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For all unhappy women - how to be happy in spite of everything - Step 6

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by winpie, Feb 16, 2012.

  1. winpie

    winpie Silver IL'ite

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    Happy - Always!
    When I started the first blog in this series, I really was motivated by the unhappiness that seems to reverberate in so many of the posts here. Though the words varied, it was clear that most of these people wanted succor - some way to dig themselves out of the bottomless hole of misery that was their life. As the series progressed through the second, third, fourth and fifth step, and I saw the number of views increasing, I realized that people do want to be happy and are attracted to something that hints at it.

    At the end of the fifth step, the hope was that the reader - you - would have discovered for themselves that though unhappiness can be created by other people's actions and attitudes, happiness, on the other hand lies within ourselves. That each one who went through the series would get what they needed to begin their own journey to happiness. That each one took away certain tricks to keep unhappiness at bay.

    This is a journey I have undertaken and it took me almost a decade to perfect! At the beginning I was full of despair. I did not feel that life was worth living - that I was not worth the effort it took to get through the day! There were days when I debated furiously with myself whether it really was worth going on.

    When I look back today, I regret so many things. I regret that I looked at life so cheaply. I regret it that during my times of intense unhappiness, I must have made my children unhappy. I regret that I did not follow the steps I have outlined here a lot earlier than I did. Most of all, I regret having spent so many years being unhappy, when I could have spent them being happy myself and giving others happiness too.

    I often think - if only I had understood all these things sooner. Or, maybe, that someone had told me all these things that I have learned through this process. ..... And then I think of all those women out there, who are passing through the same experiences, and want to be that person who helps them get through their problems.

    This last step in this series, is one of consolidation. Those who do travel the route, will have gained valuable skills in dealing with their unhappy lives and rising above their unhappiness to lead cheerful, happy lives.

    But will the sources of their unhappiness change? Most likely not!

    So, does that mean they are doomed to fight this battle again and again and again? Hopefully not.....

    Practice makes perfect, and those who rise out of their misery once, become mentally stronger. Just as it is easier to find a place you have been to before, than going there the first time, so does this experience of winning make it easier the next time. And putting these tricks into practice soon becomes second nature.

    There is every chance that actions and attitudes of those around will remain the same. There is every chance that these people will continue to hurt and humiliate and generate unhappiness. Most likely, you will get fed up of fighting the same battle again and again. IS there anything you can do to change that?

    Maybe, yes!

    It has been my observation that it is only when people have some 'issues' they are unable to cope with, that they resort to denigrating the vulnerable ones in their arena. This becomes a way of regaining their own self worth. A happy person never has the inclination to hurt another.

    So, as a final step in this journey to happiness, it is imperative that we know the reason behind such hurtful behaviour. The reason might be as simple as stress or lack of self-confidence. The perpetrator might be totally unaware of these reasons!

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