Hi Mothers, Again coming up with silly issue. my stubborn mindless husband brought apartment (before marriage) in an undeveloped layout which is at out skirts and far away from main road where there is less chances to have more people and their kids with out thinking future issues. i have to get bike for every small thing. No public transport. Every thing is far away 1 KM at least(even chota shop). Unfortunately, due this problem and other maintenance reasons lot off families in my apartment came and vacated. since we are owners, not able to escape and even though some 2/3 families having same age children at apartment, facing language barrier. They also not sending kids out or into my home even into common area of apartment. No child playing in another childs home.every one is busy with TV/mobile at their homes. every parent is securing seems to be or feeling lazy/busy to monitor them every day (may be their house work reasons). No open environment to accept/entertain neighbors children. i requested in group as well. but no one reacted.I requested them to send kids to my house daily for 30min at least. again no response in reality. We have one close family kids until last may. but they also vacated. now my kid is feeling alone and he is not getting peer group. i knew this is temporary phase only. but i feel he is missing child hood. big children occupied with teutons. since my kid is eczma kid, he is coming from school by afternoon itself. from that point onwards, either TV/mobile/ Me need to occupy him. i dont like TV/Mobile. so finally i am screwing. right now i am 5 month pregnant. even though elders at home, we are not equivalent as children daily. their energy levels and thoughts are different than us. One more incident i faced 2 days ago is, we went to a famous children(very crowded) park of Hyderabad. I instructed my kid that try to get friends to play with him in park. My kid is daring guy and he will try to mingle any new persons. Openly he has taken his Bat and ball, and ran to 4 different kids in that public area to invite them for play cricket. i wonder no one has shown intrest to mingle really. He has disappointed really. finally i and my husband became team members. Observed that children are playing with their family members itself even though other kids are available in surroundings. i feel what is happening in society really. i have seen kids of poor people are mingling easily and enjoying instantly. But coming to middle class/upper middle class kids, all are like forming boundaries. poor people kids are knowing lot of self entertainment games. but middle class children are not awaring what to play as well some times. Need to teach them. I mean not all. but in my area i observed this. Any suggestions?
Hi Reesha, My situation is same as yours. We got an apartment in upcoming society in which less shops and everytime need my husband's help to commute and get things. My daughter also is 5 years old and very social and whenever she goes to talk to anyone she faces problems, because she speaks only English and other kids speak mostly Hindi or else even if they speak English they dont mingle. In a way we are sailing in the same boat. My husband suggested to put her in some extracurricular activities classes or sports classes where she can find friends and a directed way of playing each day. I am yet to go for these. You may try the same. Put your child in some Cricket academy or any sports classes where he will find friends to play with. There it is professional too so no fights. Any hobby classes for kids also you can go for. Spend time teaching your child and that will make him intelligent. In school if he excels people will get close to him for seeking help in studies and that way he can have friends too.
I think this thread belongs in some other group as there is nothing wrong with your son or you. You both seem to do everything in your means to get the ball rolling (literally and figuratively). I don’t think it’s the issue with being middle class/rich/poor. It’s how you bring up the kids and the whole neighbourhood as such. I am sorry to note that you live in an area where there are no kids willing to play. I am out of ideas really as you seem to do everything already. Only thing I can comeup with is, make friends with the parent of the child. My daughter is 6 and I am not comfortable sending her to a place where I myself don’t know the parents. Getting to know the parents would be a great way to start. Years ago, jab mein jawaan thi, my parents used to live in a very small town (nature of my dad’s job). Not a lot of people in my dad’s department. My mom used to invite the family over for dinner. The whole family, including hubby/wife/kids/inlaws etc. That’s how the friendships/acquaintance began. Once you break the ice, it maybe easier to rope them in for playdates. See if you can pull one off. Doesn’t have to be an elaborate meal. Just a simple chole and poori meal. Take interest and asked the lady of the house what they prefer to drink, if they do at all etc.
Thanks sri lakshmi, But as i told even small shop is far from house means you can guess how far a sports academy/play school/music classes will be. again i have to take 1hr journey to catch those 1hr city facilities. I am literally crying inside for this position because kids are missing city facilities.
and one more thing @Reesha , even people living in cities dont have activities planned for every afternoon. its going to burn you out and the kid out. Just have 1-3 afternoon activities and thats plenty.
Right! Festival season is coming up, do try to have a small party. the first few times you may have to take the initiative but eventually they will start getting close. If not, at least you can rest with the assurance that you tried everything.
Hi OP, I second what @Rakhii said, as family we try to make friends, which will give the kids opportunity to get friends!! Good luck
