Friend With Aspergers Grits Her Teeth In Anger When Someone Disagrees With Her

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by SuiDhaaga, Apr 27, 2021.

  1. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    I feel really bad for my friend right now. I am upset and the nasty words that came out of her mouth, but I understand she is in mental pain.

    She is trying to improve herself during COVID lockdown and wishes to marry again (last one was arranged, didn't last 6 months, male was worse than the devil).

    Her aunt wanted to set up meeting with divorcee. Her parents say she should marry someone who is never married because technically speaking she was never married (male used her for GC).

    My friend is sending me furious texts that her aunt sends her clever meme's through whatsapp, talking about how great women are, yet her aunt is diminishing her value because she wanted to arrange a meeting with a divorcee with 3 kids who is 15 years older than her.

    Lucky for my friend her parents said no. Her parents are calm. My friend is not.

    She is going on and on about how there is systemic sexism because males are never taught "no", they can do no wrong even if they commit heinous crime against someone in broad daylight (I am cleaning up her language).

    My friend is better off than most people. She is beautiful, has her job, has supportive parents who cook, clean, shop for her. All she does is earn $$$.

    When I told her that gritting her teeth will ruin her beautiful face structure, she hung up on me. Now she is sending whatsup message about how sorry she is.
     
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  2. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    What does she want? If she’s capable and earning well and seemingly well read, she needs to have her own opinion on something as important as her life partner.
    Her spectrum traits don’t define her, they are just her added qualities. She needs to take charge of her own life and be assertive.
    Maybe there are divorced men out there who are on the spectrum themselves and can understand her better. Maybe there are unmarried men out there who know how to deal with someone who takes things literally. Only she can decide what she really wants in a partner. Once she decides what her criteria are, then she can deal with parents and aunts looking for matches.
     
  3. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    Sponsoring spouse for PR status cannot be done in that time frame. And it has become worse with much longer delays due to covid work schedules in the US Government. Same stories in Canada, and the UK.

    When such sponsorships happen, the new immigrant to USA would get a "conditional" PR visa, and proofs of Two Years of married cohabitation, with Joint IncomeTax filings are required to convert that to an unconditional PR visa. Not possible in the manner of "slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am" implied in the OP.
     
  4. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    She wishes to marry someone who also has aspergers so they can be more than husband - wife, more than lovers ---- 2 peas in a pod.

    She wants to progress further in IT so she can be around more professionals (who likely have aspergers or can relate to her)

    Every married moment should be blissful honeymoon ... Even when filing taxes!!!!
     
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  5. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Since she is in IT maybe she should start a dating site for aspies. Two birds with one stone!
     
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  6. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Anon forum = twist things so ID IRL gets difficult.
     
  7. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    My aspire friend married in India, returned to USA the next day (she got sick, her family suspects he food poisoned her so she leaves) while filing paperwork. She spoke on phone for year with that evil loser and failed to see red flags.

    When he arrived at airport with cinditional gc he didn't want to hug her and was ashamed to be seen with her.

    Finally all hell broke loose less than six months later.


    He is illegally here in USA
     
  8. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Platinum IL'ite

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    Brilliant!!!
     
  9. chanchitra

    chanchitra Gold IL'ite

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    Making friends as an adult is hard. I have seen some good advice on www.captainawkward.com. A good place to start is finding local meet up groups doing an activity that you enjoy (book club, crafting group, gaming group, etc).
     
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