Hi Ladies, This is more like a vent. I lost hope in everything so no hope that any suggestion or advice would make any change in my life. Sorry for being so negative. About me - I don’t have good bonding with parents and it’s been 4 years since we spoke to them. Gone through a lot of abuse and lack of love from my mother esp. This has some impact in me and made me a bit insecure and also long for love. After settling all my duties and depts got married at 28. I really fell in love with my husband and was really happy to marry him. But things were not same. He seems to be very tough and mammas boy. Initial years were so difficult as he didnt really accept me I could feel. For ex he would buy Sarees, gifts for his mom n sis in front of me but wouldn’t buy me anything. He earns very well and settled too. I have been working even after marriage after few months of struggle to find job in foreign land. He bought a big house and expensive furnitures for us. Would take to good holidays to five star resorts. But still wouldn’t let me do some shopping or give me any gifts. I was really down with this nature and couldn’t keep wearing same cloths I bought before marriage. It took 3 years for me to get control and start buying for me. He still buy only for his mom n sis but I go alone and buy for me. We had a baby and after baby lots of problems because of his parents, his nature and he sent me back to his parents house in India for few months. It was so difficult to spend my time there for 4 months with a new born but I had no choice. I had no where to go. My mom didn’t want me there and since then there is not even a formal call with them. Fast forward, I came back to UK and resumed work. Managed house, job, baby and his nursery runs all by myself. My husband started getting some bond with me seeing my hard work. I wouldn’t call it love but just sympathy. Our sex life has always been great. I got pregnant again accidentally and we decided to go ahead. Unfortunately in my third trimester lost my baby prince. It shocked me again. I was emotionally down and thought it’s because of my hectic life this happened. Both I and husband wanted to have another baby as we promised to have him back when he is ready. I would regularly visit his burial ground cry and beg him to come back. Then I got pregnant again in 5 months. I quit and took good care of pregnancy. My baby boy was born and is now 12 weeks. The problem here is my husbands stone like character. He never shares any happiness or anything with me. His parents have come this time and it’s really nightmare. I am taking care of them and she doesn’t do anything. I had csection and even while I was at hospital she didn’t visit or send any food to me. I couldn’t BF because of lack of food and I was so weak I couldn’t move from bed. Midwife’s told me I need to good food to recover but still no empathy from family. Husband started going for work in just one week. It’s so hard with newborn and toddler. My first boy is very attached to me that he wants only me for everything from brushing teeth to going to bed in night. It is really very exhaustive and I feel like death would be paining like this only. My husband never accompanied for any of postnatal appointments. I had to drive myself and go alone for baby vaccinations and my appointments too. My heart cries out so much that even in my third delivery I go through this kind of cruel behaviour. There are so much in my heart that I can’t write each n everything. But I just lost hope in everything. It’s been a month since we both spoke. I wake up at 5 everyday and do all chores till 10.30 and do night care for baby too. So cruel and inhuman I am just not able to accept it. I just don’t have anyone to go and take a break of few weeks and he keeps taunting me about that too. Why do woman go through such humiliations always. I trusted him and married leaving my good job, friends, country and moved to a new place. It’s so easy to say go back after spending years with me. Is this not my house too? Don’t I have equal rights to stay here? I really feel suicidal but thinking of my boys I live quietly like a maid, slave. You all might suggest or ask me many things but to tell you one thing my husband is very strange character. He wouldn’t even bother if I talk or try to make him understand anything: it’s worse than talking to rock.