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Forgiveness

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Viswamitra, Jun 28, 2020.

  1. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Forgiveness is a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance towards a person or a group who had harmed us, regardless of whether they deserve our forgiveness or not. Forgiving really means pardoning the unpardonable act of aggression just like believing what is unbelievable and hoping when everything seems hopeless.

    Only a person who has the attitude of forgiveness can be endowed with sacred love. This cannot be learned from textbooks nor can it be acquired from preceptors or anyone else. It is something one cultivates himself in times of difficulties, trials and tribulations that one is forced to meet. Only when we face problems and difficulties that cause grief and misery, this quality of forbearance and forgiveness has the scope for taking root. When we are confronted with problems and difficulties, we should not get upset and become victims of depression which is a sign of weakness. In such a situation, we should bring tolerance and an attitude of forgiveness into play and should not get agitated giving rise to anger, hatred and revengeful attitude. We are the embodiment of strength and not weakness. The quality of forgiveness is the greatest power for us and when we lose it, we become demonic. Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “Forgiveness is the most powerful thing we can do for ourselves on the spiritual path. If we cannot learn to forgive, we can forget about getting to a higher level of consciousness”.

    Most important in forgiveness is to learn how to forgive oneself instead of wrapping one with the cloth of guilt. That is a stumbling block for personal growth and development. Whatever we have done before, we need to learn to accept and let go. We are not perfect, and we can make mistakes. We need to learn not to hide from the shadows of the past. Let us not get trapped in the darkness of shattered memories and let the light pass through and shine upon us. Forgiving oneself is the only way to step into the future from the past by pressing the pause and then the play button.

    Forgiving others is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness. There are several steps involved in the process of forgiving. First, one should understand the emotions associated with hurt feelings and make a commitment to feel better. Forgiveness is not necessarily reconciling with the person who offended us but recognizing that our distress is due to our own emotions and thoughts and letting them go. It helps us reduce the expectations from someone who hurt us earlier and know allowing such emotions to prolong is equivalent to giving away the power to someone else.

    Forgiveness does not mean ignoring what had been done or putting a false label on an evil act. It means, the evil act no longer remains as a barrier to the relationship. Forgiveness is a catalyst creating the atmosphere necessary for a fresh start and a new beginning. We forgive others, not because they deserve it, but because we deserve peace. Sometimes, we may forgive someone and still not want to have anything to do with them. Forgiveness is about freeing ourselves of pain. It is not about making room for someone painful in our future. Forgiving is not an act of weakness, but it shows our strength to come out of our emotions, become stronger recognizing the mistakes committed by others, and forgive them to set ourselves free.

    One should forgive, under any injury. It has been said that the continuation of the species is due to man’s being forgiving. Forgiveness is holiness; by forgiveness, the universe is held together. Forgiveness is the might of the mighty; forgiveness is sacrifice; forgiveness is quiet of mind; forgiveness and gentleness are the qualities of the self-possessed. They represent eternal virtue. The greatest benefit is the presence of balance in life. The practice of forgiveness gives us a sense of equanimity. We can take happiness and joy in a neutral manner. It gives us the courage to face the challenges of life. It raises our EQ (emotional
    quotient) and results in the manifestation of Love for all.
     
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  2. umaakumar

    umaakumar Gold IL'ite

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    Wonderful write up on forgiveness.
    But most difficult to practice. I have crossed many difficult paths and met many a villains. Many a bitter experiences.
    I have been moving forward brushing all the negativity aside.
    But have I forgiven them, I really do not know. I seldom think of them and some who are close family members, I am nice to them when they visit.
    Forgiving is a very difficult thing to practice though everyday I think I should forgive others I don't know if I can.
     
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  3. harithab

    harithab Silver IL'ite

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    Appreciate much for the good and positive write-up. :clap2:
    But in the current world, for any human being, it is difficult to stick onto and follow the good rules of life forever except for saints.
    At some point of life, it is sure that there may be a situation where one will never be able to forgive another person's deeds ! Then, there wont be any forgiveness, just close that chapter of life & goes on with the flow. Just my personal perspective.
     
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  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    I agree forgiveness is not easy. But once I think it is for my peace, the perspective changes. Instead of recalling the hurt million times in life, letting go that emotion only for our own peace instead of physically telling the person that he/she was forgiven should be done. Even though we move along with life, recalling it often is not good for our health. Forgiving is only inside of us and not for communicating with the person concerned.
     
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  5. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you for your perspective. Yes. There are many situations where one will never be able to bear another person's act. Adversities do happen to all of us in life. Every person could narrate an incident about an unforgivable act of meanness by another person in life. If we keep that emotion deep inside in our subconscious mind, we will end up recalling it often resulting in blocking our growth and development. What are we gaining by holding on to that grudge and how does it help us? I am not talking about letting other people know that he or she is forgiven but letting ourselves free from that emotion.
     
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  6. harithab

    harithab Silver IL'ite

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    Exactly @Viswamitra , I meant the same too...
    No use of holding on to the grudge to anyone..
    Thats why I wrote in my initial reply - " just close that chapter of life & go on with the flow" :innocent:
     
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  7. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @Viswamitra

    Kudos to yet another brilliant writeup that discusses the necessity of forgiving to enjoy peace and reach higher level of consciousness.

    2. Desideratum proved beyond even an iota of doubt.

    3. But the as @umaakumar says it is not easy to forget but one however can try to bid a go by to proceed in life.

    4. To forgive might be easy but to forget is wellnigh difficult. Many forgive and with bad memories hindering their peace and aplomb even at times get depressed and paranoid.

    5. Would forgive turn a pre requisite to forget.

    6. As of now, World has turned miserable to many as Trumph is not forgetting and forgive but tends to award punish eternally and rejoice.

    I enjoyed the write up for its analysis in-depth.

    A Beautiful Sentence By 'God' "You Forgive All Before You Sleep, I Will Forgive You Before You Wake Up".
    (Profile post of a bronzite IL)

    Thanks and Regards.
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2020
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  8. iyerviji

    iyerviji Finest Post Winner

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    Awesome write up. True we should forgive and forget though.it is easy to say but difficult to practice. I like people and as far as possible dont like to have that situation
     
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  9. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you for clarifying.

    Viswa
     
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  10. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Thyagarajan Sir,

    Thank you for your response. I agree forgiveness is not an easy task but essential for our own peace and set ourselves free. If we have memories of our misery, all associated emotions such as anger and hatred will remain with us hurting us much later. The purpose of our internal forgiveness is to forget those emotions so that it no longer hurts. Anything that is stored in our subconscious mind becomes a powerful memory that lingers for a long time. Even if we exhibit anger and hatred, does it go away? Those emotions prevent one from enjoying the present moment. I am a believer that each experience will have to be dealt with separately. If one person does something wrong in one particular instance, does it mean he or she has no goodness in him/her? We need to resolve the issue and not the person. We generally end up labeling people instead of addressing a particular behavior.

    We don't have to accept bad behavior or offensive words or actions or make it normal but can deal with it inside us by forgiving them so that we are ready to move forward with other experiences. It doesn't even need to be communicated. Forgiveness and forbearance are not easy but important traits one should possess in order to grow spiritually.
     
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