Fil Tries To Attack Me

Wow Op, that's such a verbally abusive Fil you put with up with till now! Applaud you on the change, high time you did that! If your Dh let you go through all this for years, then you shd be divorcing him & not him you!! Anyways , that is woulda, coulda,shoulda.. You shd tell Dh that it is not advisable that you stay with Fil because he just had a heart attack & his blood boils just by your presence, not because you don't want to be with him..also,tell him what if he actually chases you again with a knife? Does he want his father in jail?(not that you would be harmed!) .. it's sad & unbelievable how women have to play it this way to convince husbands instead of for wife's benefit!!

 

Please take a break from the IL and husband maybe, I assume you have parental support. This is beyond ridiculous . Under no circumstances, go back and stay with the IL's. What's to say that the FIL won't try to attack you again ?

 

Don't go back to that house. Stay with your parents or rent a place and live there. Call your husband's bluff.

 

This was wrong.
But otherwise everything you did is correct

 

Since your DH has given you a option of staying in your parents house or renting out, I don't see any reason for you to go back and stay in a place where your life is at a threat.
I think you need to think more about yourself and your son at this point of time. You can rent out a place near your parents house, so your DS gets the affection of the other family members. What a family needs is quality time than quantity time. .Even if your DH spends little time, it's fine as long as he is happy and affectionate towards the lil one rather than spending hours together in an abusive environment.

About holiday, I think ur family has gone through lot of trauma... so give everyone a bit of time so things come back to normal. Definitely, you need a break after going through all this so plan small little things with ur son and enjoy. Don't expect ur DH to be a part of it..

AKRITII

 

I think your dh is overwhelmed, thus the reaction n divorce talks. No matter how bad the parents are, a kid is still expected to be there for them. Since your dh is already very attached, you can't change it now. So it's better if you give him some breather and let him focus on his dads health n recovery, first.

Do not ever go back to that house. What will you do if you n your fil are alone in the house without mil or dh n he tries to attack you with a knife? Who will stop him n protect you?

What if he gets another heart attack while attacking you? You will be blamed for it.

Naari's point of stating that your presence may cause your fil more harm due to his health issue is a good point that you can use.

Rent a house right next to your in laws house because your dh would anyway be forced to see them everyday. If you are atleast close by, his commute reduces n that time can be spent with you.

Disgust look about the holidays, For you, you just want to spend time as a family. But for him, 'his beloved fathers life is at stake and you are talking about fun vacation. Do you really not have a heart?' How would you feel about a vacation if your mom or dad were in that situation? Good or bad, they are still his parents, nothing changes that.

You taking your stand is always a good thing.

For now, focus on your son Only. Give your dh some break to sort out his parents health n house. Support him from your rented or parents house. You don't have to see your in laws for now.

 

Op,Your FIL is dangerous and can hurt you or your baby.If he came to you with a knife, he has crossed all barriers. Use this incident as a free pass and run. If he didn't do something to you he has the capability of hurting you physically in the process atleast. If he does it to you, he can harm your kid too. You cant excuse such behavior once something happens. What if you had kept your room door open.

Your husband just wants to push everything under the rug and say its fine. The fact is his dad can mean harm. For him it may not mean anything , what happens if something happened to you when he is not there.Seeing him working long hrs I think you are left to your own devices the entire day. What happens if you are alone.

Do not say you will go back. If hubby has to shuttle b/n houses so be it. But atleast you are safer in your own house. Stay with your parents and tell hubby you will not come to IL's. Visiting him in hospital is fine. But just visit . No staying. Don't commit to anything. Tell hubby you don't feel safe and you don't want to live with in laws.Cut to the point.

Don't come into FIL apologizing. Its the oldest trick in the book. The apology lasts until you go back. After that its back to their old behavior. Do not come into IL's must have realized , they are old, cant manage all those things becoz IL's must have realized that fact too not only you.Good Luck.
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op, live far away from your in laws.

 

Never go back to live in your in-laws' house. Visiting is fine if you want to. Timing of your question regarding vacation was wrong. Tell your husband to forget that you asked and take care of fil for now. When he becomes healthy you both can decide.
Take a house close to in-laws or office for rent so that travel time can be reduced.