frustrated ( its coming down slowly)

My sis did the same thing with her second child and the same thing happened. Both MILs fought for who should take care, and who did a great job - one set did it with servants and the other was horrified that their grandchild was taken care by servants and not the loving gp themselves. Frustration, anger, anxiety for all involved till my mom put her foot down asked my sis to come get the baby - at 8 months (she was 4 when she was shuttled to India and stayed there for 4 months after which my sis brought the baby back) my niece suffered the most..She went to India a chubby, happy baby and came back scrawny, thin, sad one...- You couldn't put her in child seat in car, you couldn't put her in high chair to eat, you couldn't make her sleep..she was angry, stubborn, crying, all the time and to this day I feel that the child is the one that suffers. We say kids that age wont remember anything - maybe she doesn't - but there is a problem in the subconscious level especially if two families fight over bringing them up. A child needs a loving environment and one stable environment not sent flying from one to another at the whim of parents/grandparents/whoever.

Parents, whatever the reason have the kids and raise them yourselves. Bring whomever and ask them to take care..but you be there for them. In the end, the child is yours, the responsibility is yours.

 

And the baby girl writes one line:

Wasnt I supposed to be with my parents....

 

Why are we even replying to this thread when OP said he is just venting it out.......:exactly:

 

To vent out too coz such things make ppls blood boil and shudnt be left uncommented in a forum like everyone is happy about the told story.

At least this story made my blood boil to be honest.

@Wildsunflower: thanks for putting the childs perspective and the impact on their developement more in the focus.

I think a lot of important things are already said so i just like to add that the view of the poor baby is coming bit to short in this conversation, this is not about two families fighting and their relationships might be disturbed this is about a baby girl whoms emotional and psychological development is disturbed what makes her the only one in the whole scene who is having high rights to complain about everything. Everyone else is growing up and has control over own actions, she does not so and is completely dependent.
What about the long term impact on her being ripped out her natural invironment, away from the persons she trusted, bonded with and loved? Think about the impact on her ability to trust and bond later on, not just with friends or YOU again but also with a future husband of her own... she is now used to be send again.. what will make her feel ever again safe and secure that the relationship wont break n she will be send away for no reason at all???
Im not saying grandparents are not important, they are, but as the term suggests - they are not the parents. OP´s grandparents might be best grandparents inthe world, but still they are NOT the parents.
Sorry this really made me furious somehow as im pregnant with a baby girl myself and there is no possible scenario i would ever in the whole wild wide world consider to give my baby away and this has nothing to do with me not trusting my family or having such a relaxed life and no responsibilities... its not the case, as its not the case for many parents, we work, we are stressed, we fight .. as our and OP´s parents did, this is our DUTY - as parents. period.

This somehow reminds me even on a friends kid whom wanted a dog as pet and then got busy with friends / school.. so mom is taking care of doggy now...

God bless that baby girl

Edit: someone mentiond that they didnt plan to slip into this situation sort of as the pregnancy happend very fast and unplanned... so please tell me then who planned it? Did the baby planned to be born to parents whom are too busy with education and loving each other to take care of her? A baby is ALWAYS innocent and its the decision of the parents to bring a life into this world, not the one of the baby - hence its their duty to do the best to take care of this innocent life - AGAIN baby didnt ask for getting born this timing it was parents choice!

 

This doesnt get out of my mind..

You have a child and refuse consequenses..

You bring child to in laws and refuse consequences.. u leave those to ur parents.. u basically leave all consequences to relatives and refuse to solve them rather u watch how they get angry with each other about YOUR responsibilities...

you post in public forum and refuse (getting angry) when ppl share their view about the situation..

for me it seems like you refuse and run away from outcomes of your actions a bit too much

 

Well said RedRuby...donno why people bring kids in this world if they can't take care of them.

 

A feel sorry for the poor child and the mom of the child. Today it is for studies...tomorrow it will be for job and better opportunities.

 

Thats exactly the problem, you hit the nail

 

It sounds a little mean, we all wasted a lot of time to read ur problem and then give suggestions, now u r mocking at us :thumbsdown