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Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Oct 10, 2007.

  1. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Friends


    We all have friends,made over the years,and still being made now,just as neighbours,and others.The earliest friends are thru School and College carefree days,when it was just pure friendship, with money and status no where in the picture.Those friendships stay by far the longest and the best.When u meet an old school friend, u can for hours discuss yr childhood, the pranks, the teachers,the exams,and hours will roll by,forgetting the dauly nitty gritties,and the problems of today go out of the window.Of course yr spouse will not share the same enthuasiam, because she has not seen u then,and metu much later in life.



    I have two sets of friends.One set from Mumbai, and the next from Jaipur.Mumbai i have two close friends,we are like brothers,we met in 71, when we shifted to Worli fromChembur.We have seen movies together, watched Cricket matches,seen each other searching for mates,getting engaged,getting married,and having kids who have now grown up,and are maried too.We have discussed the pros and cons of the girls our parents showed us.They used to bring the photos of the girls,and show me what i thought of the face,and how she looks,whether she would be right.Now looking at a pic what can I say? Like looking at my pic,no girl would have married me,so how could i pass comment,and i had to be diplomatic and say,yes she looks good.We are still thick friends.There are hardly any secrets between us.



    The next set of friends is the Jaipur Gang.10 close ones,and many acquaintences.But I havnt found any here that i can trust with my innermost problems 100%.Some of them are good for jokes sharing,and lighter moments,some good for a movie outing,and some good for gossip.Only one is good for a personal discussion.



    The problem today,These are my personal feelings,not bound on anyone please,is that money plays the spoilsport between friends.Some friends are not very well off,but still friends,some medium and some super rich.So somewhere borrowing comes in between for marriages and diseases,and it becomes a difficult choice then how avoid lending,or if lended,how to recover back the money,in one installment as promised at the time of taking the money.If you give, then a problem,if u dont,u are damned.




    I always state to my friends, that if ever i come asking for a loan, throw me out of the house.This is a hint that they too should not come.I tell them there is so much money the banks and credit card companies are willing to give, its unbelieveable,so that they see my point.Why borrow or lend and create a rift in friendship, which is anyway very hard to comeby.This is the irony of life.



    Friendship is unequal too.You have a childhood friend,still close,but who will come over to yr house hundreds of times for a drink,but will not invite you once.But then this friend is one on whom you can trust to come to yr help even at midnight,if u have any emergency,and will not go home till everything is all right with u and yr family.But these friends are called lechers by the wifey.she is right,but the hubby is also right.He is the childhood pal,and one to be depended at the time of crisis,but theladies wont understand at times.



    I feel friends made at Indus, will most probably turn out to be good friends.Here the bond is of writing.We dont know nor care how rich the other person is,and it is the writing that counts among them.To those who make friends here, great,to those who dont want to,fine.
    I have made two good male friends at Indus and value their friendship very much.No names.


    It is very rare to find a friend as selfless,and equal to yr financial background,and where giving and taking is almost equal.But to those who have such friends,I want to tell them,God has been kind to you,and you cannot ask him for anything more.God has been kind to me for sure.Thanks Big Boss.



    KAMAL MAHTANI
     
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  2. Meeta

    Meeta Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Kamalji,
    Felt so good to read about frds.........
    Yes, these are the only relation you can choose in your life otherwise others are God gifted ones............
    Also everybody has sets of frds.......from schools.......colleges........work place.....neighbourhood frds..........and so many.........
    But among these, I feel very much comfortable with my school pals with whom I shared my launch box........talked all the non-sense when at school......cried when got bad marks in any subject........made them alibi for my done/undone crimes and what not........
    But we never felt who is rich and poor...............we don't mind to ask why she is wearing so and so dresses to picnic or why he/she has no video games but felt happy to share our things unconditionally.......shared answers even in exams without thinking it may reduce our rank.........but we were only FRDS.
    Then came the college.......again frds......more gossip.......but certain things were missing here........we now became concious abt frds........talked to only good (let it be look/studies) pals.........groups were formed on several basis......smart pals with little brain.........pal with brain and beauty and the third form.......no brain and beauty who were always neglected and only required when all our group pals need some more support in arranging parties/functions..........but you know.......here frdship has some lackings, we stopped sharing so many things.....fear to loose our rank or for some fear to loose the reputation ............
    Then came the work place.....here frds are only for purpose.........launch time frd to eat out...........commuter frds with whom we share commuting time.........then frds who can help you teaching the office work.........but one thing is good here.....we have no expectations from these.........we feel this relation is more goodwill kind........
    And above all..........I have two BEST FRDS in my life.........my MOM and HUBBY with whom I share everything.........everything means everything.........there is hardly anything they don't know abt me........I can bet they can write an Biography on me (thats another thing that I am not a celebrity and nobody will read that unless I become one).
    I am happy to inform you people that I am going to meet two of my bossom frds of my school years after 15 years during this INDIA trip of mine (NOV-DEC) .......and now we three are married and one has a kid.......
    Regards to all and HIP HIP Hurray for our FRDS and FRDship......
     
  3. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Meeta,

    Thank you for a wonderful reply.This could have made a good blog in itself meeta.

    Yes we hae all types of friends, but i feel the school and college friends are the best, as we had friendship with them which was not based of rich and poor, what caste or reliogion.it was pure friendship.

    Welcome to india, and have a great meeting with yr long lost friends, and find more of them whuile u are here.

    thanks a ton.Regards.kamal
     
  4. Meeta

    Meeta Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Kamalji,
    My frds were not long lost but we had always in touchthrough snail mail.......then email and recently e-chat...........of course to some extent ORKUT through which I was able to search all others; yes, LONG LOST PALS.......not exactly frds.......because we never shared secrets.........nor we were too close.....
    Thanks.......
     
  5. Nivedi

    Nivedi New IL'ite

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    Kamalji,

    It is a coincidence as I read your article that just over the last week-end I got in touch with 4 of my former classmates whom I had not met after the mid-80's. And through this e-meeting, we were able to get in touch with some more. I had moved out of the small town that I lived in during the 80's and had been in touch with some friends, but lost contact over a period of time.

    I agree with you that money plays spoil-sport in friendships and other relationships. Childhood is a time when we make no judgements and the friendships that we form then are true. It does not matter whether we are good-looking, whether we wear the best of branded clothes, whether we belong to the high-end or low-end of society, whether we have a Porsche or a bicycle, whether we have money to buy a candy or not.

    Meeta has beautifully summed up the purpose of friendships over time.
     
  6. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Meeta,

    So orkut helped u find a few friends.Great.Find some more.Regards.kamal


    Nivedi,

    Great that u have got in touch with 4 of yr friends.All the best,and ahve a great time with them.REgards.kamal
     

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