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Frnz pleasee help me to come out of this issue save my sons life

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Pavithrarajsaai, Aug 8, 2014.

  1. Pavithrarajsaai

    Pavithrarajsaai Senior IL'ite

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    Hi frnz myself pavithra working as a programmer in an engineering college.I live in Bangalore.Am married and i have a son.I couldnt share my problem frankly this is the first time am sharing my problem in a forum.Before marriage i was in a affair with a guy during college days but it was broken due to some issues.I was asked to marry my cousin but actually i rejected him as i know him from child hood and i couldnt imagine him as my husband whom i thought as my brother.I got a proposal from my husband side once after engagement we started talking that time i told him about my ex love and my cousin matter as i always want to be frank to my better half.One fine day my husband came to meet me in my PG.We were standing near the platform where some idiot has pulled me with my dresses at that moment my husband called my security to take care of me and left that place.I caaled him next day and asked why he left me on road and left/His answer shocked me.He told that We didnt get marry so for you i cant go and fight with some one.It was a week left for my marriage.So i couldnt do anything and my marriage is done.After marriage within 2 months i was pregnant.Within 43 days doctor told me not to travel.But he took me to his cousin marriage as his parents and sister strictly told to take me.within 3 days i travelleld in bus from Bangalore to madurai from there to karaikudi to meet his relatives.To meet his parents we came back to sivagangai and from there to thanjavur and back to bangalore.Once i reached i was so tired.I couldnt go to office.By seeing my condition my husband told me to quit job.and he informed my mother in law too.She then called to my mom and scolded so badly for quting job.My husband has never opened his mouth to tell that he only told me to quit.Then with that tension i told my husband that am going ouut of home to search job.He came along with meand to my surprise i got an offer letter f4rom a company for tech support and joining date was 28th december 2011. But in all those days my mil and fil was indirectly scolding me so i was fighting with my husband as he was not at all supporting me.Within 10days i got aborted and it was informed that due to travel baby heart was damaged.I was Damn angry on my husband and didnt talk to him at all he was worrying for me but once his parents and sister came they were enjoying the new year mood and my fil was asking me to go for job for which i got call when i was in abortion theater.Me and my mom were crying for this but they were scolding us also for crying.His dad made some problem and sent me to my parent home as he wants to go to job and they cant take care of me.Actually i live alone with my husband but my inlaws will visit two months once during that time big fight will happen for sure and they will blame me for that and they will go off.I got a lecturer job in an engineering college.I joined on jan 15 which was just 20 days after my abortion.I was normal to my husband and life started to move normally.Once my mil scolded me for having food in hotel One day me and my husband went to hotel that time we got call from them i begged him not to tell that we are in hotel but once he picked he told that we are in hotel.Am so stunned cried and fighted.Then after some days i asked him that i would like to pursue M.tech by which I can get sime promotion.He agreed we planned to pay fee .next day he informed his parents and i came to college.My mo called and scolded me ike who asked you to do Mtech now blablablaba...I came to know that my husband called and told them that i was forcing him to do Mtech.My inlaws were scolding me and asked my parents to give money for me to do mtech.I told tem that i am mmarried am not giving my salary to my parents.my husband shoud take care of me nu.For that they made a problem that before studying only she is ytalking so m,uch of law point if she study what and all will happen...finally it got flopped.We went to my sil home in pune.There also everyone was advising me that i was wrong.I dont feel what i spokje was wrong till now.Please let me know frnz where and all i went wrong.Point it to me.After somedays we planned to buy flats .we booked one and called my inlaws to see.they came and told that it is not good so we searched other and we couldnt make oput there comes the problem again.My inlaws (both)were talking that my dad should give money and so much i told my husband that they are talking so bad he didnt mind it and he was telling whtever they are telling is correct.Whenever we have problem my mother in law will come and touch my thaali(Mangal sutra) and tell that she will pull it and i should go to my parents home.MY parents were so quite and scolding me every time to be quite though i talk one word for their 100 words.My FIL will talk so personally which i didnt like.When i got aborted he mentioned the part of the body directly to me and told to apply soap and turmeric to avoid smell.Once he asked me how is my periods flow.He will be asking me whether i got periods.So many times i informed my husband about this but he will be scolding me and tell me to think him as father.He used to fold my inner wears infront of my husband and all which i hate the most.Is this the problem with me???Finally i delivered a boy baby.My inlaws were so strict that i should get only boy baby.When i got they were happy.To eevryones surprise I got a baby on the same day same time i got aborted.We were so happy with our kid in hospital.My mom was feeding food to me when she is not there my husband wil be doing it.My inaws also stayed with me in hospital.So they started scolding him for doing these things to me.So he stopped.On the discharge day started the next revolution.My inwas were scolding my mom for something.Actually they were talking that they could have married some other gal to my husband and so.I was so irritated with that.They sent my mom to buy bed to carry my son.Once my mom bought my mil just throwed it and told this is not the one i asked.I couldnt control my anger as that was the first thing we bought for my son.so i shouted at her as heyy!!! This become the reason to them.They beated my mom and scolded my dad and me with my character.That time only i came to know that my husband have informed his mom that we didnt had sex during pregnancy thats why i got it operated.I felt so bad and i couldnt even imagine how a guy can talk these things to a mom.Finally they all left me in hospital and went.After a week my husband came to meet my son.He wont even drink water.Will come just see kid and was going.Then slowly started talking to me.One day he told my mom has spoken something bad about him to his sister's inlaws.He told me to call and talk to them.So i called that aunty but she told nothinng has hapened like that.But immediately he shouted at me how can you call her nu.I did whatever he told.then My uncle aunty mom dad myself everyone asked them sorry and begged them to take me back.Wantedly they took me on friday(Usually girls should not be sent on friday)within 2 months of my sons birth.They took me to sivagangai.There my inlaws wont even help me to give bath for my kid wont even wash if he go toilet.Somehow i managed and i came back to blore after 2 months.Life went smoothly.Some problem will come when they come.I can see the diference in my husband's behaviour when they come and that impact will be there till one week after they leave.But To be frank I know that he was so crazy about me and my kid but it gradually got reduced.Now am in so bad situation .Actually as i was working they themself called my mom to take care of my kid and i applied for mtech also.1 semester i was the topper in the class.during second semester exams i called my inlaws as my mom have some important marriage in our native.From the day she came she was making problem if i tell her to have tea she will make problem for that too.Anyways on friday she made a issue just for asking her to wipe my son as i was wet after giving bath to him.that day night she informed my husband that i was making problem.I asked my husband wont you listen to me ?he told he wont.I told let me get out of home.I went down the stairs he took me inside and beated me for my behaviour.That night itself he left with my fil to madurai for official work.next day morning i was preparing for my exams.Once she came she started telling that I was taking photo with opposite apartment guy by telling that am feeding for my son.I shouted at her so badly as she was talking abut my character.She has already informed the same to my husband too itseems.I never talk to my neighbours also.I will stand infront of my gate only if husband or my mom or my inaws are outside.So she beated me and removed her magal sutra and mine too my toe ring and called my husband and informed and i beated and removed her thali.All the neighbors v=came.That musch she shouted.My husband informed my mom that i made problem.She came and shouted at my inlaw for the first time as she spoke about my character.My husband told me to go home with my mom or come to his home with my inlaw.I got a fear that my husband will leave me if i go with my mom so i went with my inlaw.The previous day my mil amd fil beted with me that they will take my husband away from me and my son nu.I was there in sivagangai for one and half month.I got typhoid and my son too.They were not giving food also to me.If i tell like i will prepare for my kid they were not letting me.My husband was not calling me too.one day my fil called me with such a bad word.I informed this to my husband and told i really feel like dying.He asked are you blackmailing me nu.After a week he came and my inlaws were complaining about me with full of lies.If i tell like i didn do that they will tell like i have attitude and cholestral so am talking infront of them nu.Next day they told my husband that i should not be in their home and husband also should not take me nu.They sent me out.My husband was leaving to chennai.I begged him that i wont go.I requested him to take me atleast to chennai with him.He told i will leave you in local lodge you earn there and have food i cant take care of you both nu.This hurted me so badly.So I told him you send me to my home nu.They kept all my luggages outside and told me to leave.My goodness his aunty took me to her home and asked to inform my parents to come and take me from there.I was not interested to leave my husband.I begged my husband.He promised on my son and told he will come and take me from that aunty home once he come back from chennai.So i left.After reaching there he told yu go to your parents home i will take you within 10 days nu.Its been 3 months.he didnt turn still.Once i reached my parents home i started going to job.He came to know that so for that he shouted at me now so immediate next day i went home to meet him he shoued so badly and blackmiled that he will pour acid on my face and he will kidnapp and ask some one to rape me and all nonsense stuff.I cried so badly not by getting fear but for the cruel thoughts of him.I thought he will be missing my son so i asked me shall i bring him he told he doesnt even want to look his face.But daily night my son takes my marriage photo and kissing him by telling i love you.My heart is breaking at that moment.Please frnz get me a solution what should i do now.Please tell me where i am going wrong.This weekend is his sisters daughter ear piercing ceremony.They didnt call me also.But he is going.People around me telling that they have done black magic to my husband.Is that can be real?Does it really works?
     
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  2. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    Hugs to you dear. Go back to your parents house and file for divorce asap. These people are too low and pathetic. Get rid of him. There is no point in dealing with such horrible people. I cried reading your post.
     
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  3. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    God sake, you are a well educated, working woman. Why do have to beg and plead for someone to accept you? Just walk away from this family and start your life fresh.

    The court will order to have an infant baby with you sooner or later.
     
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  4. mithu202

    mithu202 Silver IL'ite

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    For god sake please don't stay with these people, If you feel your husband is good or if he supports you you just bring him out and stay with him separately , but from your post i could see he is not that supportive for you, Please file a divorce and come out of this hell. You are educated and working so you can standalone.. don't worry.Take care of your kid, I pray to god that all this shouldn't affect him.
     
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  5. Neethu87

    Neethu87 Gold IL'ite

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    They are screwed up people. It's high time you should say goodbye to them once and forever. He doesn't deserve to be a husband. Really dear.. No girl deserves such kind of life. Be brave and come out. Your life will be good then. My prayers for you.
     
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  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    There are laws to deal with people like your husband. Use them.
     
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  7. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

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    After going through why are you asking what's my fault.Why do you want to join your husband again.Stay away from him OP.He has actually threaten you for rape and acid attack.Please go for divorce.
     
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  8. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    I could not read any thing after, ' they beated my mom and scolded my dad'....i had enuf of the post... Havnt you had enuf???? The mistake you have done is not growing a spine.
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2014
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  9. lucky2

    lucky2 Platinum IL'ite

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    first work on your self esteem..how the hell do you even let someone raise hand on you or your mom..they mean nothing to you. you say youu are pursuing mtech,be strong dear. never ever crave for sympathy..you have wonderful life ahead and you dont deserve to live in that hell..kick them out of your life.
     
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  10. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Your husband and inlaws are abusing you physically and emotionally! Your child MUST NOT come in contact with these evil people ever.

    You need to register a 498a case in the police station for all that they have done to you. You need to talk to a lawyer as soon as possible to get a divorce. Also get a restraining order so that your husband can't even come within so many metres of you or contact you ever.

    Stay strong. Finish your masters and have a great life.
     
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