Funny lines

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Saideeps, Oct 24, 2008.

  1. Saideeps

    Saideeps Bronze IL'ite

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    3 Easy Ways to Die :


    Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.

    Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.

    Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.



    1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that ..............

    she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.




    2.. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :

    Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD

    After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY


    3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :

    1. Tele-Phone

    2. Tele-Vision

    3. Tell to Woman

    Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE..


    4.. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.


    6.. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.


    They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.

    Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.

    Ant 2 says :
    No, Let us break his Leg alone.

    Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path..

    Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.



    7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.

    If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.



    8.. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.


    Answer : On their MARRIAGE.



    9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.


    Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.



    10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.

    Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.
     
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