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First Time, Pain Should Be Expected Or Not?

Discussion in 'Intimacy' started by rosylife, Mar 20, 2019.

  1. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Okay if you are worried so much about pain just self help yourself initially for few days. ( If you understand what I mean) . Then you can have intercourse with your partner.
    But in any case as suggested here getting intimate with your partner is a process and it has to happen step by step.
     
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  2. rosylife

    rosylife Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks for enlightening me Anusha2917. After reading about it for months now I realise it should be done in steps. Till now I thought it should be done all at once. My husband told me all his friends did it at once. So I got scared like how can people do it in one attempt..
     
  3. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    It can be all at once.. But you shouldn't be uncomfortable... And do it just because of the heck of it. .
    Instead of planning with panchagam and all, many ladies' suggestions are
    1) Plan some romantic dinners / outings etc with your partner.
    2) Cook some special meal for him.
    3) Watch a TV series or movie together.
    4) Plan a holiday or getaway .

    Most of all don't worry.

    Basically enjoy each other's company so that the pain and all will not all be a matter for you the worry about.

    When the time is appropriate it will happen eventually .
     
  4. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    No. There is no pain
     
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  5. Amulet

    Amulet IL Hall of Fame

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    One veteran ILite has a thread about "Marriage Lessons Learned in Real Life.." The keyword she has put out in the first post of that thread is Adjustable. Women need to be adjustable, she has said, and many of us have agreed. Good pelvic exercises would also help keep a girl stay just so.
    Do what the husband wants. Give live feedback about what is good, and what is not so good.
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2019
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  6. GlobetrotterG

    GlobetrotterG Silver IL'ite

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    There are 2 parts to the story:
    You : should be excited and kinda wet down there ( Engage in lots of foreplay, ask him to kinda circle your clit fingers or dick, till he finds the way to glide in>
    He : should sustain the erection, till the time he lets himself in​

    If either of you have a problem, you will run into hurdles. It takes a couple of nights or weeks , to perfect this.

    It looks to me that you are getting anxious, and this will in turn stop you from getting excited. So , for few nights don't think of success or failure, just go with the flow.

    Try insertion using a finger, dildo, Cucumber( with a condom on) etc, may be while watching **** etc.
     
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  7. rosylife

    rosylife Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank you all
    Today I went to a gynecologist, saying it’s difficult for me to have IC. She said I still have some hy*** left. Told me no surgical intervention required. As you all know I had a previous affiar before marriage (non sexual). My ex bf sometimes tries to contact me. Shall I ask gynec to give me a hymen intact Certificate to prevent my husband accusing me of not being a virgin after a few years?

    I am scared of my ex spoiling my marriage in future. Do gynecs give such Certificates? Is there any other proof I can keep. My ex has told me several times that he will spoil my life.
     
  8. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    I'm sorry but this post made me laugh out loud. Is this thinking for real? I wonder at times how and why you are putting that stress on your poor mind? What did it do to get such thoughts?
    What on earth is he going to do with the certificate. ? Keep seeing that everytime you have IC. (just in case you finally decide to have in future) .
    OP. I'm not sure if you are for real and such thoughts can be real?
    One side you say you had an affair and worry about it . Other side you want to consummate your marriage and get tips for it and finally do which was not required (like visiting a gyenec, I mean do what feels right for you. After all it's your life we have nothing to say ) . Then you have zillion other things to worry about.
    I have no advice for you but just one take things easy. Stop complicating simple things in life. .
     
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  9. shravs3

    shravs3 Finest Post Winner

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  10. shravs3

    shravs3 Finest Post Winner

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    In one of her threads OP has mentioned about her previous affair before marriage. So I think she is worried about it
     
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