Following Untouchability? Here I am....Ancient Experiences in Modern Times

It is really sad to see you,drnamshara an educated doctor thinking like this.

As for your husband....I guess the sickness to trouble,use blackmail etc...runs in his family.
Next time you don't sit in the corner or sleep on the floor. If you have extra place ,like a room...turn it into your 'period' room and ban him from ever entering it.Get a comfy bed...turn into your own little nook.....and then have month long periods.Let him slave.You keep some snacks and fruits for yourself in case he can't cook for you in time. Shift the tv into your period room...tell him to stay away.Make the computer your 'period' computer.....

 

Dear OP,
Stay in a hotel these four days, pay it from your pocket. Just say you can't see so many people suffering because of your periods. This way everyone in your home and your home will be pure. If you have holidays go to your parents home, or an excursion or trip by yourself to some holiday spot or friends place.
I would have taken my annual leave and loss of pay and gone to my parents house and trips on my pay check. This rules by your Husband and MIL will vanish in thin air pretty soon!

 

I agree with the practical aspects of the above post, I would like to expand further

The custom of seclusion of the woman menstruating originated to PROTECT the woman, and not to ostracize her. The woman is more susceptible to infections by bacteria and fungi when she is menstruating, as her immunity is low.

Thus our ancients in all their wisdom tried to protect her from the other members of the family including her children by sealing off her corner of the home, not letting others touch her,and avoiding outside contact. They did what they knew best during those times( also the tamarind and turmeric).As she is the MOST PRECIOUS and valued member of the family.

Also evolutionally speaking, it has been documented that women hundreds of years ago had periods for several days (20-30 days) and were period free for longer, so made sense to go to such lengths to protect the woman.

Now with the advent of antibiotics and sanitary napkins such issues are reduced and can be cured.

It just saddens me that these ancient practises which came in place to protect the woman are being used to ostracize the woman and give her a hard time.

 

Hi All,

I never had to follow any of these customs till marriage. The only thing my father would tell is not to go inside the kitchen and puja room. Rest everything was up to me.

I know of these customs in our religion and have been forced to follow them only after marriage. First few times I felt deprived of freedom, losing individuality etc.. But then, my family is very loving towards me. My husband takes care of me in every way. This love and affection from my inlaws is sometimes more than what i experienced in my father's place.

I began feeling that what i do by being an untouchable for 4 days in a month is a very small sacrifice to bask in the love of this family. They want to do all work and leave me at peace.

I now have no problem with being an untouchable. My following their ways makes the whole family happy. Initially my MIL and FIL had issues with some of my habits initially. But when they saw that i follow these untouchability rules strictly as per their wish, now they do not mind my habits of bed coffee, roaming around in shorts (knee length ofcourse), sleeveless clothes, etc.. I am of the opinion that peace in daily life is more important than my right to make my own coffee for 4 days.

 

That is sad dear....You traded your self respect for the love that should have be yours even without this trade off.What kind of love is this?

Please don't trade your daughter's self respect for love if you can.Love her irrespective of whether she wants to be untouchable or not.

 

@YM,

There is no trading of self respect when anything is done out of love.

 

Reading your post makes me feel things are never going to improve for the women in this country.........
Sorry if my post offends you. Don't mean to hurt you...just feel really sad.

 

Seriously wierd.! Next someone will say that I'm jumping Into my husbands funeral pyre cos I love him.. As if there is no longer anything called self respect.. Its one thing to struggle against something wrong lovingly but its another to say I don't mind being an untouchable.

 

All these work in households where there is a support system involved. Would the MILs and husbands insist that these be followed in nuclear households? It isnt practical, so then, does impurity not matter then?