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global economics demystified

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by vidyasundar, Oct 28, 2007.

  1. vidyasundar

    vidyasundar Bronze IL'ite

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    GLOBAL ECONOMICS DEMYSTIFIED

    >SOCIALISM:
    >You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.

    >COMMUNISM:
    >You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

    >FASCISM:
    >You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

    >NAZISM:
    >You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

    >BUREAUCRATISM:
    >You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the
    >other and throws the milk away...

    >TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
    >You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies,
    >and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

    >AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
    >You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the
    >milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow
    >dropped dead.

    >A FRENCH CORPORATION:
    >You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    >A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
    >You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of
    >an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a
    >clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.

    >A GERMAN CORPORATION:
    >You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
    >once amonth, and milk themselves.

    >A BRITISH CORPORATION:
    >You have two cows. Both are mad.

    >AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
    >You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break
    for
    >lunch.

    >A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
    >You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You
    >count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and
    >learn you have 2 cows.
    >You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    >A SWISS CORPORATION:
    >You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for
    >storing them.

    >A CHINESE CORPORATION:
    >You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full
    >employment,
    >high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the
    >numbers.

    >AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION:
    >You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute...

    >AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
    >You have two cows. You worship them and die of hunger.

    >A PAKISTANI CORPORATION
    >You have two cow's. You eat one for lunch and one for dinner,
    then
    >blame India for lack of cows

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