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Fuming Today....:(

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Jan 2, 2020.

  1. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    I was able to land a job which is two full days per week.The timings are 9 to 5.salary is $10 per hour.My commute with traffic will be 35 minutes to and fro.I asked my husband if he could commit to working from home so that he can help with kids and evening activities.He not only said a firm NO but had a big fight first thing in the morning.He said he cannot commit to that,his timings and job stress plus he feels before/aftercare is a waste of money for this salary.Plus my kids activities will be disturbed.He started saying that I have to forget what the world thinks and start to live etc etc..but honestly,as much as I try..it is so tough when am questioned time and again as to why am a homemaker when others are doing it.


    He literally yelled and said”Shut up!I have always been nice to you but for you, our priorities meaning nothing.Do not talk about your job with me”.He is basically a very nice guy and always treated me so well and respectful.He seemed very upset and am irritated with myself for starting this 2nd day of a new year.


    It is taking a toll on me these days which I admit.I wish I had studied,been in IT and earned well so that the beforecare/aftercare and nanny help would never been a problem.

    It is so frustrating when am not able to find help.My In-laws will not help.My mom has her own problems.My husband will not help me.How the heck do it work this out??

    In my community,only myself and two other ladies are not working.One of the recently moved neighbor has a kid who is one year younger to mine and she has been asking me to drop her son from bus stop coz she can avoid morning daycare.To top it..she was like “you are a housewife only na..you have time.you can help right?”..

    I am fuming today.Sorry guys..day didn’t start in a good note.
     
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  2. googleearth

    googleearth Silver IL'ite

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    I know this job looks lucrative and you want to try it out but I have a suggestion since you have so much fire in you look for a part time job between your kids schedule so when they are in school you can work. Dont give up my friend keep on looking instead of 16 hrs in 2 days do 4 hrs in 4 days.
    Dont want to be nosy but what job is this? May be the whole indus lady community can help you find a new part time job I see most of them are in US and might have connections.
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2020
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  3. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    I asked them for timings between 9 .30 to3.30.My kid leaves to school by 8.50 and I need atleast 25 to 30 minutes to go to office. Similarly by 3.55 I need to be on the bus stop which means I have to leave by 3.15.

    the staffing agencies told me they don’t have timings like I wanted.:(

    I asked some ladies who work with meagre salary and they told me “husband works from home”
    Or “Family is there”..

    For me no one is helping:(
     
  4. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Can understand your frustration...
    Your job and your neighbour are 2 different issues...
    Neighbour- tell her that " sorry, though I'm a housewife I'm extremely busy.. I work from home and for my home...I would help if I could "
    Job- see maybe your husband is not actually against u going for work..but is really not able to commit to devoting 2 days every week due to his nature of work...maybe he really doesn't have the freedom and flexibility to do so...due to increase job responsibilities and high work pressure...
    Will give u example..I'm living india and sahm as u already know...my hubby too has a very hectic and stressful job with no fixed work hours..he may come home somedays at 11 pm also...weekdays also sometimes they ll call from office for critical issue....suddenly he has to travel to other location.. .if I were to ask him same thing I.e if he can come home early 2 days every week he will have to say no..only for emergencies like illness I can request for little adjustment...
    But what to do...I also want to earn and come up in life ..
    On the other hand my friend joined work recently.. she finished cooking and household works with help of maid and leaves for office by 8 or 8.30 am...her husband drops the kid to work by 9 am everyday, then picks up from day care at 6pm..then he works from home and manages kid simultaneously....my friend reaches home by 8 pm and then takes over..friend's H has a very flexible job, with flexi timings and wfh... his office is walking distance from his home which are advantages for him..should I feel envious of her? Do I feel envious of her? Very rarely.. mostly I dont..
     
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  5. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Have u done any IT related certification? Is that a possiblity to do it in some community college first instead of going for work immediately?
     
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  6. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    My husband is never against me going for a job but he wants to me to atleast wait till my kid reaches middle school as she can take better care of herself and she is older..

    until then I have to suck it up and be happy..
     
  7. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    First try to move the after school activity schedules to other days and try to find a before and after school care in your community or ask other homemaker moms if they could provide care for a payment. It should not cost that much.

    neighbor — nip it at the bud , say it is not possible for you ...
     
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  8. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    I have done courses in community colleges and also some other stuff.
    The pay is very low since my gap is long.Thats how it will be.

    After few years things might change.
     
  9. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    One of The problem is..hubby says he does not want to afford the before and after care fees wherever it is.he is mighty irritated about this.
     
  10. anitalovesyou

    anitalovesyou Silver IL'ite

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    Congratulations !
    Your husband’s attitude can be either he is very practical, and cannot give you two days. Or he is happy with this arrangement of a housewife at home, taking care of kids.
    You have to think, plan, and work this out very seriously ! Think about all the pros and cons, and then decide.
    And yes, your neighbor friend, tell her you are a full time employee in a company called HOME.
     

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