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General Chat And Banter

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by Greenbay, Nov 13, 2019.

  1. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    I really hope you outgrow your victim mentality and not use your struggles as a tool to make your point.


     
    ragzz likes this.
  2. kkrish

    kkrish Finest Post Winner

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    No worries @Greenbay .
    Again, disagreements do not mean disrespect.

    So many folks disagree with me also on so many issues.

    It was out of respect for your request to give SGBV the benefit of the doubt, that i responded to her post with much restraint. How much restraint, no one knows except me. Being a only child it was painful to read her words.

    That said, I dont hold you in contempt or even SGBV for that matter.
    You are both young parents, and time and life being the best teachers, you will think differently in a few years from today.

    You mentioned your struggles. I had my set of lemons that life threw at me, just different because i am a female.

    We will surely move on... see you in other threads.
    Be happy.
     
  3. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

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    Education has nothing to do with good manners. It’s not right that your siblings don’t get time with your babies because of your wife’s mom. It’s not thoughtful on her part to spend an entire month of vacation at her mom’s when she knows very well that her SILs aren’t treated well there and they are the only family you have left. It’s important for children to have relationships with their dad’s family members too. They are too young now but for future vacations you should go spend time in the aunts’ homes. When they are older, your wife can choose to stay at her place while you take the kids to visit your sisters.
     
    kkrish, Roar, Sunshine04 and 5 others like this.
  4. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    Ours is not only interstate marriage but her family was way above our league when we married but too bad we had fallen in love already, she was too timid to break up when her family realized status differences :) . My wife is a very kind hearted person in her family and different from her immediate family but mother’s constant influence can rub a person in wrong way occasionally. Wife had good relationship with my sisters in the initial years but our constant struggle to have an offspring had made her lose that tenderness over years. They still talk with each other but more to keep the relationship than love and care. My sisters are very feisty too ( you can see that trait in my personality j/k) . Adding another layer of complexity is I/ my sisters are all atheists which doesn’t go well with very religious my wife and her family. She used to be rational but her struggles turned her into a believer over the years and shows no sign of slowing down even after we had healthy twins . So she is fine if sisters come to see us than we as a family going to spend time with my sisters or other option is I go solo. Anyway, I think I will try to convince them to come this one time and resort is a very good idea ( all who suggested, thank you). I think they might agree to this idea than putting them in hotel in Chennai.
     
    Laks09, Sunshine04 and BhumiBabe like this.
  5. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Like minded people like each others post, and those who disagree either stay away (because there is no unlike button) or quote/comment their disagreement in response.
    In a community where thousands of members actively participate, a few likes (less than 10 or so) doesn't make any judgement as such.

    Matured people chose to agree to disagree.
     
  6. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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  7. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Brother,

    Why are you taking so much effort to support me here? I don't need anyone's pardon. Period.

    What benefit of doubt?
    I stated what I felt, and some people liked it, some people did not like it.
    You can't please everyone, and it is not necessary either.
    I know that my intention is not to hurt anyone. So I left it at that!!!

    In this faceless forum, there may be people who have no better work than finding faults on others. Such people would gang up together, and bash their prey.
    I or you or someone else may fall prey to them once or twice or many times. But who cares!!!

    There are plenty of genuine souls, who agree to disagree respectfully and take efforts to aware me on things that I am not clear/familiar with. Respect them!!!
    We don't know everything, but evolve with experience.
    What matters is who sustain and survive here.

    I have always been brutally honest in this forum; hence been criticized by many.
    Nevertheless, I am successful here with many finest post awards, and trophy points under my name, and considered by many as a valuable contributor to this forum. That matters.
    But those who have attacked me then and there disappeared, and emerged back with new avatar only to stalk me or someone else.
    It is their problem, not yours! Not mine either!
    As long as you are clear on what you state, and if that is appropriate as per the forum's etiquette (Mod's are here to look after that), it should be fine.
    Be open, be vigilant, but don't bend over backward to please everyone.

    Don't drag this matter again and again!
     
  8. Greenbay

    Greenbay Gold IL'ite

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    I really hope @SGBV apologizes to assuage your hurt feelings. Her words hurt you inadvertently. So no shame in apologizing in my view. And she might disagree, that is her prerogative.
    Absolutely. Sharing my struggle doesn’t mean you or others had their lives easy. If some interpret it as victim mentality, they cannot be more wrong. It is my way to narrate my experiences. They can share theirs. Compared to so many, I am very fortunate. Had a mother who enforced us to study, encouraged us to aim beyond our means. Plus I entered my field at right moment and at right place , so luck played a major role as many do not see fruits of their labor even with sincere effort. So I am very lucky in that front. Plus I am married to a college professor which is recession proof job :)
    Move on yes. Seeing in other threads, No mam. This will be the only thread I will participate from now on other than nominating fine posts. 5 people who reported my posts and try to get me banned don’t have to take that trouble any more. I will be happy to chime here on topics I care and all others are welcome. But if admin of this forum do decide to remove me, no regrets, I will walk away.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2019
  9. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    Dislike button would tear up people so we are better without it.
    Did you notice that you had not answered the actual question of the OP 'How do YOU entertain...' I think the question was more about what parents can do to make their kid(s) holidays pleasant,may be 1 may be 100... you could have easily chosen to answer it better...
     
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  10. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    Greenbay,

    This is the second time in this thread that you use things like ' I will go away if you want me to' ' I will not participate much from now'...its passive aggressive and people start not to care about these eventually...
    I have no intention to argue , please dont take it the other way...but just stating what I noticed.
     
    kkrish likes this.

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