1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Fight with dh regarding calls to parents!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Pontu, May 3, 2010.

  1. ars

    ars Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,599
    Likes Received:
    747
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    All have given you good advice.
    What makes your H think that he is better parent than yours. Only time will tell. Remember what goes around comes around.
    Next time when he asks you to call your parents to ask for help say "NO"
    You should continue calling your parents. Remember you are setting an example to your daughters. Kids learn more from your action than from your words.
     
  2. sreesai

    sreesai Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    155
    Likes Received:
    7
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Pontu, I had the same problem, but I did not stop calling my parents. Just like others suggested, you need not give him any explanations for calling your parents.
    My husband used to question me about my calls to my parents and I was offended by that, I used to fight with him and I used to cry and this used to affect my health.These days I don't give him any explanations or question him, I just stay calm and call my parents. I am not bothered if he likes it or not. I want to talk to them so I talk. I have never forced him to talk to my parents and will never do it also.

    Even if he questions you regarding the call, don't reply back and stay calm (I had a tough time doing it, but it is not impossible.) I gave him this treatment for almost a week, now he does not question me and I at times call my parents when he is around.
     
  3. Pontu

    Pontu New IL'ite

    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you all for ur nice suggestions! Yes I will definitely continue calling my parents if he likes it or not. It is my right and i will not let anyone stop me from doing so.
    FoundLove-I am impressed! you indeed have a sharp memory. No, my bro hasn`t married his girl friend yet. I dont really know his intentions as he has stopped talking abt her to us..i guess the girl`s parents are also against it...will update abt it in another post. Thanks for asking though!
     
  4. psych

    psych Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    590
    Likes Received:
    190
    Trophy Points:
    108
    Gender:
    Female
    you should be able to talk to your parents. since hes not objecting to any other calls so its not money. have you asked him why he dislikes them? does he talk to them as well? indian guys are weird
     
  5. divs

    divs New IL'ite

    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    There was a recent thread in this forum about ignoring criticisms - How does one develop a thicker skin (in relationships)?

    I think in your case, you need to just develop a deaf ear to whatever your husband says. As others have rightly mentioned, its your right to call your parents as and when you choose. If you find your husband's reaction too irritating, then don't call them when he is around. Whatever you do, please don't give in to this demand of his.
     
  6. Cool1

    Cool1 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi,
    You know My husband does not like one of my sisters. He happened to read my personal mail in which we both had discussed our issues.He asked me to break all my ties with her. Well I cried for few days but never stopped calling my sister.She is in US now..
    When he finds out then he gets angry but I hardly care. Maybe one day he will realise that you cannot simply cutoff a blood relation just coz they are angry.Then we should ask them to leave their entire family.
    Well coming to the point, I have told him once that its difficult. I will speak to her and if we come across in a wedding ofcourse we will be together. If my bro gets married then also its obvious choice.He can pick not to join me. I can cover up for him. Else no I am not going to stop talking to my sis.If he forces then maybe not in front but behind him.Its been 3 months to this issue and I have explained only once.
    I really didnt want to keep explaining again and again the same thing...
    Maybe with time he will change or he may not but I dont care. Life is short and not good enough to complicate life. They are your parents and You WILL talk to them.No permission required. Well one of my SIL is still unmarried and though I done want wrong for anyone but still...what goes around comes around also ;-)
     
  7. Foundlove

    Foundlove Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    805
    Likes Received:
    352
    Trophy Points:
    138
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Pontu,
    Hey we are sisters.We remember each others issues right..Don't worry you will hear good news from your brother. Continue your calls to your parents.

    Dear Cool,
    Sorry to hear your troubles. My ex did something similar to what your DH did. I told him very clearly at that time reading personal emails is like peeking at someone changing...so never do it.
    He had also asked me to cut off ties with my sis...I recounted all that was wrong with his family and told him I will stop if he stops talking to his parents.

    Having said that...he is not my ex just because of that 1 reason but many of them. Don't give up on your family.

    FL
     
  8. Cool1

    Cool1 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    159
    Likes Received:
    4
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks FoundLove..
    Sure I wont leave my sis.. Let time be the guru:)
     

Share This Page