Follow In The Footsteps

यद्यदाचरति श्रेष्ठस्तत्तदेवेतरो जनः ।
सयत्प्रमाणं कुरुते लोकस्तदनुवर्तते ॥ BG 3.21 ॥
yadyadācarati śreṣṭhastattadevetaro janaḥ |
sayatpramāṇaṃ kurute lokastadanuvartate || BG 3.21 ॥
यद्यद् आचरति श्रेष्ठः तत्तत् एव इतरः जनः । स यत् प्रमाणं कुरुते लोकः तत् अनुवर्तते ॥
yatyat—whatever; acarati—actions; sresthah—respectable leader;
tattat— that and that alone; eva—certainly; itarah—common; janah—person;
sah—he; yat—whichever; pramanam—evidence; kurute—does perform;
lokah—all the world; tat—that; anuvartate—follow in the footsteps.
Whatever action a respectable leader does, the common men follow in his footsteps.
And whatever standards he sets by his extraordinary acts, the whole world imitates.
Bhagavad Gita 3.21

Kids need someone to imitate and follow practical behavior.
A parent cannot tell a kid to stop wasting time on digital media if they are also spending a lot of time online.
Unless the parent stops and engages, the child will not follow. I always advise this to parents...

I tell them that kids will not do 'what you SAY', kids will do 'what you DO'!

I have never shared this anywhere before .... but I was reminded of it when I read @anika987 's post that her daughter is not showing interest in carnatic music...

(Nothing to detract @anika987 's effort, commitment or troubles, I am just sharing my story)

My son stopped his carnatic classes when he was 12 (mainly because all the other boys stopped and there were only girls in his senior batch), but I continued singing the songs he had already learnt ...
I would write a song on a whiteboard/blackboard along with the notation, raga, composer etc - I would sing, practice aloud whenever he was at home while cooking or while hanging around - no shruti box, no sitting cross-legged, just foot tapping instead of formal talams

... and when possible, late evenings or even early mornings (Yes, in the rush to school morning routine !), I would sit crosslegged, with the shruti box and formal talam and practice for half an hour while he would get ready!

Notice that he played no part here - he was just an observer !

He would sometimes ignore, sometimes he would sing along, sometimes he would correct me ...

I would record the song in my voice and ask him for feedback... We would also record some movie songs together - he would sing the male part, I would do the female part - and my DH would appreciate it... My mom and my DH's sister are musically trained, so they both would also give me feedback, ask me to sing when they visited... he would also join in the discussions.....

I would record my songs for any pooja or birthday etc for various family ocassions and ask him for advice to choose a song or pitch or which recording to send on family whatsapp groups....
Also, I would visit our music mami for guru poornima or birthday etc and would take him along... (I go even now, and he comes along if he is home)

Notice that he still played no part here - just an observer + sometimes commenter, sometimes male singer !

Consistently done for 2 years, at 14, when his voice changed, he told me that he is having trouble choosing the pitch for specific songs... I took him along to discuss with our music mami what shruti he should use for which song etc and later he consulted her on his own.... he would phone or text her whenever he had trouble with the pitch of a song

I continued my practice even through his voice change and after that ...

During covid, he was in higher classes and got busy with studies, and I stopped everyday singing in the closed spaces as DH was also working from home...... but some weekends, we would sing some old movie songs together and he would join in enthusiastically

I never knew where he sang, when he practised ... but he developed his own preferences of music - whistling, music apps etc...

Now he is 20, he has a repertoire of carnatic kritis for any pooja if someone asks him to sing... he participates in fusion music type of programs at college, in antakshari or bhajan during family functions, he has a set of songs prepared according to the audience and sings them without hesitation.... But all that is incidental ....

I didnt do all this purposely, but My DH noticed when son was around 16-17 - that music became 'our' thing !

We both start singing together impromptu (his pitch is totally different from mine now, it is impossible to get it aligned unless the song is suitable...) and even now we manage to have a good hour of musical fun without any books/references/phone while cooking or walking or some cleaning activity together or even just sitting around...

My DH looks on indulgently and tells me - maybe years later when he is far away from us, and he hears a strain of an old song, he will have some good feelings and nostalgia...

Hence BG 3.21 proved in real life

Keep smiling
HR