1. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Funny lines

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Saideeps, Oct 24, 2008.

  1. Saideeps

    Saideeps Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    149
    Likes Received:
    43
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Female

    3 Easy Ways to Die :


    Take a Cigar daily - You will die 10 years early.

    Drink Rum daily - You will die 30 years early.

    Love Someone Truly - You will die daily.



    1. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that ..............

    she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.




    2.. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :

    Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD

    After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY


    3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :

    1. Tele-Phone

    2. Tele-Vision

    3. Tell to Woman

    Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE..


    4.. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.


    6.. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.


    They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.

    Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.

    Ant 2 says :
    No, Let us break his Leg alone.

    Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path..

    Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.



    7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.

    If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.



    8.. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.


    Answer : On their MARRIAGE.



    9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.


    Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.



    10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.

    Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.
     
    Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. Kamalji
      Replies:
      9
      Views:
      955
    2. smith21181
      Replies:
      1
      Views:
      823
    3. Reenae
      Replies:
      0
      Views:
      832

Share This Page