“Forgiving others is essential for spiritual growth. Your experience of someone who has hurt you, while painful, is now nothing more than a thought or feeling that you carry around. These thoughts of resentment, anger, and hatred represent slow, debilitating energies that will dis-empower you if you continue to let these thoughts occupy space in your head. If you could release them, you would know more peace”. – Dr. Wayne W.Dyer It is a great honor to be around in this planet when someone like Dr.Wayne W.Dyer, a great self-realized soul existed in his physical form. He passed away this month at the age of 75 leading a life that fulfilled the saying, “Live respected and die regretted”. He wrote over 30 books including the famous book, “The Power of Intention”. I thought it is a blessing that I got an opportunity to read some of his books. I thought the best way to pay rich tribute to the departed soul is to take one of his teachings and find ways and means to execute it. Forgiving is one of the essential qualities he talked about for spiritual growth. Every human being born in this world would experience hurt and pain sometimes when he/she interact with others. In fact, the life itself is designed to learn lessons out of experiences and pain and suffering is part of it. In fact, when one faces resentment, anger and hatred, one becomes very credulous to believe anything and insidious to do anything in retaliation. When thoughts of resentment, anger and hatred overwhelm, it is time to use the discriminating faculty to evaluate those feelings at length. Most of the time, more than what was said or done, it is our own reactions to such words or actions along with our past experiences with a person who said or did something make us determine the quality of what was said or did. It is important to create debate between a positive discriminating faculty and the negative emotional mind overwhelmed with such feelings. It is very important to isolate the incident far away from our past experiences and if we don’t, it impairs our judgment significantly. In everything we experience in life, there are three elements namely receipt, reaction and response. 85% of the time is spent by us in reaction as our mind is constantly assimilating the information stored and reacting to them. By altering our reactions, we can change our attitude and reaction. Let us assume for example that I decide to hurt someone verbally in response to his/her verbal assault on me. It creates further negative emotions inside of me having hurt someone in response to what he or she said to me. In addition, my reaction to his/her original words still remain intact because it was converted into strong emotions inside of me. I would rather prefer to eliminate that original emotion to bring peace in my heart than creating additional emotion by hurting someone. Dr.Wayne W.Dyer said that resentment doesn’t happen because of what someone told or did something to us and it thrives and survives because we voluntarily decide not to end the altercation. He said he had studied Patanjali’s teachings several thousand years old that when we are steadfast not to have abstention of thoughts of harm directed towards others, then all living beings cease to feel enmity around us. According to him, the human beings will occasionally slip from this highest Self into judgment, criticism and condemnation, but this is not a rationale for choosing to practice that kind of interaction. According to him, when we send love to those who hurt us, we would feel the immediate result of inner contentment. Is it possible not to judge anyone around us and lead a life of no resentment towards anyone despite them saying or doing things that are not palatable to our mind? Having experienced a lot of resentment all through my life, one thing I successfully did so far is not to react immediately and attempt forgiving the person who is responsible for my resentment. Most of the time, it was easier for me to forgive and send my love to them because many of them are not in the circle of impact in my life. But when I have resentment towards close family and friends, it takes longer for me to eliminate it. Somehow, my disappointment is more with close family and friends probably because I feel betrayed in love. Frankly, it is more important to avoid resentment with close family and friends as it would affect my peace more. I have to admit that when I remove the legacies of resentment in my mind, I feel a lot more peace and contentment.