Food - The Binding Factor

jskls · Nov 17, 2025

Usually the phone never rings. No matter how many texts or calls to the kid, it hardly gets through and the texts never gets answered. Finally the phone rings. “Can you tell me how to make this dish, what do I need to buy? etc, etc.. and also can you bring some palm sugar when you come?”.

Another day, another call arrives unexpectedly during a midday. Mom “how do you know if a ridge gourd is tender and not bitter as well? What’s that ingredient in your ridge gourd dish that makes it tasty ”. I was baffled and realized there are still some things AI hasn’t mastered yet.

It’s a mother’s cooking that significantly shapes a child’s early taste preferences. Though it’s a mix of nature and nurture, moms kitchen is a first start. We all have that one dish our mom or dad makes that nobody else can even come close to matching in flavor. It’s etched in our memories.

Food has always been a binding factor for families. It’s not just the final act of eating together. For me, its the process of making a meal together that matters. I recalled how my dad and grandfather shared a wonderful connection over cooking. Likewise, growing up, I remember my uncle insisting I make his favorite dish on special days—while he pitched in to help me cook. Once I finished, he’d happily share it with everyone, proudly declaring that his “daughter” (that’s how he saw his niece) had come all this way just to make it for him. Navaratri, Diwali, Thanksgiving, Xmas or even Sankranthi feels incomplete without families bonding over a special meal.

I know a few who aren’t really into food, and it’s not a big bonding thing for them. Yet I’ve noticed there are a few dishes they truly savor. These days, home-cooked meals are just a tap away—delivered daily and surprisingly affordable. It makes me wonder if today’s kids will still cherish those irreplaceable memories of Mom’s / Dad’s cooking—or if food will remain a powerful way to bond, even if it’s far from the only one.

Thyagarajan · Nov 17, 2025

@jskls
Thank you. Nostalgic indeed.

Viswamitra · Nov 18, 2025

Dear Lakshmi:

it is such a pleasure to read your snippet. It flows through naturally with a lot of emotions what you said about process of making food together. I use my cooking skills every Sunday to make me feel good of preparing and serving the food out of my own hands with a lot of love. It is not about how they reciprocate but how I feel when I do that action. By Guru told us all that the mothers are living God. Bonding through any activity is always special.

When my son left for college, I wrote a very special letter to him saying how much we miss him at home and he is always welcome home. We kept his room unused and in the conditions he left. I learned that trick out of my attending parental orientation in the college. I also did one extra step by buying a season ticket for a football game to bring him back to his home town as frequently as possible. Besides, I get an exclusive 7 hours of time with him to talk anything and listen to what he had to say.

Thyagarajan · Nov 20, 2025

Viswamitra said: ↑

We kept his room unused and in the conditions he left.
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When he returned from college he my son entered his room and found his working table wiped clean. He was trying to read from the wiped table surface.

He darted out and loudly demanded to know who cleaned the room and wiped the table clean.
Our domestic help Laksmi with hard broom in her hand had softly responded in Tamil to my son, "brother, I just did wipe the dirt from table top". He shouted back, "no need to clean or enter my room in my absence. You had wiped the phone number I wrote on dirt on the table, which is difficult to get."

Kohvachn · Nov 21, 2025

jskls said: ↑

It’s etched in our memories.
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So is your "no no not ekadesi" vadas in my head!

jskls · Nov 21, 2025

Thyagarajan said: ↑

@jskls
Thank you. Nostalgic indeed.
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Thank you sir

jskls · Nov 21, 2025

Viswamitra said: ↑

Dear Lakshmi:

it is such a pleasure to read your snippet. It flows through naturally with a lot of emotions what you said about process of making food together. I use my cooking skills every Sunday to make me feel good of preparing and serving the food out of my own hands with a lot of love. It is not about how they reciprocate but how I feel when I do that action. By Guru told us all that the mothers are living God. Bonding through any activity is always special.

When my son left for college, I wrote a very special letter to him saying how much we miss him at home and he is always welcome home. We kept his room unused and in the conditions he left. I learned that trick out of my attending parental orientation in the college. I also did one extra step by buying a season ticket for a football game to bring him back to his home town as frequently as possible. Besides, I get an exclusive 7 hours of time with him to talk anything and listen to what he had to say.
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Thanks Viswa sir, when you prepare and serve food with love I am sure tummies fed will be content and happy.
Fathet-Son bonding is so spl and I am glad you are blessed with uninterrupted time with your son to share great moments. We all have that empty space in our nests hoping to see it gets filled during holidays and other special days
Thanks for your feedback

jskls · Nov 21, 2025

Kohvachn said: ↑

So is your "no no not ekadesi" vadas in my head!
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I know every Ekadasi I would remember your innocent question on vada … இதுவா?

Kohvachn · Nov 24, 2025

jskls said: ↑

… இதுவா?
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what's a post about food without the pics!

If I had to choose between my mom’s homemade vadas and a plate of ordered falafels, it would just depend on the mood of the day for me, and I’ll cherish both dishes - for the warmth, the nostalgia, or just the taste. But Gen Z, you ask? Hmmmm, I ain't got no clue really. They’re a surprise package any day, and I’m lost trying to figure out why they like/trend anything in the first place!