Friendship With Lies

She seems to be depressed.
She could be having serious problems with her husband. Invite her to your house, have a talk with her.
Regarding the hotel thing, the guy could just be a friend. Nothing creepy.

 

Anusha,
I find it a very disturbing that she left her child and went without letting anyone know. This really needs to be addressed, this is not acceptable behavior from a parent.
No one needs to leave their child abruptly at a party to talk to a friend. This kind of behavior should not be enabled or encouraged. We like to brush things under the carpet because it is uncomfortable but addressing this might also help her come out with her issues.
A friendship without trust is not a true friendship at all.

 

Maybe she is having very serious problems with her husband and she has no where to vent. You can tell her that
she should not bash her husband in front of all- if she needs emotional support she can talk with her closest friends but not in front of everyone. Regarding her health, not all of us can have control over diet - it's not a reason to break friendship.

It was one incident , and again it's not a reason to break friendship. But you can ask her to clarify what happened and you find it rude for her to disappear like that in between her birthday treat. Is she in any real trouble- ask her. If you feel her troubles may spill into your life, then avoid her.Not comfortable with the idea of isolating someone or all this group dynamics. Anyway, if you feel personally wronged by her, have a talk with her or avoid her . It's not your duty to take everyone's troubles on your head. You can maintain distance from her, but don't make it a group thing.

 

If I were in your place, I would just tell her in private that she needs to watch her words since she is putting herself in trouble. If you want to really help her, ask her what is bothering her, do not judge her. I do not understand why should a woman be castigated if she is trying to vent.

I would be really concerned about her behavior at the restaurant though. If it was me, I would go straight to her, excuse myself and tell her she has been out for a considerable amount of time. Why should she think that someone was spying on her? Did she really expect that people won't notice her absence for a long time? I would tell her that I was concerned about her safety and not assume that she just left, especially when her kid is there behind.

Don't men go and vent to their friends? And whatever advice or stupid suggestions they get from friends, family and extended family they promptly put into action. Why women have to feel guilty about venting? Venting is not the issue, doing it all the time and everywhere is a problem and that should be told without making the woman feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. If possible try to help, if not, just let her know that her venting is not serving any purpose and she needs to address her problems whatever they might be, probably discuss it with someone really close and not when there are other men/women.

Finally, I do not understand why women refuse to sympathize with other women? Why we fail to see them as humans, that they might be facing their challenges, though they may not be the same for everyone? Venting is not good, but sometimes venting is crucial to release pressure. Have we not seen cases of people looking calm and happy, silent till one fine day we hear of sudden demise or suicide. If we as a society cannot commiserate with each other, then what is the use of a society?

 

Yes.
The friend is a careless parent for sure. Its unsafe for the kid. She just left the kid in the party and didn't inform you guys.