teacher in the world who demonstrated more than anyone the reality and practicality of this world.
I could relate Gita with what you have written easily.

We find that Krishna alone accepts the whole of life. And he accepts it not in any selected dimension but in all its dimensions.

Krishna is against repression. He alone does not choose he accepts life unconditionally. He does not shun love; being a man he does not run away from women. As one who has known and experienced God, he alone does not turn his face from war. He is full of love and compassion, and yet he has the courage to accepts and fight a war. His heart is utterly non-violent, yet he plunges into the fire and fury of violence when it becomes unavoidable. He accepts the nectar, and yet he is not afraid of the poison.

There is no such point in the cosmos where nature ends and God begins. It is nature itself that, through a subtle process of dissolution, turns into God, and it is God Himself Who, through a subtle process of manifestation, turns into nature. Nature is manifest God, and God is unmanifest nature and that is what adwait means, what the principle of One without the other means. We can understand Krishna only if we clearly understand this concept of adwait, that only One is – One without the other.

There are basic principles which one must learn from teachings of Bhagavad Gita to get, if one wants, to the right state of mental and physical strength.

The 1st principle is listen, listen and listen. In the first chapter of Bhagavad Gita, Krishna only listened to Arjuna. One must learn to listen to others. Out of 18 counseling sessions which Krishna took with Arjuna, one full session was devoted only to listening to Arjuna. Fifty percent of the emotion of a person is out once he has spoken to the Healer about his or her problems.

The 2nd principle is to remain non-judgmental while listening. This is beautifully described in Chapter 2 shloka 10. While listening, Krishna did not show any signs of anger to Arjuna even at those extremely difficult moments. On the contrary, Krishna kept on smiling and listened patiently. This is another avenue where most of the healthcare workers fail in their relationship with the patients. Doctors sometimes become annoyed with the patients because they narrate unrelated details of their health problems. We need to understand and appreciate their predicaments.

The third principle is that every answer should be validated by reasoning. Throughout 18 counseling sessions between Arjuna and Krishna incorporating 700 question and answers, Arjuna was given proper reasoning, either experiential or based on sound logic. Krishna never forced Arjuna to believe in what He was saying without getting convinced about it.

The fourth principle is that of reassurance. Krishna re-assures Arjuna on two occasions. Firstly, when he said that “I’ll appear whenever there is adharma” meaning thereby that whenever there is injustice someone will come and set it right. In terms of a Healer the doctor should convincingly say that wherever there is a disease I will be there”.

Again in Chapter 18 shloka 65, Krishna says that anyone who takes conscious decision and interprets things with full devotion, there is no reason why he or she should not become happy or healthy. He again assures Arjuna that he is going to be successful.

The fifth principle is depicted in the last shloka of Gita (18.78) which summarizes the importance of a good doctor-patient (teacher-student) relationship where Sanjay says to Dhriharashtra that when there is a Healer like Krishna and a patient like Arjuna, there is no reason why there will not be a victory..

For IL team, Shri Viswa has taken the role of teacher.How we the students are going to capture, absorb and assimilate depends on our concentration, determination combined with Gitacharyan's grace.
Though this may not be totally in consonance with Viswa's message, there are traces of response, I believe.
This is more to share of my appreciation of Krishna as a teacher.

Jayasala 42

gitasharma · Sep 6, 2015

My dear Viswa sir
If I may call you so ,though you have said in one of your responses to me that I may call you viswa. I wish to clarify here that I call you sir not because of age or station in your life but simply because of the learning I receive from reading your posts.
so again today reading what you have put so well keeps me in a state of that eternal perception that has been provoked.
We all at one point or the other go through this process of introspection more so when we have crossed a particular stage of life I shall leave this staging for some later time.but for now I shall focus on the questions raised.
we all wish to be remembered fondly when we have left.,yet how many of us realize that this is dependent on how we have lived.It cannot be scripted for: if so the genuinity of its redemption is lost It has to be natural a very way of being
We all describe our own-selves in our mind as having certain traits,In the real being we may or may not portray the particular trait and the one lookers may perceive us .as may be yet another . when there is a unison in these three dimensions then there is a true being.the day we learn to train our behavior in tune with what we wish to portray our self then we have set the rhythm of life to the tala and swar sthayee and so the music would definitely be enjoyable and a melody to all who listen.
In another dimension if we hear very closely we all have an inner calling, instilling ,instructing ,cajoling us to be , to do something .If we can hear this ,and the sooner the better then we would be living the life we have been meant to .
In the sphere of daily life keeping religious/spiritual connotations aside to live truelly being sincere ,saying what needs to be said deftly and making a difference to those around Life would have been well lived and certainly one would shed a tear of loss of a good being at the time of adieu.
finally i as a person try my best to finish all tasks and not leave anything half way through be it clearing my table before I leave for the day or my kitchen platform my payments etc etc.This has become a second nature.probably there is a hidden unconscious fear of sudden departure ,I have in my life seen some close friends families go through additional trauma the loss of a dear one on one hand and the loose ends left behind that needs to cleared .
On a closing note a person as knowledgeable would definitely be missed if Ilites are an indicator all of us look forward eagerly for what you have to say and if in virtual life the impact is so I.m sure everyone around you would love you love you always and will always wish you were there though the truth is life is finite .It is this journey we need to make meaningful.along this journey some travel with us till their destination comes and they get off and the train chugs along we move on new passengers board in their stead and this displacement replacment reactions continue till we finally get off.we have left our classmates behind as we chose different paths we have let go of loved ones and so on what matters is how we have walked our path and if we have intended well we would have left behind foot prints in time and memories behind for one to recall.
until we meet again a warm handshake in thought .

Viswamitra · Sep 6, 2015

Dear Smt. Jayasala:

You are too kind to shower praise that I have taken the role of a teacher. But I know the truth is far from it. At best, my dispositions could be called as random thoughts of a seeker who is looking for advice from learned spiritually advanced souls like you. Your incredible response served the purpose for which my snippet was written. I will cherish your response for the rest of my life with reverence that it deserves. In fact, I will practice the invaluable teachings of Lord Krishna that you have summarized eloquently in your wonderful response. I always remain as a student with a lot of appetite to learn more and more. I am praying constantly to give me the ability to capture, absorb and assimilate knowledge through concentration, determination and grace. There is no question in my mind that I am truly blessed to have someone like you among us to share your wisdom and make me a better human being.

I watch with great interest Mahabharath that is telecast in Vijay TV for the second time. I always wonder why Lord Krishna is shown in this serial as one who is suggestive and why He is asking everyone to think about Dharma. You have answered my question nicely here by your words that "Krishna is against repression". The sentences after that are great lesson plans for me as to how to conduct my own life.

Your disposition that Bhagavan and Prakriti are one and the same is unquestionable. I am able to comprehend through your words a subtle message that Prakriti in essence is nothing but Bhagavan that is manifested into a form. I have carefully spent a lot of time reading Adi Sankara's Viveka Choodamani and the great Saint articulate this concept extremely well in this Crown Jewel of wisdom.

I am reading and digesting with great interest the five principles you have extracted out of the teachings of Lord Krishna in Bhagavad Gita. Listening, not judging, reasoning, reassuring and believing are five great values one can practice in real life. Being in silence to listen to the voice of the Lord is something that I miss a lot because of the chatter my mind makes round the clock. When I look at the other four principles and contemplate, I realize I have a long way in my journey. But every step I make in the right direction reduces my journey time and I know reading such Satsang type responses from learned people like you is the step in the right direction.

I have read with keen interest Swami Rama's, Perennial psychology of the Bhagavad Gita". In Chapter 2:16,17, his interpretation goes as follows: " We live in two realities at the same time. One is within the field of ordinary human consciousness; the other is in the unconscious and even beyond. Only that which is nonexistent, temporal, transitory, and changeable is conceivable by the mind. But that which is self-existent cannot be grasped or known by the mind. It will always exist because it is the self-existent, absolute, and unchangeable reality. That which is existent is called Sat, and that which is nonexistent is called asat- the real and the unreal. The one that exist always is known as Absolute Reality and one that is transitory is called Apparent Reality.

Your description here about the difference between Bhagavan and Prakriti brought back reading those lines to my mind.

Viswa

iyerviji · Sep 6, 2015

My dear Viswa you are right we should talk wherever necessary. There is a saying

Words plus eggs should be handled with care
for words once spoken and eggs once broken
are the hardest things to repair

As far as possible I also like to control my tongue and speak where and whenever necessary. Atleast now I am old so there will be some respect if I say something but also it is applicable only to the persons who will like to follow my advise. Today also I felt bad for my relative who lost his wife ten years back and living with his son. His son and dil who is a Maharashtrian looks after him well but since they are young and they cant take tensions and have no patience like how we had and still have. His grand daughter was not well and was asking for a fruiti and thatha said I will get it later. Since she is not well , his son was worried his dad might buy the fruiti so he got angry with his father. I felt I should give my piece of advise, so I told him I know you are taking good care of your father but dont get angry with him . Be calm with him so that later you will not repent. He told his problems why he is getting angry , I told him dont feel bad but felt like telling you this. He respects me and my husband a lot and treats us like his own parents , so he said dont worry periamma I will not get angry. Now a days they have their own tensions so sometimes get angry .

Viswa you are such a nice person people will always remember you . I also try to do good things and I am ready to ask sorry if I do something wrong because I cant bear anyone not talking to me especially people who are close with me. If I feel they are different I go and talk to them and ask pardon if I have done something wrong and clear my doubts. I dont have any ego problems and like to appreciate everyone and try to bring a smile on everyone's face.

I was also watching Mahabaratha last Sunday, today I could not because I had gone for Satyanarayana Pooja in my brother in law's house. They had showed Lord Krishna's teachings to Arjuna. Yesterday also I felt blessed because I could go for Narayaneeyam and read 95 chapters. Thanks to the person who sponsored and thanks to my husband who took me to the temple. If he had not gone I would have also not gone .Today my husband could not come for the pooja as he had annual meeting of his Samithi . He was also happy because they got good collections in the meeting and everyone praised the samithi and one mama is there who is 90 yrs old, earlier he was President and he is like appa to everyone in the samithi and they call him also appa . Appa told him that because you and other two members we have got good collection.

As far as possible we should try to do good to others and like Vaidehi has mentioned if we dont do punya let us not do pap. Hurting others is very bad and knowingly we should neve rhurt anyone. But some people dont understand how others will feel when they hurt and hurt them. We should also be in others shoes to know their feelings

iyerviji · Sep 6, 2015

I forgot to add this quote to my post

Journey of life starts with a full bag of luck and an empty bag of experience. The goal is tofill the bag of experience before the bag of luck gets empty

Viswamitra · Sep 7, 2015

Dear Gita,

Please call me whatever you are comfortable. My age being 61, many ILites prefer to call me Sir and I left it to their discretion. I am myself comfortable when I call ILites Cheeniya Sir or Smt. Jayasala or Smt.Pushpavalli Srinivasan or Vijiakka with a prefix or affix.

I.m sure everyone around you would love you love you always and will always wish you were there
Click to expand...

These words were music to my ears not because I would like everyone to remember me after I am gone but because it is reflection of my conduct and character when I lived among them.

a person as knowledgeable would definitely be missed if Ilites are an indicator all of us look forward eagerly for what you have to say and if in virtual life
Click to expand...

You are too kind to say such words and I am very humbled by it. But there isn't a day pass by without me admiring the knowledge and wisdom of ILites whether they are young, mid-aged or seniors. Their responses give me a great sense of encouragement to write more and more and elicit such wonderful responses from them. In fact, I get benefited by their excellent feedback.

You have very nicely articulated what a person need to do in order to be remembered after he is gone. If our life was used to serving others and adding value to them or at least made their life better through our helps instead of hurting them, we have served our purpose.

There is a saying, "I am not what I think I am (the body), I am not what others think I am (the mind) and I am actually the indestructible Atma that is divine". The other day Satguru was articulating the meaning of Bharath in a Facebook page that I had a chance to listen to. He was mentioning that the word "Bha" means bhava or how one conducts ourselves, "Ra" means the divine will and how our bhava reflects the divine will and "Ta" means tala or how the Prakiri complies with the divine will. Therefore he concluded by saying wherever these three are in sync., one can call where they live as "Bharath". He was feeling sorry that British changed the name of Bharath into India by making the divine name meaningless. When I read about synchronizing three dimensions, I thought of his quote.

Your very practical approach to life of leading a life with sincerity, completing everything on timely basis without procrastinating and listen to the silence in us for guidance, etc. are the best way to conduct one's life.

Great souls like Dr.A.P.J. Abdul Kalam have lived among the present generation to not only demonstrate how to conduct our lives but also to indicate that changes that happens around the world doesn't have to change our conduct or character. One has to synchronize thoughts, words and actions which is why he kept saying one had to dream, say the right things and keep improving one's performance relentlessly.

We are like a prescription refill that last until the date of expiry only difference being our expiry is coded in a fashion that is not visible to the naked eye. We are all resident card holders only for a period willed by the divine and never a citizen of this planet earth. While we are visiting, let us admire the design and quality of the nature, help other beings around us and share our knowledge and experience to gain wisdom that would help us find our source. Our objective is to reduce the baggage for our journey so that our journey will be smoother. We will alight when the time is right after bidding goodbye to the fellow passengers without any regret. During the month of December-January, some people go around singing praise of the divinity. If you notice them carefully, their bhavam would synchronize with Tambura they play to create raga and cymbals they use to create tala. It is symbolic representation of conducting our life that would be appreciated by the divine, accept the life to the tune of the rage and achieve equanimity between pleasure and pain.

The life is like a river that runs between the banks called pleasure and pain. The river should stay its course towards the ocean of love and should never get indulged in either side of the bank as the goal is to reach the ocean.

Thank you for your invaluable input.

Viswa

Viswamitra · Sep 7, 2015

Dear Vijiakka,

Your quote in the second post is invaluable. Life itself is a grace or an opportunity given by the divine to correct the baggage we have already accumulated. The experiences are customized for our requirement to learn something out of it and we can't afford to flounder them without taking the lessons out of them. If we can leave with less baggage (encryption) when we leave, we have achieved our purpose.

It is always startling to see humanity not having any value for the words expressed by them. Our words should be considered as invaluable assets and only when it is used sparingly and eloquently, they command respect. What we say had to be Sathya and our words had to be considered as precious wealth. Instead, humanity has the tendency to preserve and protect the material wealth as their belongings.

Today, I was listening to the discourse given by my Guru and He eloquently presented the possessions that contaminates the life of humanity as Ego (Ahankara), Anger (Krodha), Desire (Moha) and Greed (Lobha). He also articulated that they are not the real qualities of anyone and they are all acquired evil qualities. He also explained how important it is to lead a life that is ideal for the well-being of Self and also for the society. He explained freedom as Swa-dhandra meaning the reverence we have for the divinity residing in us. Satsangs and the company of good people, good thoughts, good communication and good actions help us to purify our heart.

You are too kind and out of love for your younger brother, you have mentioned that I am a nice person and my shortcomings are the ones I always focus on and work hard to try and eradicate them. My external consciousness is my wife who points out all my shortcomings pretty quickly. I agree with you in working hard to reconcile with friends and relatives. We are here in the earth only for a few years and why we have differences and hostility towards the fellow beings? I know you and your husband lead an exemplary life and you are both role models for many like me to keep ego on check. As I mentioned earlier many times, your husband is a Yogi and he would never have another life for his dedication to serve the fellow being. That is the highest form of wisdom i.e. to see Self in others.

Seeing from the shoes of others is an important trait everyone should possess and once we develop that practice, our life changes forever. Thank you for invaluable response, as always.

Viswa