1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Friend's girlfirend marrying to other guy.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by manyamanya, Feb 16, 2008.

  1. manyamanya

    manyamanya New IL'ite

    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Hi All,

    I had come across this site, once I was searching for some Indian recipes

    One of my friend used to work in India for an IT firm and one girl had proposed him.After one month my friend accepted her.
    Later he groomed her and helped her in securing a good IT job and they had a healthy relationship for 3 years. They even had physical relationship during these three years.
    Once she got job, she started ignoring him, not spending much time, I warned my friend not to over commit, if you don marry her , you will be in trouble. He even bought an 40 lakhs Flat for her.

    last month when my friend got job Visa to USA, he asked the girl we shall we get married and go to USA(Girl like USA very much, she wanted to settle in USA), I cannot wait anymore, I want to talk to your parents as I had made all the arrangement's as per your request.

    then she got angry and said get lost, I don't need you , you are over possessive and he also said get lost.

    After one week she called him and said I am getting married to a US Guy next month and she doesn't feel guilty for her doing, she is happily talking to her new fiance(US Guy).
    My friend said he cannot live happily without you, you only came to my life and proposed me and now you are leaving me. I had committed more than my 100% to you, you made me a joke. everybody in office are thinking that you are my fiancee.

    now, she is taking granted of him and says i know you will not tell anyone
    about our relation.
    my friend told her like if your husband knows that you are not a virgin, he may reject you. Don't do that mistake, but, she said it seems I will manage.

    my friend is in a total shock and he is unable to believe.

    only one week is left for marriage, what can he do now to save the girl from
    committing that mistake and spoiling three lives(her new fiance, my friend and herself).

    Is she materialistic or Fickle Minded or does not know what she is doing.
    one thing, she did not tell her parents(no sons) about this relation and they are uneducated rural rich landlords.
    her parents have a good view of my friend as who had helped her in getting job.
    At one point even her father asked do you want to marry him as he is a good guy who helped you in getting job
    ----------
    manya
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2008
    Loading...

  2. Ria2006

    Ria2006 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    792
    Likes Received:
    53
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: can't believe

    I personally think, he cannot do anything. All he can do is, put together his life back and move on.

    The girl here seems lost in mind and characterless. Such girls should suffer outcome of their greed and lack of character. There is nothing he can do to save her. He should thank his stars that he got saved from such a characterless person. Someone who doesnot take relations seriously, someone who thinks sex is easy thing to have in a relation, someone only worries about managing about her virginity to new guy. He should leave such girl to her own fate.

    She will repent in due course of time, But probably thats her fate. What is his bigger grief , That he will have to face office crowd who knows her..Or he feels cheated in love. If its being cheated in love, then he s just opening to this world. A girl who comes and easily proposes , has bigger problem in mind that we forsee. He has nothing to loose in it except some heartburns. Some heartburns are required to make us strong and pragmatic. Next time he should be more vigilant to trust right person, You can never make pudding out of wheat..So to have desired recipe in life, you need right ingredients in first place. He didnt pick a right gal. That was his mistake. Girl will suffer for her own mistake. When faced with such situation, one should first help onself than help anybody else. He is better off going to US and making sure he never contact such characterless girl in future. Suggest him to snip off all communications with this girl. I am suspicious that once initial bubble bursts, this gal will come crying to him. Since she herself has no value for her own character, she wouldn't have any trouble re-starting the fling.

    He needs to be strong and wise here. Emotions only make us fool in one-sided love.

    Ria
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2008
    1 person likes this.
  3. manyamanya

    manyamanya New IL'ite

    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Re: Girl friend marrying other guy

    What more hurts him is she cheated him, everybody in the office knows she got job because of him.

    Other thing is when she proposed her, he also said to her, I am not good looking, I am avg guy, and what qualities in me made you love me.

    He even bought each and every item in his new Flat by discussing with her.
    He wanted to make her his life.

    and finally now, she is asking him to help her in her marriage, come to her marriage, what gift you are giving to me for my marriage, discussing all details about her new fiance with him.
    and she wants to come to office even after marriage till she goes to USA

    and this new guy is from a respected family with no bad habits and never touched a girl

    I told my friend not to talk to her anymore and block all her calls and advice her not to come to office, pay the salary for her

    what hurts me is this girl is spoiling one more innocent guys life. I want to avoid it, but how ?
     
  4. Ria2006

    Ria2006 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    792
    Likes Received:
    53
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Gender:
    Female
    Well I think the focus of your and your friend's efforts should be to help rebuild his life.
    There is no point trying to spoil other's life. People suffer for their choices.
    So best thing this guy can do is, Ignore the girl totally. And if she tries to reach him, give her a good firing about how characterless she is. And thats it .Stop there.
     
  5. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,327
    Likes Received:
    1,506
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    I feel your friend is lucky that he cud escape such a vicious minded woman. He will be better off with out her. As much as it pains him ,he shud look into healing from this broken relationship and take necessary measures to transfer property he bought for her to his name.good luck to her husband. I can imagine his future right now. She is just a opportunist. Being opportunist is not bad. Everybody have that quality in them. But to this level can be disastrous.And what will your friend acheive by forcing her back into his life. He is inviting trouble by doing that.
    If i were to be in your place,I would just congratulate him and say you are lucky you got away easily from her.
     
  6. manyamanya

    manyamanya New IL'ite

    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Thanks everybody, my self, and my friend will wish that girl a happy married life and hope that she will truly love him and I will tell my friend that you deserve a better girl than her, god has saved your life.
     
  7. rohinis

    rohinis New IL'ite

    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    I think its time your friend should take revenge!

    Now is the time. Strike when the iron is hot. He can get back to this girl in many ways. I am sure the marriage will be taking place locally with the guy flying in from US.

    He should go talk to this to be groom. Let him know the details. Provide him with pictures, intimate details whatever he can. After all he spend so much time with her hoping they would be together. He planned his life along with her.

    Now she has dumpd your friend. Its time for him to make sure her life is miserable.

    He can take pictures to him. He can take telephone bill with the dialed phone numbers to him. Anything that can be evidence enough for the fiance to dump the girl. Any guy who has even a slightest doubt about the girl being slutty wouldn't marry her.

    If your friend forgives her, he is not a man. He is sissy. He will not get another chance. Now is the time for him to get back. He shouldn't leave any opportunity to ensure that the groom knows what he is getting into.

    Even if the groom gets married to the girl, he wouldn't forget what your friend had told him about his wife. In a couple of years when he finds out that she is a slut, he wouldn't doubt your friend's words and wouldn't think twice before showing her the door out.

    Girls like your friend's ex-gf bring bad name to girls in general. She should be shown her place.

    I hope your friend gets this wedding cancelled.

    Good luck to him
     
  8. manyamanya

    manyamanya New IL'ite

    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    my Friend knows her number, its additional Line to his number, he can track all numbers, he knows the grooms Number, Email Address, where he lives in USA.

    my friend also helped her to get personal loan of 4 Lakhs for her marriage with surety.

    One thing hurts my friend is she said she can live happily with new person.
    so, whats the point in Achieving that girl by force.
    She said it seems, even if you marry me by force you will be staying with a
    dead person.

    My friend was shocked and he is thinking what wrong he did for her.
    All her friends were feeling pity for him.
    She was a girl, because of that he is not taking revenge, and he is thinking that if she can live happily with new person, what more, to love someone means to make her feel happy.


    BTW, the girls had married last week itself.
     
  9. ansh12

    ansh12 Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    436
    Likes Received:
    26
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi manya

    What I would suggest is that let your friend concentrate on his life.Seeking revenge is not a solutions, as it means harbouring nefgative feeling sof hate and it is well lnown hate is worse than anger. It spoils ones personality. There is saying

    "When you think you have chased someone away, you have also ran after him/her, so you also get exhausted"

    Cheating, playing with someone's feelings has nothing to do with gender, it is a human trait and can be there in both men and women.

    As you sow so shall you reap. Let him leave her to her fate and concentrate on his life. I know break-up hurts and it hurts a lot. One keeps re-visiting past and yo-yo between two things "Was it love-Wasn't it love?"

    That girl has shown her weak morality. Let your friend show strength and strength lies in forgiving and moving on.

    I have practicised it and it gives peace and requires lot of courage to do so. Did you read about Staines murder case in India and did you read how the Widow forgave the murderers who burnt alive her husband and sons.

    Let him not destroy himself in harbouring feeling of hatredness, let him grow as human being.

    Wish you and your friend all the very best



     
  10. manyamanya

    manyamanya New IL'ite

    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Male
    Made a mistake by not marrying you

    Now, the twist is the girl is called my friend and says she made a mistake by not marrying you and she is asking his phone number.

    I told my friend not to give any number.
     

Share This Page