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Forgot my birthday

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ayeshanaaz, Jun 27, 2009.

  1. ayeshanaaz

    ayeshanaaz Junior IL'ite

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    Hi All,

    He is good/average husband. I know he loves me, but after my son was born (2yrs), he has started showing less interest in me. may be that is his nature or what i dont understand, he cannot express his feelings.

    I know he loves me, but he fails to express it. otherwise he is good.

    Love
    Ayesha​
     
  2. SupriyaDinesh

    SupriyaDinesh Silver IL'ite

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    Belated birthday wishes Ayesha.Do not worry.i recall that ,my father used to forget wedding day and birthday .So i used to remind him before so my mom doesnt get disappointed.May be you can give hint through your kid.
     
  3. Renu1999

    Renu1999 Bronze IL'ite

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    Dont take it seriously. My husband never thinks it is important to wish me on birthday/marriage day. I told him once that I am the type of person who really expects these. I didn't tell him once. I told him multiple times that wishing me on my bday is very important to me. Now slowly after 5 years he is wising me on my bday. I dont feel bad bcoz all I wanted is for him to know wishing me on bday is important.
     
  4. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Ayeshaa

    Belated birthday wishes to you dear. However though I wont support your husband much on this ..but can say only one thing we all empathize with your situation...for me some days are very special....either its his or mine (birthdays or anything else..) the first day we met, or the wedding date or the day we came to US or the day we bought our car anything and everything related to us...for that matter I even want my husband to acknowledge his parents i.e my inlaws birthdays and anniversaries...most of the times he does...even if he doesnt I ensure I make that day special...slowly he comes around....

    I do agree with few of the things our friend HAPPY has suggested...(put on a new dress tell him its ur birthday today and take him out for lunch / dinner or for an icecream...)you want to do more...get cake and blow off the candles iwth your son..lets make our day special for ourselves....
     
    Last edited: Jun 28, 2009
  5. vidhyalakshmid

    vidhyalakshmid Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi Ayesha,
    I clearly understand your feelings, because it happened to me also.
    We went on a trip to Delhi at the time of my birthday.
    But on the day he did not remember it is my birthday and he acted usual.
    From the morning itself I was waiting to receive his wishes, but in vain.
    While we were out he saw the date of that day in some posters,
    then only he remembered and apologised.But I was very upset.
    We women feel that our husbands should give importance to us.
    But I think most men (not all of them) are exactly act in opposite
    direction.
     
  6. Visu2k

    Visu2k Gold IL'ite

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    This issue is ONLY as BIG as you MAKE it to be. You remember his birthday, very well and nice of you, that shows how much you care about him and how important he is for you. But does he expect you to remember his birthday?

    See what I want to arrive at here is - for you remembering birthdays is a very nice and heart warming gesture that shows care. For him birthdays after all may not be that important at all. He may not even be caring about his own birthday. There may be many other ways that he may be showing how important you are to him. Can you remember them?

    Let me tell you, I never ever cared about my own birthday and it happened twice before my marriage that I came to my office on my birthday in normal casual clothes and was pleasantly surprised that my friend and colleagues remembered it and they conduct a grand party on the terrace for me (here I would also say that in office people keep reminders on whose birthday is next, so in fact it is not all that surprising that they remembered).

    Now after I am married I knew how much my wife sees it as endearing that I remember and wish her on her birthday. I always shuddered to forget it! And keep reminding myself that her birthday will come two months later or next month or this month (keep it in my outlook reminder). Sometimes I wonder, I am so forgetful of my own things and could very well forget my wife's birthday one day. But should my wife suddenly make me the most insensitive and heartless person just that I forgot it? I don't know answer to that, but then I wish my wife doesn't just evaluate me on the basis of whether I remember her birthday or not. I remember her everyday and probably every hour, isn't that nice enough?
     
  7. Visu2k

    Visu2k Gold IL'ite

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    Men giving importance to their wives has very little to do with remembering their birthdays. Just remember that it is forgetfulness or having different priorities (for most men like me birthdays are not a priority) and not because they don't care about you.

    You can tell him dearly - that please keep a reminder in your outlook or mobile or round it in your calendar your both birthday - and that you will feel so glad if he remembers it every year. Make him understand how important it is for you that he wishes you on your birthday but never expect that it will be a taken for granted thing. Men and women have different priorities and I find remembering birthdays is something that women feel more endearing than men do.
     
  8. Prettina

    Prettina Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Visu2k,

    What you say is agreeable but There's no point in being growing up if you can't be childish sometime.

    Girls are always very fond of special events and they like to dress well and look pretty its really special and brings happiness to them but if that person who made it special is their DH they are very happy.

    Parents who are in city almost celebrate their childrens birthday not account of their age but I do have freinds who come from village they dont celebrate by cutting cake or etc When I asked them they would proudly say that I will celebrate my first birthday after marriage in a grand manner with my DH.It really made me wonder.

    Girls always have some expectation on their hubby.All the ladies here did not mean that their husband dont love.Inspite of being busy also if you convey wishes it gives a pleasure.

    And main thing men are not so keen in showing their affection out.I dont understand why they hide their love????
    Affection should be showed in ones words and actions otherwise its useless.

    Happy that your wife is not much concerned about your wishes otherwise a post might have popped up here long back if she does foruming.
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2009
  9. Ajith

    Ajith Silver IL'ite

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    Belated birthday wishes.

    Some men dont give much importance to birthdays. I am one among them. I am not comfortable in expressing my affection and not comfortable when someone shows their affection on me. But when I got married, my wife said in no uncertain terms that she liked to celebrate birthdays and I made sure I wished her on her birthday and gave her a gift. Though it never happened before, *IF* I ever forget to wish her first thing in the morning she'll remind me that day was her birthday. She will not keep quiet all day wishing her husband remembers her birthday.

    You are 100% correct in expecting your hubby to wish you on your birthday. When it didn't happen you could have just reminded him. So what if he forgot your birthday 2 years in a row? Is it better to remind him and enjoy the rest of the evening or keep quiet and sulk on your birthday. Again I am not justifying your husband's actions. Adjust your expectation depending on the situation. Another birthday is going to come in just a year (unless you were born on Feb 29th). Start giving subtle hints at least a week before your birthday, he will get it.
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2009
  10. beniwalnikita

    beniwalnikita New IL'ite

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    Dear Ayesha,

    Belated Happy B'day!!

    My hubby also do not think it is important to celebrate & forgets his own b'day always....I mean always..

    I am afraid he may forget mine as well so I keep on giving him hint in advance to avoid situation like this.

    In fact, I do pick up phone & call all my friends in the morning to remind them of my day & take there wishes....

    You would be surprised but same way my friends also started calling me on their b'days in the morning on their own & save me from embarrassment of forgetting it.

    It does happen at times & due to general nature of being that we forget imp dates...

    I know it hurts but please do not feel so bad about it…it's o.k. just make him realsie & next time don't wait give hints in advance.

    Lots of love,

    Nikita
     

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