1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Fil Wants Us To Buy A Property Around 2kms Radius Of His Home

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Archana11, Jun 14, 2018.

  1. Archana11

    Archana11 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    90
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Nakshatra,
    Thanks for responding.
    My FIL lives in his own independent house and has grocery store in the house itself and earns good amount as there is no grocery store nearby. He also gets rent. My husbands elder brother stays in first floor in that building.
     
  2. NeerjaC

    NeerjaC Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    183
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm not sure why it is so important for your FIL to like the property, are there any plans for him to move in with you eventually? I think you and your husband need to have a serious talk about the whole process. Unless FIL is paying for the house, I think his opinion should be secondary. You and your husband need to decide together.
     
    shravs3 likes this.
  3. Archana11

    Archana11 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    90
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    We talk about this daily but no use. Properties which Im looking are far and will develop in future and they are budget friendly. I clearly told property is for future, its for kids. They are very young now, 5 and 2... if we buy a land in a area which is not yet developed now, it will eventually develop in next 15yrs. Area near my FIL is developed and crowded, because of this cost is very high. Im trying to explain my hubby, instead of buying one property with 80L in his area, we better invest those 80L in 3 or 4 propeties. They never understand.
     
    shravs3 likes this.
  4. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,327
    Likes Received:
    1,506
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    OP,Your house plans will never pan out. Your FIL is not angry at you for location of the plot that you bought . He is angry at you becoz you bought it without his choice. You will never buy a house if you dont put your foot down and say this is it and I dont care who else is satisfied becoz this is my choice, I will buy it. Do not involve anybody like your friends or relatives in house search becoz you will only loose your goodwill with them.

    If so many people helped you in house search and yet you cudnt zero in on one means the fault is with you. Meaning you cudnt take charge and say this is it and I will go with this house. Why does your FIL get to make a choice. Its your house, You say these are the things I need, this house meets most of it and we are done. If you wait for your FIL's approval you are never going to get it and you will end up with no home . Just like now. Do you want to continue like this.

    IL's never like sons to become independent. They want husbands to be tied to them in all ways and never voice an independent opinion or do anything independent. You need to get to grips with reality that nothing is happening until you do something.How did you buy the plot. Remember that and go from there for home too. You both are grown people. Why do you need FIL's approval.

    My FIL tried as much as possible until he was alive to discourage husband from any solid investment. Even though hubby lived here in US from 7-8 yrs , it was always buy house in India and never here. Buy house was what construct home over IL's house.Luckily that didn't pan out as we were struggling here with visa issues. But when all those was resolved , FIL had passed and I took charge and told husband book a house as rents are going up. He threw a fit and opposed. But I didn't budge and now its been more than 5 yrs we are here. Now too IL's have a vague hint but we didn't tell about the house.If we did they wud throw a huge fit and say how cud we do it. Whose loss wud it be. Ours definitely.

    Think about all this and then decide. Good Luck.
     
    Sunshine04 likes this.
  5. NeerjaC

    NeerjaC Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    183
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    I think you and your husband need to have a serious talk then. Why is it so important for him to have your FIL's approval for a house that you are buying for your children. I would keep at it with your husband to allow you to choose the location and house and not involve anyone else.
     
    shravs3 likes this.
  6. mangaii

    mangaii Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,177
    Likes Received:
    1,419
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    call me old school I will never buy a property without approval of either set of parents assuming they live closer. @Archana11 you had your way in buying a plot. I think it is better to give control to your FIL this time. Considering the amount you are planning to invest a trip to the location is a better idea. Life is not all about profit and loss. Sometimes we need to consider the feelings of our near ones. Buying a house without dad's approval is a big no-no unless the relationship is strained. Hope you make the right decision.
     
    mimi77 and ragzz like this.
  7. Charu1984

    Charu1984 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    3
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Check the property and make your own decision.
     

Share This Page