Foodie Mumma Son My Husband ...plz Help Me Out

priyanka123456 · May 10, 2023

Hello everyone here..i dnt know if am right or wrong..i will tell everything ..plz give me ur suggestions..Iam 33yrs old now..from my childhood i am a pampered little girl to my parents..they always asked me to only read and settle in life..ok..so after marriage now starts..dnt know house works like handling issues or cooking ..and even of its cooking mil always comments the things .am very irritated person also .slight touch to my emotions i burst out .i thot ok mil means they wil b like this only i thot .and life went on..i was unable to conceive for 10 yrs .in middle mil died also..and i got pregnant after 10yrs..my husband also was praying so much for the special day..and day arrived.
Now problem is Iam staying at my mother house from pregnacy bcz of no mil...now i have to stay here only with my parents and along with me my hubby also stays here..it's almost 2yrs v r staying here...now my baby is 8mnths old and still she sleeps only at 1am daily and i have to go tkt offce early mrng itself ..so mrng i shud do duty..i come from duty again with baby only....no me time at all..
Am very much concerned about my baby her growth and all ..and i dnt think too much Bout food .i just get ready and run to duty..
My husband prepares me breakfast everyday and give to me..he was very nice and caring..now as baby is small she is not able to get sleep ..and night my husband looks after her. sleep off at 12am...she sleeps at 1 or 1.30..lkke this he does work...everyone thinks he is gem he is good...
But I reallyfeeling depressed inside .
Now his mentality is he is not satisfied with my mom or dad cooking .he lost his mother and he wants same foods wat his mom prepared..this is too much..my mom is senior citizen...dats y they r not taking so much tensions and all..my husband cudnt understand this .
They r so much aged...they cook as they know..he is very adamant that his mom only cooks well...now am alone ...no one respects me..am having months baby so sleeping late nd waking mrng to leave offce...
Now he is expecting his mom s dishes..am really depressed nd unexpected that he will bikr this..

priyanka123456 · May 10, 2023

Sorry for such long post but plz read my agony and tell..iam educated so much..earn so much but still fate of women is hell..now i have a daughter precious baby..am worried about her life in society .y is this dat always women are blamed..man is human..woman is all human..my mother is so much aged...they cook wat they know..my husband dnt know y he is behaving like dat...i used to love my husband earlier wen v wer alone..bt now his behaviour is very narrow minded..he is obese also..he is saying bcz he doesn't like that food he is not eating well and dats y getting obese..see i dnt like this society telling only women has to cook and fey have responsibility..now women also career oriented..so y they only cook...he sud also plan and cook ..he also says that he will cook ..but wat will I answer my parents..v r living in same house..my mom.was.takkg.care of our previous baby for these months..and recently she guidmiss and fell down and.hurt and her BP. is raised ..and so v kept. Nanny to look after baby..still my hubby is like this..am too much worried now.amd depresse..he is work from home option..y do men feel if they stay at inlaws house...this is too too much..now v shud be thinking.pf baby future
How to make her to good child..her food and her education.
But he is worrie about his only..ego..really.i.feel
To leave him..i lost all my love for him..really hell frustrated..for outsiders he bahaves like they say he is gem..that this..but I know wat am suffering silently..baby is just 7mmthds..after she grpws up and have a time scsheldue even i cam do anything..can't he wait for 3more years for sake of family and precious baby...

MalStrom · May 10, 2023

You should hire a cook and teach her to cook according to your tastes. And also keep a full time helper for your baby.

DDream · May 10, 2023

"My husband prepares me breakfast everyday and give to me..he was very nice and caring..now as baby is small she is not able to get sleep ..and night my husband looks after her. "

He is doing his part after his daytime job. You are lucky to have a supporting husband. If you check other posts here, you will find complaints on h, not doing anything.

"he also says that he will cook ..but wat will I answer my parents"
If he is ready to cook what's the problem, he can cook. Encourage him so that his complaints on food will end. May be your parents and you can take rest. Its quite normal to long for food we are used to. Your h is preparing bf, taking care of baby and supporting you in other ways. He is only asking food of his preference. You can tell him, you understand, thanks for his support and tell him, he can cook his favourites on Saturday or sunday( a few times oer week not all days) , you will supoort him and not easy on working days as you also very busy.

If not, hire helps for cooking or other duties. Looks like you are exhausted, quite normal postpartum situation. Avoid over thinking, take it easy.

I dont undestand why you are so sad? Overthinking due to postpartum depression, if any? Takecare

priyanka123456 · May 10, 2023

Hi....he said he will cook but only for himself and me..bcz my dad doesn't like our cooking..he comments anything bad...so he is not ready to serve everyone...weekends non veg is good..he eats well only..weekdays veggies curries he doesn't eat properly...he was a man who never throws away food...but now a days he is throwing away the food also..really am entangled like anything ...food is not dat much bad...daily am.also eating the same...it's not dat bad so dat one will throw away...am not liking this kind of attitude..he says he has lots of ofce work tension job..den y to unecsary stress keeping this..these many days my mom and hubby looked after my baby...daily he was murmuring dat am only taking care of child..mom is jus feeding solids .i have to play with her..am temsed with ofce work..dats y i kept nanny spending my money..am dng this to relieve his physical tension

Now again he strtd with cooking one.
.how if he is gng on gng gng like this..surely i can't cook bcz i wake up late as v both sleep late due to baby who sleeps at 1 am only..so i wake up dress up and he leaves me to ofce ..i do this only..in this how can he expect his mom's food from my aged mom she is 70 plus now...
I am a human..and so iam eating watever they cook..bcz am depending on dem ..i can't put a meal plan or rules to cook bcz of der age..cooking itself is plus for me..

MalStrom · May 10, 2023

You cannot expect your mom to do all the cooking at her age. It looks like your husband is frustrated in general with staying in your parents home. Can you move to a separate house nearby?
As for the food, ask him to make a list of all the dishes he wants to eat and engage a cook for the time being.
His complaining about food seems to be a symptom of some other dissatisfaction. Perhaps seeing your mom is making him miss his mother even more. You can try gently talking to him and ask him what he feels would be a good solution.

lavani · May 10, 2023

I do not see anything wrong with your Spouse. I see you acting like a victim more than him. he is doing his duty as a spouse taking care of you in some ways, helping his child and working .

What is wrong in expecting good tasty food if he likes. what is wrong in he seeing his parents also. you should both live alone and rotate your in laws.

as DDream madam, said you could have Post partum depression . Diagnose that and take help.

your family is your spouse and child. your parents and his parents are extended family . understand that . from what i see , your dh is supportive. It is big deal for men too to live in in laws house.

shyamala1234 · May 10, 2023

lavani said: ↑

I do not see anything wrong with your Spouse. I see you acting like a victim more than him. he is doing his duty as a spouse taking care of you in some ways, helping his child and working .
Yes....engage a cook, teach her cooking according to your tastes. Hire a nanny.
Problem ends. You can enjoy your baby. What is there to tense up, overthinking and on and on...as if there is no solution!!!!
Syamala

What is wrong in expecting good tasty food if he likes. what is wrong in he seeing his parents also. you should both live alone and rotate your in laws.

as DDream madam, said you could have Post partum depression . Diagnose that and take help.

your family is your spouse and child. your parents and his parents are extended family . understand that . from what i see , your dh is supportive. It is big deal for men too to live in in laws house.
Click to expand...

blackbeauty84 · May 10, 2023

Why don't you shift near by to your parents? Your husband doesn't like mom's cooking, your dad doesn't like husband cooking so why not separate house near by. Hire a cook and ask your husband to teach her. Also in the weekends once you have caught some sleep, cook in bulk as per your husband's taste
Elderly parents cannot take care of kids independently. Hire a care taker and ask your parents to monitor. If money is not an issue, stay at home maid can be looked at. Initial two years of kids life everyone in the family lose sleep. Most of the problems will be solved if people are well rested.

priyanka123456 · May 10, 2023

Madam..telling is easy dat spouse is supportive means is it great that a man is taking care of baby...how is that it's only a mother shud take care of baby .even they need a baby ...even am a human..i also get frustrated..but daily complaining wats happening at home is too much. Ya staying at my parents house may be it is pricking him..but if i see for his mind ..i think only about my baby now .i dnt want my baby to be jailed in a independent house...i want her to stay with grandparents..siblings..if my hubby changes his attitude everything will settle .his expectations are more .even in this generation..expecting all these ..daily he complains that a my elder sister daughte pulled her hand...they keep small objects near her and forget..it's our duty to remove all that wen v see ..he is doing work from home..and about rotations between inlaws .my mil expired ..so he is missing his mom andher food . She makes tasty food an dhe is habituated...earlier v w er alone .he was happy with my cooking. Weras i cook by watching YouTube .now he wantedly making thses scenes of not liking food and all..