Fishes and Females

Fishes and Females​

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There are so many sayings which are so relevant even today. Grapes are Sour, and There are many a Fish in the Sea, applies to a person, who has been spurned by the person of the other sex, unless he or she is gay, and then u say the above.


Saturday’s DNA newspaper had a lovely story on the 21<SUP>st</SUP> of March.Recession has made many a person an entrepreneur like me, the difference being I have always been one,out of choice, whereas these guys had no choice, as jobs are just not available to many


London – Lavatory Flush Tanks can now hold Fish too, thanks to a new Type of Fish Tank.The maker, Aquaone, has named it “ The Fish n flush “


The company claims it is safe for both salt water and fresh water Fish.The tank can be used even for small animals like Turtles,or lizards.The tank is transparent and u both can see each other.


I don’t know, if any of us can remove our clothes in the bathroom to do our jobs, with these fishes and turtles staring at us.At least I would feel strange, but if I fell short of fish, or if extra guests come in, I can surely pick out the Fishes from the Flush, and fry and feed the guests, and before Harsha notices it, I can go and buy a few, those 5 bucks one we get here, and put them in the next day.


A few years back , we had been to a sanitary Shop, and I saw photographs of old men and women, and Jesus, and other Gods on white Bathroom Tiles.People bring in photos of their dear and near ones, and these are then transferred on to the tiles.They charge 75/- per tile


I thought this is a new fashion and asked the shopkeeper, that with these pictures on the bathroom walls, how can one have a bath, I mean disrobe in front of your father, grandmother and others, and be comfortable,You would feel their eyes staring at u.


The guy said, stupid, these are meant for the pooja room and not for the bathroom.These are permenant , better than picture frames, and u can pray to them.It is then I realized how old fashioned I am, and out of touch with the realities and fashion today.


And now Fishes to stare at u eh ! A few years back Virgin Airlines had introduced a kamot for men, to stand and do your job , having the shape of a woman’s lips, the lips coloured red .Fashion is sure bizarre to say the least.

THE FISH AND FLUSH ARTICLE IS TO THE RIGHT OF THE PAGE



Why Men want to date Paris Hilton - DNA – 21<SUP>st</SUP> March 09


The newspaper says” Men Prefer Beautiful Bimbos to Intelligent Men “. Paris Hilton is considered a Bimbo, meaning Dumb, so men prefer females like her to date.They can show her off to their friends proudly of the catch they have made.Men don’t like smart women, who can give them a complex.


However,DNA Says, most women would prefer to go for brains, rather than good looks.


The problem with me is, even a Bimbo will not like me, as I am not tall dark or handsome, but a pot bellied middle aged fellow.And a smart woman will also dislike me, for my crass jokes, and lack of education.So I am destined to remain a bachelor, a guy without affairs.How I envy the handsome hunks here, like OJ,Balaji,Veda, Bhiku,Bavalji, and others, and wish they remember me if they have any excess sometimes.


My idea of beauty is a little warped I guess.I find Lata Mangeshkar pretty.Pretty not in the looks department, but graceful and charming, and talented, ( and Rich to boot ).I get put off by a pretty woman, with a gruff manly voice, but get turned on by a charming woman, who may not be any great shakes in the looks department.


But now , Father time had taken its toll on me, and Mother Time is grimancing at my thoughts.Before they sentence me to a hell like Satyam’s Raju, where he cant sleep bcs Fat Rats are moving around, and in dozens, I banish these thoughts and leave the field clear for other young men.


Cheers


KAMAL MAHTANI

 

Dear Devika,

Thanks for being the first to comment.

You mean u cant find an Bimbo in India ? What about that Mira Road lady, who got taken in by the Tantrik ?????
and u find men Dumb ???????

HAHA.Well now i must drink one extra peg today, and do deep retrospection over what u have said, and find out what is what.Big Laugh

thanks and regards

kamal

 

Dear Jaishree, the smell of the bathroom is enough for the fishes to survive u see.HAHA

Yes if gthe guys sitting on the piot sit and admire the fishes, there would be wars in Mumbai everyone wanting to use the loo.So not good for the big cities i guess.Big Laugh

Well see look at Devika's comment, she thinks the dumb are found in men, and we men think the other way around.HAHA

Regards

kamal

 

Dear 999 SP,

HAHA.What a lovely saying.Chalo at least women are smart in many ways.HAHA

And god is smart.Biggest of the kings have fallen to ruins all bcs of a woman, so a wman is powerful what say 999 !!!

Thanks.kamal

 

Dear Pads,

I think u must be a pure Veg like my wife Harsha.I dont blame the veg people, non veg does have a stink, specially fish.And the japs, the less said the better.I once had Jap food and almost puked, they have no masalas, and half cooked fish is worse than vegetarion food.

Yes men dont want smart women, male ego at play here Pads ! HAHA

Thanks.kamal