getting depressed and confused...plz help

mysti · Jul 16, 2015

Its been a very depressing state i m facing now, from past Four years.Sometimes i cry a lot and now-a-days i feel numb as if my mind nd heart had stop working.

We had an arranged marriage and blessed with kid soon after marriage, we both are working parents. my marriage has its own up & downs. Bt after my two forced abortions i had never been able to bounce back to my joyful & healthy life. (I was very joyful by nature(before marriage), coz my DH didnt want another child. I somehow manage jus bcoz of my kid as i dont want to ruin her future & dont want to bother my parents(my parents know the real picture bt bcoz of society & their old age they cant support me, however they stand by me, nd kept me motivated).

I still have a wish for another baby and seeing my condition my DH now agreed to have one, TTC is in progress bt no positive results as of now.I m focusing on my job nd family bt still a wish for another baby troubles me(even my DD also want a sibling, she kept on insisting).I m losing my interest in job and to counter that i hav been looking for means to change my job or my career line and trying for dat, hoping dat change may bring something gud.

Now when ever i hear news of someone being blessed with baby, i feel a deep pain inside me which i cant explain, jus my numbness... or tears flows.... i hav been losing interest in everythg i hav, be it job, family, flourshing career...everythg.

I dont 9 how to overcome it....plz help....looking for valuable suggestions....
Sorry for the long post....

raji2678 · Jul 16, 2015

You are bearing the consequences of your own sins...Please visit the TTC forums and pray for others, who are longing for one child. Feel happy that you have a DD.. Also you can consider adoption.

Cool10 · Jul 16, 2015

Some people consider it wrong to have an abortion. But having an abortion is not a sin. its better to have an abortion (or take precautions before even the need for an abortion arises) rather than to bring an unwanted child or a child whose proper care will not be taken after birth.

A woman has full right on her body. Sometimes circumstances are such that people are forced to make such choices.

But having repeated abortions medically has an effect on the body. It becomes difficult to conceive afterwards in some cases. Also body tends to loose lots of nutrients and vitamins/iron during this process

Dear OP - you have a precious little daughter. Think about people like me who have struggled for conceiving and retaining a baby. Even one child means the world to us. I feel you are blessed and should rejoice in your child.

Regarding conceiving - please get all your tests done. Moreover stress also has an effect on conception. The more we are stressed, the more it effects our body.

Best of luck for your second child

CrayoNess · Jul 16, 2015

Abortion is not a sin but it can impact your mental health (especially if they are forced abortions, who forced you?). It would be good if you could talk with a professional about the past.

It is actually a miracle to conceive (thinking of that small egg cell finding her soul mate in the labyrint of ovaries etc). Let nature have it course as you have been able to conceive in the past so should not be an issue.

SadMarried · Jul 16, 2015

You should feel lucky you have one kid. There are so many women struggling to have one. So you should feel proud you have a baby. About forced abortion , who forced you? it must be really hard physically and emotionally.

After very difficult baby making journey , i count myself lucky i have precious little boy. I dont know if we will have more , if we do its great , if not i wont worry much as my boy is world to me , he gave me great pleasure of being mum, when i lost all my hopes.

Looks like you have supportive husband too. So now you should look after your health and to give best to your daughter.

anumuralik · Jul 17, 2015

Why do you yearn for another kid when you have a wonderful daughter? Just give all the love you have to her... This constant nagging in your mind for another kid is what makes you vulnerable.... Count yourself lucky to have a kid where nowadays there are people who are struggling to have one!! Stop thinking about kids for sometime... Have yourself some 'me' time... Change your job... Something which is not so stressful... Stress impacts your health and also fertility... Why to feel bad when someone else are having kids? You also have one!! Don't get me wrong but this constant feeling may reduce your love for your kid... In a want of more kids you are forgetting about the one you had...

Try to go the TTC forum and get some help regarding your health... Try taking help of a ob/gyn for you fertility issues... Keep yourself happy and content with what you had... Who knows you may be blessed with one!! God luck!! Keep loving and smiling!!

hopefullylucky · Jul 17, 2015

Why r u so sad. There is nothing wrong with you. Your husband didn't wanted the child, so u didn't took it tat time, reasons could be anything... Financially or even maybe to take care of ur daughter. Be happy, u have a considerate husband. And always remember, things happen when the time is right for it. So, don't worry about conceiving immediately. Follow the date schedule for TTC, but don't strain urself over it.
Be happy...u have a lot to count. There r still many ppl out there...who don't have a single child n struggling to have one, there r many ppl who do not have a job, there r many ppl at a age nearing to end of productive years that too without a child and wanting a child at the same time facing a divorce.
Grass always looks greener on the other side. So, don't think u have done any sin or something. U already brought a life to this world. U r a living God to ur daughter, so stay blessed and enjoy ur life. Go out for a travel, a trip u always wanted. Because once the new one arrives, u'll be again stuck with it. Cheers for life!! hugsmiley