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getting married twice

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by ruthikaa, Oct 19, 2007.

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  1. ruthikaa

    ruthikaa New IL'ite

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    Hi ,

    I am in a very confused state now and need help and advise, I and my husband were in love and it was accepted only by my family, we tried to convince my in laws alot and they didn't give in, and my parents were tired of waiting and they told me according to astrology i should get married soon, so my husband agreed to marry me and we did the wedding the traditional way , his family doesn't know about it at all. Now they are coming back they want to have a wedding in India but my parents say that it cant happen as he shoudln't tie the thali twice and my husband and I are confused what to do. If we tell the truth we will ruin our relationship with my In laws for ever, if we dont my parents are not agreeing to it. what shoudl we do??
     
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  2. naazneen

    naazneen Junior IL'ite

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    Hey there!,
    I would speak to a punditji. Explain the situation to him and ask him if there is a way out of this "rituals dillemma". Gather as much information as you can, then speak to your parents(as they seem to be the more adjusting type). Also don't discount your in-laws reaction. Maybe they will adjust too? the very fact that they have opened up to your relationship shows that they are open to change. A wise person once told me there are 2 times in a married womens life that people around her are open to adjustment, once at the time of marriage and secondly right after the birth of a child. All the best.
    ~ N
     
  3. ruthikaa

    ruthikaa New IL'ite

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    HI

    Thanks a lot, that would be of great help to us, am trying to get in touch with some astrologers too. My husband went out of his way to keep and my parents happy its now my turn to make sure his relation with his parents is safe. Thanks again.

    Regards

    Ruthikaa
     
  4. march2901

    march2901 New IL'ite

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    I was in a similar situation as you, only it was my parents that did not agree first. Later, when they came around we had another wedding, yes he tied Thali twice. The difference here is our first wedding was just for records and lived in two different continents after that!!! If getting married one more time pleases your in-laws, i think it is worth it.
     
  5. rekarrajan

    rekarrajan New IL'ite

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    There is nothing wrong in getting married thrice. My brother married a muslim girl twice i.e. Once in an Iyengar style and the other one in a Muslim style and another a register marriage. They are really doing good. So, leave out all ur fears and go ahead. Good Luck.
     
  6. maggi99

    maggi99 Senior IL'ite

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    The pain when ur inlaws get to know that their son got married some time ago and they did not know is really bad. Its like parents feeling that their son ditched them.

    So no great deal in marrying for the second time, after all its their son and would like to see their sons marriage in a traditional way.

    Might be a temple wedding and a grand reception. Handle it wisely than taking too many opinions of parents.
     
  7. maggi99

    maggi99 Senior IL'ite

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    well after posting my reply i see that the post is old... 2 yrs old huhhh
     
  8. Nandshyam

    Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

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    trust me in our culture there is always some pariharam for such stuff.. ;) our ancestors are smart in a way !!

    So find out what can be done.. more important is your relationship and his with his parents.. make sure that is not ruined due to some man-made beliefs !!!

    good luck !!
     
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