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For Those Who Wonder...the Good Things About Being Single Again

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by BhumiBabe, Oct 1, 2019.

  1. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

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    Absolutely, if one door is closed another door opens. Life has to go on irrespective of ups and downs. Life has different phases, we need to go through all phases (childhood, teenage, married life, old age etc), so marriage is just a phase of life which clicks for someone and may not click for others, that's it. So failure in marriage should not change your status in any way as a human, you are still the same person, same girl born with lots of hopes and expectations who always looks forward in life for a better tomorrow.

    Forget about marriage, end of the day no one is going to live permanently on this earth. We all come and go one day, so enjoy your life and live to the fullest. Be happy always.
     
    CoolPie, sindmani, Star25 and 9 others like this.
  2. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    Like I said, these are surprising yet positive results for me personally. They may seem mundane to others who already experience them. They feel like little blessings to me.
     
    SinghManisha, Laks09, Rihana and 2 others like this.
  3. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    @BhumiBabe
    Good thread and You are inspiring the women who hesitate to come out from a unhappy married life . Live happily how you want to be and best wishes to your future. Hope you will find a right person/soulmate soon.:)
     
  4. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear OP

    If you were tied and locked inside a dark room called marriage, then leaving that room and breathing some fresh air in the name of separation itself feels heavenly.
    For those who breath naturally and live normal won't feel this mundane breathing thing as heaven. So, they don't understand what you are talking about.

    From your thread, I could sense the severity of your marital problems. Because you are feeling good about not having to cook, or being able to talk to cousins etc..
    In fact, many married woman here (including me) do the same and many more at our own independence.
    That's how a marriage should be. Else, it would suffocate for death.
    It is clear that you have made the right choice, and God bless you for life.
     
  5. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

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    @BhumiBabe - glad to hear that you are finding your happiness. It’s the little things that make the difference in our morale.
    Been there done that. I was only married to my ex for less than 2 years but separation and eventually divorce felt so great.
    The freedom to buy whatever I wanted for myself or my family, making my own decisions (small or big small), not worry about someone else’s mood/ anger...it made my life so peaceful.
    I also learned that all this is possible (plus more) when you are with a right person in a relationship where you’re valued. My husband now is my best friend.
     
  6. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    This is wonderful to look forward for. I am so happy that you have found the right person for you. You are right, the little things make a big impact on my overall well-being.
     
    SinghManisha and Rihana like this.
  7. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

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    Initially I was under parents control, then ex-husband control. Now is the time that I am truly enjoying my freedom and pursuing my dreams and wishes. these are the things I am loving loving loving

    solo travel - ex always used to fight and ruin my vacations
    hiking now - ex never let me do anything except visit his friends and family
    clubbing now - ex doesnt like loud music or dancing so never came
    volunteering now - ex never liked me going out on weekends, wants me to cook and clean whole time
    phone/chatting freely - no hovering around
    wearing cool sexy clothes now - ex never liked me wearing shorts or mini skirts etc
    trying bold makeup now - ex never liked if I wear red lipstick.
    new friends circle - got lots of like minded single friends and its awesome
    dating - those awesome dates and romance .. wow
    hope and positivity - feeling that i have a chance to find the right person and not in a deadend marriage
    no inlaws - no more interactions with inlaws, huge relief for rme
    help parents - my ex always stopped me from sending money or gifts to my parents, now i send whatever i want
    cook/clean - ex never ate old food and never helped in cleaning. now i cook once in 2-3 days and cleaning is minimal
    cooking my favorite food - ex and me had diff tastes in food, but now i only cook my favorites
    Pooja - ex was atheist and criticized my pooja routines but now I do it freely
    sleep - ex was early riser and always criticized me for sleeping in, now i wake up 12pm and its so liberating
    parenting style - ex and me had so many fights about raising our child, now i dont need to hear his advice on it
    finances - ex always hid his money and made me do all expenditures and drained me. now he is paying child support, karma LOL
    assets - ex used to buy assets and never tell me. that hurt a lot, now I care a damn.
    peace of mind - just the thought that him and his family are not in my life is so good.
     
    Star25, Aarushi, omnam and 11 others like this.
  8. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    You listed everything that I feel right now. There really is so much to be thankful for. Life is good, even if it’s not easy.
     
    Star25, SinghManisha, shravs3 and 4 others like this.
  9. Vaikuntha

    Vaikuntha Platinum IL'ite

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    You go girl!
     
    SinghManisha likes this.
  10. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    @BhumiBabe BB, what a refreshing, positive, upbeat, candid, uncontrived and view-point altering thread! One of the best ever in the Relationships section. It is leading to a compilation of points that many will benefit from -- women who have opted to remain single, newly single, contemplating single-hood, and even those not seriously thinking about it.

    For the ones contemplating single-hood, the thread is an acknowledgement of the limitations/restrictions that are nagging them but they are not sure if it is right/OK to be bothered so much by these to think of separating. Often, women in this situation need an "approval" of their dissatisfaction.

    For those who are not thinking about separating but feel too restricted in their marriage now and then, it is a great compilation of "wish I could/ wish I didn't have to" that they can thoughtfully look through, and identify a few to indulge in without feeling guilty.

    I have two single friends who have been single by choice for a long time now after brief marriages. One I have noticed drops everything and travels at short notice. Some natural phenomenon happening somewhere, she suddenly decides to go, books tickets and goes. A late planner, she rarely gets regular hotel rooms. So, she takes any option that becomes available including a couch in a house with just a retired male living in it. The other friend goes against all traditional financial advice. Hasn't bought a house or apartment, pays ridiculous rent to live where she wants, and clearly tells all that her place is off-limits and she cannot be bothered to keep it clean enough for visitors. : ) LOL we meet her in the guest lounge of her apartment complex.

    The solo travel stood out for me in this thread, and I have put it at the top of next year's try-to-do. : )

    Been humming this song since I read this thread last week:


    The song's refrain: *Ek Baar Baby Selfish Hoke Apne Liye Jiyo Na is sung just so well. Not advice, not pleading, not pleasing, just a notion to consider.

    *For once, baby, turn selfish and live for yourself..
     

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