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Frnz pleasee help me to come out of this issue save my sons life

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Pavithrarajsaai, Aug 8, 2014.

  1. FreeSpirit20

    FreeSpirit20 Platinum IL'ite

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    Outrageous, a person hits you, hits your parents, throws you out of your house and yet you want to go back to them !!!
     
  2. gauridinesh

    gauridinesh Platinum IL'ite

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    Your husband and in-lwas are THUGS. Rowdies. Worse than them probably.
    I really dont know why you want to hang in there and take all the sh*T that they throw at you. You are working, independant. Tell your husband firmly that its either them or you.Else walk out. It much better to live away as a single mom than suffer like this.

    And more importantly ,finish your higher studies. A teacher's job is quite good for someone with a small baby. You dont have to worry about additional hours etc. All the best. And stay strong.
     
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  3. lazy

    lazy Silver IL'ite

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    Please dear dont go to pondicherry ,He is just using you for his benefits. He is not treating you as his better half then why you should give you hard earned salary to him?

    It may not be possible to file a divorce, in that case please avoid him. Take your time and start thinking about the incidents took place in your life. If the same situation exist through out life will you be able to be happy?? or will your son be happy. I know its very difficult to avoid your husb. bt please try it for your son sake. Dont try to contact him. Let him know that he is not the only person in your world and prove him you can also be able to live happily without him. It may bring some changes to him. Hope so :)
     
  4. MaliniHari

    MaliniHari Gold IL'ite

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    As of now the first thing you should do is to safeguard yourself physically and emotionally. Try to keep away from him for a couple of days. This would give you the strength to think clearly.
     
  5. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Gold IL'ite

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    OP he does not deserve you, it's as simple as that. You are saying I am already 25. Dear do not get upset you are only 25. I got married when I was 26. Most importantly you are a well educated girl. Do not let that bastard husband of yours abuse you. Your post was way too hurtful to read, I wonder how you went through so much abuse. They beat your mom really??? Can't beleive it and you still want to get back to him. To those people who tell you that you can not live without a husband can you please ask them for me, that what good this husband of yours did to you. Op please grow up and grow a spine. Have some self respect do not plead to him to take you back. If your parents still do not support you for divorce, shame on them. What is the point of all the education you have got.
     
  6. Weasly

    Weasly Gold IL'ite

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    Dear op

    you are only 25! People get married fir the first time after that age these days! Please get a divorce!! You dont need to convince ur parents! You have to think abt ur kid and urself! Ur parents are thinking abt society they arnt thinking abt u and and ur sons well fare! Get a divorce!! U are self sufficient, why do u want to be with someone like this!! Please get out of this relationship!

    If i knew who you were, i had ur address or any detail by now i would have informed the police, the women activist groups and they wud have had ur husband and inlaws behind bars!! U r living in hell!! U r living with criminals!!
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2014
  7. bathalatha

    bathalatha Bronze IL'ite

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    Your husband and your in laws are toxic people..
    Please stay away from them..
    Coming to black magic..Please do not believe this...Your husband never supported you(You mentioned an incident how he left you to the security before marriage)..and thus he has not changed..Please do not find excuses or reasons to support his behavior..He is abusive.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2014
  8. msm

    msm Gold IL'ite

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    Dear friend - why do you want to live with this family? at least for your father-in-laws character you should have started staying away, on top of it, hitting your mother, and this crap actions from your husband - no way you can tolerate all these. You are well educated and you have a boy to look for. Don't go to the function, how dare he calls you for the function, yet telling he will leave you alone and you have to get the ATM card for him, how cheap of a mentality. He knows your weak-points and think you will stick on to him because you had a failed love story and you are feeling guilty about that and he is exploiting you for that. You were so honest and told everything to him, what if he also had such a thing, you would have just brushed it away right? So you didn't do anything wrong on your previous love. What you are doing now is only completely wrong - an educated girl going through all these abuse, you are seting a wrong example for the future girls in your immediate family. the things that you have shared about you are being used to weaken you psychologically, dont give-in from now on.

    Next time he calls you - dont take his calls/answer him, He will have to realize his mistakes and come to you beggng, even after that dont give-in, keep at your stride from your mothers place for the next 6 months and observe if there is any change in his behavior. If at all you see any consistent/positive signs, then you can start talking to him - agan don't be sweet at all - keep your points simple and straight, no more in-laws involvement and no more crap from any one of his family. The moment you get any crap talk/action, next minute you will stop in the nearest All Womens Police station and lodge a complaint and leave out of the house and stay separately for the life time. This 6 months time you are giving him only to make it very clear to your parents that he is not a person to trust/believe, or else they will only blame you.

    And regarding your age, don't worry at all. As others have said, so many ladies out there are not yet married by your age. So you are not at loss for anything. Say after a yr you dont see any difference in your husband - file a divorce straight away and live happily. Still if your parents are worried/you met a good person, don't feel bad for marrying again. Have you seen this advt of Vasantham in magazines like Mangayar Malar/other Tamil magazines? so many ppl get married second time ever after their 40s/50s now, so you are not at all in a Loss for leaving this stupid family. In fact they only have to feel sorry for the things they have done to you.

    Do you have any siblings? Do they understand your situation? Can they help explaining to your parents?
     
  9. FreeSpirit20

    FreeSpirit20 Platinum IL'ite

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    And oh yes, pay them too. If divorce is not an option, try separation atleast. I can't believe this !
     
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  10. TheUnhappyWife

    TheUnhappyWife Silver IL'ite

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    OP, I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through. Sorry, I couldn't read the whole post. It's obnoxious for a FIL to suggest how to take care of private parts. No father talks like this, so your husband's suggestion to think of him as fatherly figure was crap. Inhuman!

    Please be strong and divorce your husband. He is a very bad man and so are your in-laws - bad people. They would be a very bad impact on your child.

    Divorce is not a stigma as you must be thinking. It is a respite from all the ugly people in your life. And there are so many of them in your life. Please use this option to get rid of all these inhuman entities. Your child and you deserve much more. In fact, much more than you can ever imagine. So, please take the first step.
     
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