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Forwarded messages which were so impressive

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by rajmiarun, Jan 19, 2007.

  1. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    <!---------------- HEADERS -----------------------><!---- Mesage body starts -----------><TD width=20><TABLE cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width=20 border=0><TD width=20 height=1><TD class=sb2><!--~-|**|PrettyHtmlStartT|**|-~--><!--~-|**|PrettyHtmlEndT|**|-~-->
    !! :) !! although it, wee bit portrays someone who looks at the darker side of life rather the brighter one !! anyway just for gags..
    When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't Talk for a year and a half.

    Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.

    Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'

    I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

    Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

    I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served.

    The road to success is always under construction.

    I say no to drugs -- they just don't listen!

    Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.

    Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of your time.

    When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

    Born free; Taxed to death.

    Everyone has a photographic memory; some people just don't have film.

    Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

    Smile -- it makes people wonder what you're up to.

    I love being a writer... What I can't stand is the paperwork.

    A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

    The hardest part of skating is the ice.
    The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; the guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.

    The trouble with being punc tual is that there's no one there to appreciate it.



    If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?



    If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he'll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.




    Beat the 5 O'clock rush: leave work at noon!



    If you can't convince them, confuse them.




    It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.



    I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.



    Hot glass looks same as cold glass. (Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers)
     
  2. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    This one is interesting...
    You must try to solve this puzzle. I really had a nice time doing it. When you reach the first page you will find the instructions.

    Anywaz, I'll mention them in brief. Every page which appears will have numbers represented in a particular form … to reach the next page you have to write the next number in that series in the same form as it was represented on the previous page by editing the URL in your address bar.

    Give it a try; it will refresh your mind J

    I guess Page 23 is the last page, but it starts to get a bit tricky after the eighth page!!!

    Here is the link:
    http://www.freestuffhotdeals.com/hacker/1.html
     
  3. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Rajmiarun...

    I have read only half of the forwards. They really are good and couldn't help laughing aloud! Loved the one on the IT!

    L, Kamal
     
  4. chatkara_tasty

    chatkara_tasty Bronze IL'ite

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    dear rajmiarun,
    i spent my 2 hours to solve the puzzle . it was so interesting that i couldn't get up until i solved the puzzle . very interesting . i liked it sooooooooooo much txs for posting it .





    This one is interesting...


    You must try to solve this puzzle. I really had a nice time doing it. When you reach the first page you will find the instructions.

    Anywaz, I'll mention them in brief. Every page which appears will have numbers represented in a particular form … to reach the next page you have to write the next number in that series in the same form as it was represented on the previous page by editing the URL in your address bar.

    Give it a try; it will refresh your mind J

    I guess Page 23 is the last page, but it starts to get a bit tricky after the eighth page!!!

    Here is the link:
    http://www.freestuffhotdeals.com/hacker/1.html[/quote]
     
  5. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Heena,
    U took only 2 hours, I took close to 4 hrs for me to solve it. But my husband who is in the marketing line just took 30mins. Any way thanks. Here comes more.
     
  6. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Heena,
    U took only 2 hours, I took close to 4 hrs for me to solve it. But my husband who is in the marketing line just took 30mins. Any way thanks. Here comes more.
     
  7. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    <B>
    <B>Read out loud the text inside the triangle below. [​IMG]
    More than likely you said, "A bird in the bush," and........


    if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see that the word THE is repeated twice!
    Sorry, look again.


    Next, let's play with some words.

    What do you see?

    [​IMG]
    In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). It's all very physiological too, because it visualize the concept that good can't exist without evil (or the absence of good is evil ).


    Now, what do you see?


    [​IMG]

    You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion. Look again! Can you see why this painting is called an optical illusion?
    What do you see here?

    [​IMG]

    This one is quite tricky!


    The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.


    Last one.

    What do you see?

    [​IMG]
    You probably read the word ME in brown, but.......

    when you look through ME

    you will see YOU!


    Do you need to look again?
    ?
    <HR align=center width="100%" SIZE=2>

    ?







    </B>
    </B>

     
  8. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    Test Your Brain This is really cool. The second one is amazing so please read all the way though.


    [​IMG]

    ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST



    Count every "
    F " in the following text:

    FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
    SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
    FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
    THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...


    (SEE BELOW)

    HOW MANY ?


    WRONG, THERE ARE
    6 -- no joke.
    READ IT AGAIN !

    Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.



    The reasoning behind is further down.





    The brain cannot process "OF".

    [​IMG]


    Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!



    Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.

    [​IMG]

    Three is normal, four is quite rare.

    Send this to your friends.
    It will drive them crazy.!
    And keep them occupied
    For several minutes..!


    [​IMG]


    More Brain Stuff .. . . From Cambridge University .


    Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.



    cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The
    phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

    it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

    Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if
    you can raed tihs psas it on !!




    Psas Ti ON !
     
  9. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    SUBJECT: O MY GOD!!!




    <TABLE style="WIDTH: 100%" cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; WIDTH: 99.6%; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" width="99%"><TABLE style="WIDTH: 100%" cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><TD style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0.75pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0.75pt; WIDTH: 99.64%; PADDING-TOP: 0.75pt" width="99%">
    T his is a case of photographer photographs photographer. The following photographs were taken by photographer Hans van de Vorst at the Grand Canyon, <SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","Arizona\n. *The \n descriptions are his own. *The identity of the photographer \n IN the photos is unknown.

    <img src\u003d\"/mail/?realattid\u003d0.1.0.1&attid\u003d0.3&disp\u003demb&view\u003datt&th\u003d110784daf45e0e00\" border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"384\" width\u003d\"511\">\n
    I was simply \n stunned seeing this guy standing on this solitary rock IN the Grand \n Canyon.
    The canyon's depth is 900 meters here. The rock on \n the right is next to the canyon and safe.

    Watching this guy \n on his thong sandals, with a camera and a tripod I asked myself 3 \n questions:

    1. How did he climb that rock?
    2. Why not \n taking that sunset picture on that rock to the right, which is \n perfectly safe?
    3. How will he get back?

    <img src\u003d\"/mail/?realattid\u003d0.1.0.2&attid\u003d0.1&disp\u003demb&view\u003datt&th\u003d110784daf45e0e00\" border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"381\" width\u003d\"510\">\n
    This is the \n point of no return.

    <img src\u003d\"/mail/?realattid\u003d0.1.0.3&attid\u003d0.2&disp\u003demb&view\u003datt&th\u003d110784daf45e0e00\" border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"382\" width\u003d\"510\">\n<span style\u003d\"font-size:7.5pt;font-family:Verdana\">
    After the sun \n set behind the canyon's horizon he packed his things (having only \n one hand available) ",1]);//--></SCRIPT>Arizona . The descriptions are his own. The identity of the photographer IN the photos is unknown.

    [​IMG]
    I was simply stunned seeing this guy standing on this solitary rock IN the Grand Canyon.
    The canyon's depth is 900 meters here. The rock on the right is next to the canyon and safe.

    Watching this guy on his thong sandals, with a camera and a tripod I asked myself 3 questions:

    1. How did he climb that rock?
    2. Why not taking that sunset picture on that rock to the right, which is perfectly safe?
    3. How will he get back?


    [​IMG]
    This is the point of no return.


    [​IMG]
    After the sun set behind the canyon's horizon he packed his things (having only one hand available)<SCRIPT><!--D(["mb","
    and prepared himself for the jump. This \n took about 2 minutes.
    At that point he had the full attention \n of the crowd.

    After that, he jumped on his thong \n sandals...
    The canyon's depth is 900 meters here.

    Now \n you can see that the adjacent rock is higher so he tried to land \n lower, which is quite steep
    and tried to use his one hand to \n grab the rock.


    <img src\u003d\"/mail/?realattid\u003d0.1.0.4&attid\u003d0.4&disp\u003demb&view\u003datt&th\u003d110784daf45e0e00\" border\u003d\"0\" height\u003d\"382\" width\u003d\"510\">\n
    We've come to \n the end of this little story. Look carefully at the photographer. \n
    He has a camera, a tripod and also a plastic bag, all on his \n shoulder or in his left hand.
    Only his right hand is available \n to grab the rock and the weight of his stuff is a \n problem.

    He lands low on this flip flops both his right \n hand and right foot slips away...
    At that moment I take this \n shot.

    He pushes his body against the rock.
    He waits for \n a few seconds, throws his stuff on the rock, climbs and walks \n away.​

    </td></tr></tbody></table>\n \n

    </td></tr></tbody></table>\n \n *\n


    ",1]);//--></SCRIPT>
    and prepared himself for the jump. This took about 2 minutes.
    At that point he had the full attention of the crowd.

    After that, he jumped on his thong sandals...
    The canyon's depth is 900 meters here.

    Now you can see that the adjacent rock is higher so he tried to land lower, which is quite steep
    and tried to use his one hand to grab the rock.

    [​IMG]
    We've come to the end of this little story. Look carefully at the photographer.
    He has a camera, a tripod and also a plastic bag, all on his shoulder or in his left hand.
    Only his right hand is available to grab the rock and the weight of his stuff is a problem.

    He lands low on this flip flops both his right hand and right foot slips away...
    At that moment I take this shot.

    He pushes his body against the rock.
    He waits for a few seconds, throws his stuff on the rock, climbs and walks away.
    </P></DIV>​
     
  10. rajmiarun

    rajmiarun Gold IL'ite

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    BEWARE OF THESE BANKS
    Looking at the rising complaints against ICICI Bank, Citibank, and Standard Chartered Bank , we request consumers to properly read their documents and keep a record when dealing wi th these banks, especially regarding credit card and housing loan. These three banks are biggest defaulters and do not resolve consumer problems easily. Be aware of their terms in writing. Keep a perfect record of all correspondence with them. If they do not agree to written communication, immediately stop their services.
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    BEWARE OF NOKIA

    Nokia
    assures that their handset is covered under insurance. They even provide a certificate of insurance. But the condition is that if the handset is lost/stolen, you have to lodge an FIR to seek claims. The catch here is that the police station does not lodge FIR for loss of handsets, they only register NC. So you will never get insurance claims on basis of NC.
    Nokia
    is selling some of its degraded products that have software problems. If you come across such problem in a new set, do not waste your time in running around service centres as it is not going to help much, ask for a replacement with a new set. All those who have purchased 3230 set, have experienced that there was software problem in every set. Nokia is simply dumping the sets, which can not be sold in other countries.

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    Their confirmed bookings are highly unreliable and of no guarantee that you will be allowed to fly
    . The booked tickets get cancelled without intimation to consumer only to be known by him when he goes to the airport to catch his flight. You will not get refund immediately, if you have booked your ticket through credit card. If you call up their call centre, if you press numbers relating to refund, you will not be attended at all even if you try for hours together. If you talk to somebody regarding refund, you have to press options relating to ticket booking, so that someone will attend to you. Then you can ask for refund. They are following very good trick.

    BEWARE OF COUNTRY CLUB, BANGALORE

    They advertise that if you take their membership, a plot of land will be given free of cost near Golden Spa at Coconut Grove. Please note Golden Spa is 35 Kms from Bangalore and the said plot of land is over 100 Kms from Bangalore. Based on false promises and with arrangement with Citibank and ICICI Bank, this team cheats the consumers of his money by asking payments through credit card.


    BEWARE OF PRIVATE BUS OPERATORS/TRAVEL AGENTS

    If you book your ticket in a private bus operator, you will find that your seat is allotted to somebody else also. Many a times, though you have booked your ticket to some destination, you will dropped few kilometres away, if there are not enough passengers for your destination. Then you will have to depend on other services to reach your destination. Keep the records/proofs and give a complaint to the nearest police station, when you come back. If you find that the police is supporting the travel agent, immediately inform his higher ups or give a complaint to consumer forum. Always try to use government transportation services. They may be bad in service but will never cheat you.


    BOOK TELESALES & RECOVERY AGENTS

    If you receive unwanted advertisement / telemarketing call from any company or recovery agents. You will find it annoying especially when you are on roaming network. Ask their telephone number and report to the police. File a police complaint against the Chairman of the company.


    BEWARE OF SOME HOSPITALS

    If you happen to get admitted (or admit your family person/friend/ relative) for any operation in any hospital, keep all the records. Even if the doctor scribbles any information on a piece of paper and give it you, please keep it with you. In future, for your bad luck, if some adverse thing happens due to wrong dialysis or wrong operation, these things will come handy to fight it in a court. Please be clear that consumer forums are not of much help to you because they do not have good doctors in their panel. Many a times they do not have any doctors in their panel and even if they have, a doctor in the panel will try to help a doctor. In such a case you will have to fight tooth and nail. Hence keep all the records/proofs with you carefully.


    BEWARE OF TATAINDICOM BROADBAND and WIRELESS FIXED TELEPHONE

    Their promises to get you a broadband connection within a week is not to be relied upon. Once your money is stuck (about Rs. 2000), it takes lot of pains to recover it back. If you book Wireless fixed telephone, the Tataindicom sales person will tell you that you can send/receive fax, send/receive e-mails in other service providers' account also (for example vsnl, touchtel etc). Once you install the telephone, you will find that the instrument can not support fax machine even if connected through EPABX, you will find that you can receive e-mails in other accounts and can not send e-mails at all. You have to send e-mails only through Tataindicom e-mail service.


     

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