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Friend-Snatchers ????

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Nitha J, Oct 19, 2012.

  1. OCdesigirl

    OCdesigirl Gold IL'ite

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    I have personal experience with a fb friend snatcher. We all live in the same community and most of us communicate through FB I have one friend, she has not met most of my friends but some she has, now we suddenly have 35 mutual friends on FB, I do not care if she is adding them but I do care when my friends complain to me about how annoying she is and how childish she is. She is nice one on one but in a group setting she just sits quietly. Some people are not made to mix, we all relate to and connect to our friends in different ways so when some mix with the others it makes us feel queasy lol
     
  2. fencesitter

    fencesitter Platinum IL'ite

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    Expectation is not childish.It does hurt when your best friend ditches you. Cant help. As they say, time is a great healer.
     
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  3. Geetanjalikumar

    Geetanjalikumar Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Nitha,

    Well, I guess we can not control anybody, can we?
    I do not agree with 'friend snatcher'. We do not own a friend, even a best friend and when we do not own it how can somebody snatch it from us.
    Similar incident happened with my mom too. She initially was very hurt. She felt ignored. She moved on and made new friends. My mom also did not stop introducing her new friends to those families.

    So, please advice your friend to move on. Life is too short to waste our time on such things.
     
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  4. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    I don't think it's called possesiveness here.It's just a pain and all they wanted to share with other person.
    It hurts a person for a while when so called friends ignores them.
    Especially in this country it's so hard to get people.If she had other set of frieds,loosing on person won't harm much.But when they don't have bigger group,having one or two people and loosing them would cause some pain.
    But anyway all the friedships won't stay all long.She may come back after knowing other person more deeply.Sometime again they don't like each other and come back to old friends.May be that time the friednship can grow stronger.
     
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  5. steve

    steve Platinum IL'ite

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    Some people are poor friends, in that they have an emotional need to lean on someone. These people are incapable of keeping a wider circle of friends. Their need to 'hog' their friend is so overwhelming that they completely 'get stuck' to one (or two) friends. They also get sick of each other upon overexposure to each other.

    The more stable people can maintain a wider circle of friends and be equitable to all their friends and can also keep confidences and be fair. This is healthier.

    The sooner that your friend understands this about the friend (the cling-on behavior) the sooner she will be able to get over it.
     
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  6. veeramachaneni

    veeramachaneni Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes I never experienced it but I heard my Best friend telling about some thing like this when it happened to her. Hope some one snatches my "Not so welcomed Backstabbing ""friend"" who always calls only when she needs something".
     
  7. Nitha J

    Nitha J IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes.. I do think having a larger group circle is better. That reduces expectations from one set. One cannot expect monogamy in friendship.
    But I would like to add one thing; "I "would be really mad if the "first friend" traded the personal discussions. That would be definitely a horrible thing to do.
     
  8. Nitha J

    Nitha J IL Hall of Fame

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    Anmolhai;

    I do truly appreciate the way you moved out.
    I cannot contain my curiosity ; please do not mind me asking; if your friend calls you when she needed; "did you feel she is using you" and did you ever think of "giving it back to her"? Feel free to ignore the question if it is hurting.



    /;.
     
  9. Ballereena

    Ballereena Bronze IL'ite

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    I have experienced this myself, my theory on handling this situation: Just let go voluntarily and step back and watch how far they can go with this friendship. If someone is ditching you today the same person will get sick of other person and the cycle will repeat itself very soon.
    Move on with life. Find new friends with new interests and new things to learn and share. Being stuck with same friend or group of friend will lead to misunderstanding and problems since "Familiarity breeds contempt"
     
  10. Barnowl

    Barnowl Gold IL'ite

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    Hard to reconcile that we are NOT indispensable. More so, if the party involved is someone near-and-dear. Time and maturity of mind should be the best healers, i suppose.
     

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