Hi, My dad passed away 2 months back and mom is diagnosed with terminal cancer about 8 months back. As i have written in previous posts, my mom and i are in good ties. I tried to mend it numerous times but failed miserably. For few days it will be fine and then again i will be i will never want to talk to her again. There were so so many days, mostly after college till date(because i remember the situations since then) she has been very rude to me, calling names and yelling and so on. She kept our relationship very minimal. She uses ugly words to yell at me, i started feeling anxious and inwould always think marriage would be a way of escape from torments. She will be good at few times and she will be back being rude within few min or in a day or 2. From her yellings, i understand she dint want me to have in first place, she dint care about me anymore, she is fine even if i die, she wont look after my only kid toddler even if i or h dies, she wants to cut off my ties, i am a waste, i am good for nothing, all i do is lying, dint study at all(i got 199,198 in 2 subjects and 1074 in 12th). Then she will yell back saying how dare u manage alone and the same continues if i am managing my life without communicating to her, it was like i have to do all to the T if i am in talking terms with her or else she will find fault in me and start all yelling. My sister had taken advantage of this whenever possible she keeps igniting my moms disliking over me, she makes sure my mom doesnt believe me no matter how hard i try to explain my mom. My mom prefers to stay close to my sister and her family but she doesnt like to stay with them because she herself knew they wont take care of her properly. I stay little away like 10 min drive. I stayed here because my mom convinced me to stay here saying she will find me a doctor for infertility which i endured for 4 years. I was in different city with my H before. But she dint help is a different story. Her belief was to have both children nearby, and making my sister who lead a normal life with her teenage son and continue her job with lakhs per month. I left my job after mrge because i was desperate moving out of country at that time as i felt it like an escape from the torments. I couldnt tolerate anymore. My dad knew all this but he couldnt help me much further as same applies to him as well. Before dad passing, they were slowly letting me go from their circle as i insisted as i couldnt tolerate my mom pushing me to take her part of taking care of my sisters life at home. I was mentally preparing myself to tske care of my job and kid together all by myself and H, i preferred it over the torments again. Suddenly when my father passed away, this torments again started, calling me names to pull me back to that home, making me like a slave to keep my sister family fine and happy. If i question it, they call me names, i hallucinate or i imagine myself and talks to all our relatives without telling what exactly is happening at our home to ensure they all have bad impression about me. I told them both that i will give all legal rights to my sis and register the same. Yes i want to run away from all these so that i can bring up my kid with whatever money i have. I gave all my gold back to her, all my mom's savings in lakhs( shenhad put me in my name as i dint have tax issues with no income) back to mom including my hard earned money before mrge. And i know i am entitled to give back her money rightfully. Except 2 years back i took a sum from my own savings saved with my salary which was in joint account with me and her. And for the same, i reminded her with proofs as she forgot that it is my savings. She agreed to it then and later on my sis made her convince to ask about it now and then and keeps saying i cheated. I took only after my kid was born and to put in her name for 20 years govt scheme. That was my salary sum. Besides i have spent in lakhs for items before my mrge for our rental home which is still being used by them. My point here is no matter what i spend she says as if nothing i do for her. I spent 20k 4 months back to buy her a suitable cot which she later calla ita nothing. Literally said that. I do not want to stay in that house or communicate to my sister anymore. I know it is very very wrong to leave a mother like that but trust me i tried so many ways to mend this relationship. Either she herself ruins or my sis makes sure of it. Part of my heart keeps thinking about her wanting to love her and be with her but i will not untill she is with my sis. Because even if mom shows a little love towards in any instant, she makes sure my mom hates me in next minute. I resigned my job due to the mental pressure and cry hysterically whenever they call me for some or the other issue to make me pull near them. If i go there i will be ruined my entire life. My h sees everything and he stands by me, my dad would have definitely stood by me. Financially i am ready to give up all. I wanted to vent today because my sis tormented me for about 3 hours questioning on my insurance misunderstandings happened due to her side. My mom wants me to stay here for another 5 years and then asks me to leave wherever i want. This 5 years is for my sis son to finish schooling so they all can go back to US happily. My mom wanta me to stay back till then. I am feeling like i am not a person at all, i am an object being used, not only me my h and kid as well. I feel that i should lock myself and close my eyes tightly so i dont get to hear any drama they make me to torment me again. I never want to come out of that room ever. Not sure what is right or wrong anymore. Not sure what to do.