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Gabfest: And Thereby Hangs A Tail

Discussion in 'Education & Personal Growth' started by Cimorene, Jan 9, 2017.

  1. Kohvachn

    Kohvachn Bronze IL'ite

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    It is, suits my mood. Added to my slow-dance-wine-night playlist. We should share our Spotify lists. Btw, I wouldn't have guessed this is Urdu, feels a lot like Hindi. :relaxed: Thank you.

    Nnnnow questions. :p

    Isn't this filmy love, well, filmy much? :sweatsmile: Often I wonder if "true love" exists at all. What is even true love? And as projected in desi movies, is it really "one life and one true love"? I'm not talking about the real-life scenarios where u marry the one you loved (ahem), not the hyper cliche Laila Majnu tragedy types either... Something that was mutual only life had different plans and you part ways, move on, even end up marrying some else, falling in love all over again, etc etc...yet deep down memories stay fresh, still cherishing that first love? It's for real? I don't know, I'm partly convinced yes, partly not.

    And, what if you get to meet someone new again in your life who is all that ur "one life, one true love" is, with same personality traits you fell for your lover/husband in the first place?

    Do I even make sense? :grazy:
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2019
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  2. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    That's because Hindi and Urdu share a large fraction of their vocabularies. About a third of Urdu words are of Sanskrit origin assimilated via Hindi while the rest come from Persian. Most Hindi speakers don't speak the heavily Sanskrit-ized Hindi one hears on the AIR Vividh Bharati service. The lingua franca of Northern India is a blend of Hindi and Urdu that some consider a dialect of Hindi called Hindustani.

    Are you sure that's wine you're drinking? :lol: 'Slow-dance-wine-night' sure triggers some serious rumination! I suppose I lean towards the 'no such thing as a one true love' school of thought. The fact that people can and do find happiness even after the passing of a beloved spouse is proof enough that love is not a once in a lifetime deal. The idea of soulmates was probably thought up by some marketing genius at Disney. In a world with 7.7 billion people, you'd think there would be at least a dozen Mr or Ms Rights for each of us, no?

    Remember this? : ) (Teenage glory days!)



    Is it the person or the heady feeling of young love that one yearns for? I'd say it's the latter. Like the first high from a drug; nothing matches that first hit, does it? Speaking strictly theoretically of course. ; ) Carefree youth mixed with intense never-felt-before emotions is a potent blend — hard to recreate. Mr First-Love would probably not seem as charming once he'd had to do the dishes, take the trash out and read to the kids before he plonked on the bed with his mouth open, and drooled a little puddle on the pillow. I speak from experience. :D

    You think I haven't? The industry I work in is littered with brilliant, successful, type A men with stellar educational backgrounds — exactly what attracted me to my husband. : ) It is hard not to find oneself in thrall to someone once in a blue moon. But how many such prince charmings will you chase before you realize that the feelings don't last. The initial intensity wanes over time even if it were George Clooney on the other side.

    As our beloved Viji aunty (@iyerviji ) reminds us every so often, a happy marriage does not require being in a constant state of euphoric love. In the end it is simply a choice to commit to someone who makes you reasonably happy. Romantic love waxes and wanes. Though it doesn't mesh with our ideas of happily ever after, a fair amount of making a marriage work involves persisting through the dull and difficult times. As long as there is general compatibility and mutual regard, love can always be recreated. I adore this quote by Ursula Le Guin,

    “Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.”

    Love is as much a decision as it is a feeling. The first rush of love brings two people together and ties them into a shared existence, but to make it last they have to commit to it. Some days you will be overwhelmed by the love you feel, but on the days you don't, you have to consciously choose to love. There will always be another woman out there who would make my husband happier than I do; the same is true for me. I could chase the shiny new thing that makes my heart flutter or I could find contentment in the predictable yet comforting security of my marriage. A lasting marriage means waking up and making this choice every single day for the rest of your life. So no matter how many perfect men walk into my cubicle, or my life— I will look but I will not covet : )— because I choose this imperfectly happy life I have.
     
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  3. Kohvachn

    Kohvachn Bronze IL'ite

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    You know...while that (first/ex) relationship lasted they were your world and meant everything to you, and you made that choice to love that person every damn day (just like you say) until it felt not so anymore. From that experience, I had say it's more about the person. : )

    He has his heartbroken by first love, locks himself in a magic bubble that would shield him from pain and hurt. One fine day true love version 2.0 walks in, his bubble breaks and it's a 'happily ever after' of course! The animation kinda reflects the lives of the other side of the world who have found true love just more than once! ; )) Sweetly done and narrated, a lot close to home and reality than what mainstream moviemakers may shove down our throats! Having said that...
    Yay! It's a Hallmark time of the year! :hearteyes::tonguewink: Watched any?
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2019
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  4. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I love those cheesy holiday movies! So corny but so addictive. : ) I have a sweatshirt that says, "I just wanna bake cookies and watch Christmas movies" Summarizes my holiday mood. These days I get back from work, and turn on Hallmark or Lifetime while going about dinner prep. Even Netflix has a growing collection. My son makes fun of me, "Mommy she's going to go to her parents village and get caught in a blizzard. Then meet a chef/carpenter who used to work on Wall Street but quit it to follow his heart. Everyone will say Merry Christmas and decorate a tree. The End." Lol! Bugger rolls his eyes but watches them with me. Half the fun is seeing him groan and go 'ew, ew' when the romantic scenes come on. :lol: If you've seen one you've seen them all but who's watching for the plot. They're the perfect escape.
     
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  5. Kohvachn

    Kohvachn Bronze IL'ite

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    Sweet. As long as there is good chemistry between the lead pairs, I don't mind the cliches. Have a few all-time favorites that I rewatch whenever. Even better if they start off as frenemies. :tongueout: I don't know, I'm always drawn to such plots mostly. Maybe the preference comes from all the "will they-won't they" shippings I do. Speaking of which, have one on going IL- OTP too! Hehe! :grin:

    Heard there was a recent comic-con type event for Hallmark movie fans? I don't know what to think of that, a cool hang out space or just another Christmas marketing "con" con. If Santa was real, he had be super-rich I guess just from the royalties only. Would that make him a capitalist? :sweatsmile:
    Xmas rom coms are like methi daal if you know what I mean. :wink1: Enjoy the warmth and mood. Happy Holidays. :beer-toast1:
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2019
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  6. Kohvachn

    Kohvachn Bronze IL'ite

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    That just brought to mind a recent #fffound:



    "Music And Poetry Of The Kesh"- an album mix of folk songs and short poems, recorded by ULG with a collaborator to accompany her novel - "Always Coming Home". The story behind the album got me curious to give a listen. More background info: In the ’80s, Ursula K. Le Guin & Todd Barton Recorded an Imaginary Civilization.

    Instrumental, Slow and somber (maybe to suit the tone of her novel) but good in the ears (for me). Also on Spotify, if you are interested in some utopian music! :wink1:
     
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  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Golden words of wisdom that can be applicable to people of all ages. In fact, your entire post gives some deep insight into the life that one could lead with rigor and discipline made internally. Understanding love transcends imperfection is the key. Life involves some feeling of togetherness and some decision to understand each other. Loving a person involves sharing, caring and acceptance. The whole life revolves around coming to the constant called "love" like deriving the value of X in mathematics. People involved do their part to solve a puzzle called "love". Everyone never saturates with great sense of fulfillment as there is always scope for improvement. Having born out of love and sustained in love, our goal is to leave this world loved by everyone around us.
     
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  8. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Not really a puzzle Viswa. The prescription for love is as simple as can be.

    स्वस्मै स्वल्पं समाजाय सर्वस्वं।
    (A little for yourself and everything for others.)

    Aren't we happiest making others happy, even if it is doing everyday things for our families? Your work at the hospice is the perfect example of selfless love, perhaps even at cost to self considering the mental strain from being surrounded by suffering. I was sorry to see the thread closed. Thanks to that thread I accidentally discovered something I needed but didn't know existed. I wanted to share this on the thread but didn't get the opportunity. While browsing the thread I saw an advertisement for Better Place Forests. It is a service that allows a family to pick a tree in permanently protected forest groves, and when the time comes scatter the ashes of their loved ones underneath the tree. The tree will be protected under the family's name permanently. Such a lovely sustainable way of leaving a legacy — not only do you protect a forest forever, you become part of its ecosystem. I had already decided a while back that I wanted my ashes scattered in a redwood grove. I was thrilled to see that not only can I do that officially, I also get to have a tree of my own! Found an interesting article about these type of services, and future technologies that could allow us to make our passing as green as possible: A California Startup Is Using Ashes to Protect Forests I do plan to wait and watch because one never knows with startups but the possibilities are exciting.
     
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  9. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    May be I used a wrong name by calling love as puzzle. What I meant was love’s full dimension is only explored by human beings and never understood fully. You are right. More we love, more it manifests and happier we feel. It is infinite, immeasurable and borderless.

    I love that idea to have a tree dedicated for everyone of us. I have marked up link to read it again.
     
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  10. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Perfect music to play in the background while working. Didn't know she did music too. Thanks for sharing it. Like Tolkien, ULG created intricate worlds with completely fleshed out cultures and languages. And for his part Tolkien did music too. He wrote a bunch of songs for LOTR and even recorded them in his voice. I recently discovered a New Zealand based group called Clamavi De Profundis, all members of one family, that record cover versions of Tolkien's songs. Some of their songs are simply out of this world. My favorite is this version of Misty Mountains from the Hobbit. I love hearing my husband hum it while shaving in the mornings. : )

     
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