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Gave Up Being In Touch

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by preeti6years, Aug 10, 2022.

  1. preeti6years

    preeti6years Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,

    Offlate I have stopped calling or messaging some of my friends relatives. The reason is I was the only one trying to hold the strings. Meaning, its only me who would call them or message them. There is would no courtesy calls or messages from their side. Not even once. When I call them they would say " I was just thinking of calling you". Sad part is even of my close friends are doing this. I was always with feeling that being in touch and enquiring about each others well being is quite important. But now I started getting a weird feeling that I am the only one craving for the relationship and not the other person.
    Hence I thought let me take a break.
    Am I doing right?
     
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  2. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    I too often get into that boat which includes bosom friends and bed-fellows. I do not call but send a simple message that contains only either question symbol or exclamation symbol.
    And then they come on line and just I love them to short question to which they have to give long reply. I love them to speak for long some time. It could be at times therapeutic!
    What you do in a way is correct. If aim is to keep enlarging your circle of friends for getting useful contacts, one must ignore whether other is shy of. Friendship afterall costs not much but in the long run pays huge dividends.
    Regards.
    God Bless.
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2022
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  3. svpriya

    svpriya Silver IL'ite

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    @preeti6years You are right...in the recent days me too felt the same and thinking of to stop calling and messaging my friends for sometime... I am the one always used to call or message them first...even my close friends call me only if they need something from me and it really hurts...
     
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  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    The alert for my message of 11th aug has arrived today the 18th Aug. Admin in IL must be working hard!
    Thanks to @umaakumar
    For clicking like to my
    Comments here.
    Some friends and relatives by nature reserved or shy to call and or talk. Some wonders what is there to talk except the same grind.
    Some have knack to open easily with others and drags them to conversation or confabulation boring or interesting or intriguing. Life is like that.
    Regards to @umaakumar &
    @svpriya
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2022
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  5. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    When BSNL INTRODUCED free calls on sundays from 6 am to next day 6 am, I used to get in touch with my numerous friends and relatives spread out in various corners of Bharat. With advent of reliance jio limitless calls, bsnl phones land lines surrendered. Sometimes it is interesting to see pals in video of guard! You know what I mean! Persons supposed to be on field duty tg heir boss call them Audi first and then call in video from a different phone. Those employees who bluff from home or in cinema that they are busy with a distributor or in market area used to easily get caught and eat their lies.
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2022
  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @preeti6years,

    Your friends and relatives circle is more sophisticated and at least they are saying, "I was thinking about you". My relatives ask me, "Now only you found a way to call me?" a sign of entitlement. With WhatsApp and many other applications are available to make free calls but they always expect me to call.

    I don't like to be on a call for a long time and don't like when it is a question and answer session. I call elders in my family to generally inquire about their health. I am always brief in my calls but when they complain I don't call often, it frustrates me. Why call and give an opportunity for them to find fault with me?

    I was calling my mother every weekend as long as she lived and sometimes more than once to inquire about her health. After that, now my mother's sisters, brothers and everyone else expect me to call them regularly and claim they feel lonely if I don't call them often. What about their children why won't they complain to their children?
     
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  7. preeti6years

    preeti6years Silver IL'ite

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    Well from relatives side, there is my cosister (dh cousin wife), who does this. My side relations I speak only with one of my cousins over phone regularly and rest of them we are fine to talk when we meet in person.
    Friends I have my classmates, colleagues from previous organizations etc. I have only few friends with whom I am connected emotionally and hence I had been calling them this long on myself.
    But this weird feeling is killing me these days. The moment I stopped calling them, nobody even bothered to call back.
    Means to say I was the only one who wanted to be connected.
    Unlike olden days we even have whatsapp now to drop a single liner to check how am I doing. People don't have time or not willing to do even that
     
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