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Gave It Back - Emotionally Manipulative Mil

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by AAPriya, Nov 11, 2017.

  1. AAPriya

    AAPriya Bronze IL'ite

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    I don't know if me speaking logically and avoid emotions will still work going forward but my MIL, the emotionally manipulative lady she is (and that I have understood very recently - took me a while - initally fell for her, oh you are like my daughter), decided to use her weapon "tumhe meri beti jaise dekti hoon, aise kaise soch liya tu" in an emotional tone. And I replied to her back logically saying well, take a neutral example. Here's a company with a CEO and he says he will do good things for the employee. But every policy he implements is against the employee. So what will the employee think? That the CEO said he will do good and so the bad policy is actually good? She fell silent.

    We had some other discussion through mobile messages and then she said can you call. I said if you want to speak logically am willing to call, listen and respond. If you are going to be emotional then no because misunderstandings don't get resolved with emotional sentences. So she started replying to my messages.

    I don't know where this is going. But I'm not going to let this lady emotionally manipulate me anymore. In fact I told her, if she wants to share the entire conversation with her son I don't mind. I didn't say anything wrong. And that only the almighty knows what goes on in each person's mind, who acted in line with dharam and will settle accounts accordingly. Actually, she started replying only after I sent her the previous sentence. This lady has been harassing me since last Friday, pin pointing my behaviour. I had lost my sleep for a week and had started losing my appetite since yesterday. Her behaviour has spoilt my peace of mind and has made me lose focus on my work. So I resolved to not let that happen anymore today morning. Am just not going to put up with this nonsense anymore.

    I don't keep anything from my husband. previously, I used to tell him everything but I have come to realize it's difficult for him to listen about his parents just the way it is difficult for me to listen about my parents from my in-laws who by the way still leave no opportunity unused to criticize my parents. Even if I call to ask how they are doing, they will say something or the other about my parents. Last Friday was the last I will take any nonsense from this lady and her husband. And then she has the nerve to say that she treats me like a daughter. in which universe does a mother treat a daugther like this, I have no idea. Not even in a blackhole is my guess. Anyways, so I now only say to my husband, I talked to your mother, it wasn't good. And then I change the topic. He's fine with it and we get on with our work. I'm not going to let this lady and her husband affect my married life. To hell, with these two.
     
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  2. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    You took the bull by the horns and are now riding it ! More power to you !
    P.S Hopefully the “lady and her husband bull “ stop seeing red . If they do, don’t drag the bull fight. Be firm but not confrontational.
     
    AAPriya likes this.
  3. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    An excellent resolve! Too often young couples let in-law politics take over their lives. I'm glad you've made a conscious decision to fight your own battles with your ILs while nurturing your relationship with your DH. :thumbsup:
    .
     
    Sandycandy, Dishaa, sindmani and 2 others like this.
  4. Sangeeta85

    Sangeeta85 Gold IL'ite

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    Ohh I wish I had 10% of ur boldness n gutsy I would conquer my mil too..
    Good for sure u can balance the peace at home now ..you go gal✋️
     
    Sandycandy, AAPriya and Dishaa like this.
  5. September2015

    September2015 Bronze IL'ite

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    At last a success story! I will use this analogy. LOL

     
    AAPriya likes this.

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