Discussion in 'Married Life' started by EagerForInfo, Feb 8, 2021.
He paid it
But surely that was because you had an arrangement where you were at home looking after his child? If you had to go to work he would have had to pay childcare or burden the elders looking after your child...or he could have stayed at home and looked after your kid...and you could have gone to work...it wasn’t as if he was paying rent and you were at home partying? Being at home does mean working...if not more...it’s hard work...
I can understand that your marriage is not perfect, but is not completely out of control either. Hang in there.
When you were working & having the luxury of a second income in the family, your H enjoyed that with you. I believe the Hawaiian trip, big TV etc..etc...were for the family & not just for him alone.
Then you stopped working. The family had to run with just one income. So, he worked 2-3 or even 4 jobs to pay for the rent, utilities etc..etc..for a prolonged time which is a lot.
But he too did help his parents, which is okay.
The bad point here is, that your H didn't care for your luxuries & the kid's expenses throughout. Which is not right. Perhaps it may seemed right had he covered your luxuries & kids expenses instead of rent & utility. But it all depends on our perception only.
The point is, he did contribute to the family's expenses while you were not working. But that wasn't adequate; hence you had to use up your credit cards. It happens!
Now that, you are working. Earning again. Meaning, additional income to the house. So, he is obviously starting the luxurious life all over again. Of course with your money.
But it doesn't mean he stoped sharing his money to the family anymore.
I don't see anything wrong in couples sharing expenses. What i see wrong is the way he is approaching it. I'm gong by your original post. You need to sit and have a adult conversation with him. Come up with a plan, put it in writing. See how it goes for a month or so following which you can retrospect.