Friendship With Lies

Hi all,

Need inputs for below.

Recently when we got possession of new apartment I made a lot of friends there. It's a very huge complex and one thing I wanted to make sure is when I am away from my work I'll utilise my time doing what I like to do. So made a lot or friends and in that we a gang of 6 became very close like besties. All different age group and very decent ladies with work and their family as their priority. No complaints about anyone and all are nice and we gel very well with each other. We meet once in a while, celebrate birthdays, go for dinner and take each others help when needed.
But one in that seems a little eccentric.

Everytime when there's a talk about spouse she puts down her husband very badly in front of everyone. From what I understood is her relationship with her husband is not very great . Both physical and emotional relationship. Not sure they fight but it's kind of not great as per her words. Few incidents which made me think.
1) There was a birthday party of one the friend's kid. We all attended the party with our spouses. When all were at the dinner table some conversation came about spouses and she immediately started putting down her husband (he wasn't present at the party) . This was in front of our spouses. She went non stop until one of us changed the topic deliberately as it was making everyone at the table uncomfortable. This made my husband ask me that night, what kind of a friend you made? Who will talk about their husband Like that ? Indirectly he said me to stay away from her.
My question is next time she talks about her husband like that should me or anyone in the group tell her not to do that? I generally don't like to advice anyone volunteerily.
2) January and February saw three birthdays in the group and since I was busy with my exam they waited until I get free to celebrate the birthday. She was one among the three and we decided to celebrate it at a cafe nearby. She joined us at the cafe Vv late. She sat for sometime and then got a phone call rushed outside without telling anyone anything. Thinking she will come back we continued with our chit chat. After about an hour we realised she hadn't come back and her kid was very much with us playing with other kids . And all the food we had ordered we all had finished it. She had eaten 3 spoons in her main course. After we finished the desert he got the bill and since it was her birthday treat we wanted her to have a look at the bill and also it was getting late in the night. She didn't turn up and wasn't picking up our calls. Everyone were getting impatient. One friend said she will go n look for her and went down searching her. She came back n said there are a lot of guys outside and she couldn't find her. (yes it was a cafe come pub and huge gangs of guys were out there smoking) . I accompanied her again and both went down searching her. We walked on the roads looking for her and there was an empty land after 2 3 buildings of this cafe and we saw her there with an other person(male female we couldn't make out as it was pitch dark but her light color top was very much visible for us). It was very shocking. The worst thing happened ,she saw us walking that way and not knowing what to do we walked back. But it was super embarrassing as I felt she would start feeling we were kind of spying her. We both silently came near the cafe entrance and were preparing our lies. We thought we would tell her that I was feeling pukish ,hence we came down. We went upstairs in the next 5 mins and shocked to notice her at the table. I asked her when did u come she said long time back in monotone with other friend who said she came just now. It was very surprising because we were very much near the entrance and not sure how we missed seeing her enter the cafe. She left immediately inspite of us requesting her to take pics with us.
I could sense her tension . She didn't want any sort of questions from me n other friend and said she's in some trouble n left hurriedly.
We went near the entrance and started taking pics . Even though it was getting late my husband was on the way to pick me and others said they'll wait until my husband reaches n then they will leave. They all had come together in one friend's car. After 15 mins that female comes back and continues to click pictures with us . Before anyone asked her anything she said there was some problem going on and it's solved now and she is ready to stay back for pics.
Don't know if any of us should confront her any of these things. I thought leaving it as is better but I'm 100% not convinced. Should I confront and ask her what she was up-to at a dark n doddgy place like that?
Not sure very confused. Still somewhere I feel we chould have asked her there itself when we saw her at a dark place like that.
3) Her health issues : She always complains about her husband, parents etc. She is in early 30s and says she's having sugar.
Recently she said she went for health check up and she has high cholesterol. No matter what we advice she doesn't stop eating junk outside. Starving and only drinking coffee ,taking aerated drinks always. Depending on domino's pizza and burgers everyday. Today she sent a pic of her from hospital with iv fluids and complained how she's all alone and neither her mom nor her hubby were there to help her. Everyone squeezed sometime in between their schedule and visited her at the hospital to notice that her mom and husband were very much next to her taking care of her. Don't know why she had to lie.
These are just a few lies of her. But there are so many which we have seen in these 6 months with her. I have started major ones only.
Not sure how to handle her and her lies.
Not able to totally ignore her nor tolerate her lies.

The others in the group feel we all will sit with her n talk to her. My take is she's an adult and very well aware of the consequences of her lies . Confronting her will make her cook more stories and it's going to be lies over lies . Yes for me she looks like a serial lier especially after the cafe incident. I'm better off minding my business and not interfere in her life.

What is your take on this? Is it the right thing I'm doing by ignoring her or helping her in anyway will be a good solution.?

 

Yes you are right. Off late I have started Getting negative vibes being around her .
Guess it'll take some more time to slowly convey to her that her behavior is not suiting the group dynamics. Directly conveying is very difficult at this point of time .

 

Yes this definitely is true and we can sense there is something troubling her at home. Honestly just us the whining is absolutely fine. It only got awkward when that happened in the larger group with spouses which she could have avoided.

It's not mentioned as shady area. It was a dark and isolated empty piece of land.
Yes genuinely there is a problem and there's no question of character etc. She is a close friend after all. But the confrontation part is a tricky one .