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Friendly Parenting Or Strict Parenting ? How To Balance?

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by Reesha, Dec 20, 2018.

  1. Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,

    i banged my head some times to found solution/plan for my below issue. finally i am hear. may be i require experienced mothers guidance. so....finally issue is, i have 5 yr old boy. My neighbors having 5 & 6 yrs old girls. they are coming to my home very often for playing purpose. every time their behaviour is surprising me. Their talks and actions are more mature than my kid. of course i knew, i shouldn't compare. but i want to built my kid like that. Some small examples...

    1. They have some proper plan and approach always in games. They stick to rules of game. but my kid not. he is demanding always as well as not ready to fallow the rule if it inconvenience to him. abruptly he will end the game if he dont like the rule. if his friends tries to correct him, he will get frustrated and will get out that place.

    2. girls talks towards elders are very polite and they knew their limitations when they are in others house. My kid is talking in same manner either with adults or kids. innocent talks only. no harsh words/no negative talking.

    3. They will ran to their home if their mothers calls for one time. even if i called my boy for 10 times, he wont care.

    4. Finally bothering is while having Food. Unfortunately, some times my neighbor is busy with her 3rd kid(5 months) and not able to cook the lunch in proper time(its very regular in their home as i observed). So if girls came to my home by lunch time for playing, i am offering food to them along with my kid. They are finishing it with in 5 min of time on their own. but my boy has started his lunch a 1 hour ago and still i am feeding his bites. I mean girls knew value of starving and food. my kid doesn't. that really hurts me. Every time its kind of war with my boy to complete his lunch & dinner.

    Ladies hear i want to ask, in my home we are fallowing friendly parenting. no shouting & no beating. only requesting/convincing method from child hood. it leads to open up kids wings mentally and he is ahead of step in thinking and learning, memory. but coming to behaviour it is causing to bit damage and he is reluctant to obey family members orders and opposing to fallow rules/directions. he don't care value of things & money. he dont care if some thing got spoiled because of him.

    But strict parenting of those girl's parents are leads to nice behaviour & discipline, value of things & money. of course they are poor in learning and memory.

    how i can balance both...good behaviour cum discipline with free wings of mind in kid?
     
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  2. SaiNiharika

    SaiNiharika Bronze IL'ite

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    Any one please give suggestions. I am also facing same problem with my 5 yrs kid
     
  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op.....I wish I had those lovely girls as my kids friends when they were younger.
    Those girls are lovely and so well behaved.

    Let your child learn from them naturally.
    Appreciate the girls publicly for their nice behaviour( without comparing)
    Let him know he has to follow the rules of of the games if he wants to play with them.
    Five yr old is old enough to play games by rules most of the times.

    Five yr old should be able to respond respectfully with people including adults MOST of the times.
    No child is polite all the time.

    There is no age young enough to learn good habits.
    It is far easier for kids to learn from other kids.
    You are blessed to have such well behaved kids around your child.

    Op....I hope you are not thinking that those girls are well behaved because they are girls and boys can't be like them.
    I have seen enough badly behaved girls and enough well behaved boys to not believe that myth.
    At such a young age all children can be well behaved or bad behaved.

    It is also important not to expect your child to become like them in all aspects.
    He may pick up a few things from them but continue doing his own thing with other stuff.
    He may teach the girls to loosen up a bit ( which will be good for them )and take things a little lightly.

    No two kids will be alike.
    Appreciate his good qualities and appreciate any good changes in him .

    Deal with negatives individually.

    If he is picky eater....deal with it as a seperate issue.
    If he does not follow commands on time ,deal with that issue seperately.
    Don't club all issues together.


    You can be a friendly but firm parent .
    That is a fine middle ground.
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2019

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