Festivals Becoming Stressors Not Celebrations!

People who get used to a dil slaving in the house while they sit and enjoy life will not change.

Just let one Diwali bomb.
Get outside help to clean the house.
Get mithai from outside. Make one at home...something like besan laddoos. Make the mixture and hand over to in laws to make laddoos.

Wth ! Your in laws can't even take over pooja preparation .

Select your silk saree and enjoy this diwali.
Don't try to please others. Just have a blast with your kid.Let the change happen this diwali.
If people object...tell them it is your diwali too and you want to enjoy too.

Let this diwali be the one you enjoy with your kid.


Seriously....your husband gets to live in US in a joint family . He should be worshipping you every diwali.

Some men don't get how lucky they are. They don't value the one person who is enabling the life he has.

 

Op....do people ask you to do so much ( just read your thread on time management).....or do you do all this on your own initiative .
What happens if you don't do it all?
What will happen if you do not do deep cleaning because you don't have help?
Just follow your regular routine and hang the decorations . Will someone object?

Go out and get some mithai from the shop.
Will people object ?

Do people ask for elaborate pooja preparations and big pooja ....or is that what you think should be done ?

 

Make one diwali bomb ?! Hahahaha...
Now that we are indeed brainstorming for ideas to straighten out things in the OP household, how about....

If it is extremely stressful, the OP can threaten to convert. Become a 7th day adventist, and subject live-in in-laws (can that phrase meld into live-in-laws ?) to some new education for salvation.

 

Haha this is so true. Tell MIL it costs $12.00 / hour for the hired help to cut bhindi’s. Also add that she is very slow ( cuts @ 1 bhindi/ minute ) . If you want FIL to pitch in, also add that the hired help does not take a bath in the morning.

 

There is no point celebrating festivals if one does not enjoy them. For me most festivals bring back memories of my childhood and time in India. I try to recreate that for my kids here.
Even god must be wondering what is the point of a pooja when the human being is tired and stressed out. There are times where I have been busy and tired , have had no time to make Prasad. I do not feel any guilt picking a banana from the fruit basket and setting it next to god as prasad. I am sure god will understand and is not judging me ( I hope).
Do as much as you can handle without feeling the stress.

 

From your posts in other time management sections some how I felt that it is you taking over so much of burden by trying to do all by yourself.

May be you need to learn to do less.

Stop by cleaning before festivals, you house must be clean already by what daily cleaning , what is the need for extra cleaning. Why make sweets ask husband to buy from indian shop. If not , Easiest sweet to make is seviyan payasam. Stick to that.

I used to feel it is a big chore to clean up all gods photos and do the decorations when I was young so I have only few small idols or photos now which makes it easy and quick to clean . There is not much scope to reduce your work there because you puja place is already set. Ask your husband to help or do bare minimum.

Start by making one less dish in the festival day and see how it goes.

 

How much ever passionate you are do you know how alone you feel when you do these things on your own without involvement from family members ? Don’t you think the responsibilities have to be shared across the members of the family ?

 

Festival periods are supposed to bring the family together, n not burden one person. So the first n obvious choice is to put it across n convince all to come together, in the name of festival spirit. But you already rejected this option.

Next, reduce work - do only what’s important, prioritise it.

Outsource - buy whatever you can instead of you making

Don’t over do

You too sit n enjoy, if it seems tough, schedule it n force yourself.

Most importantly, hire help. Atleast a temporary one for jus a few hours.

 

Who said they should not help?
But - She is the one who wrote: "besides getting rest of the family to pitch in - which is just not going to happen in my case"
So sorry but you are barking down the wrong tree, I was writing based on what she had mentioned. I am not the one who is saying "besides getting rest of the family to pitch in".

 

Can someone point me to the time management thread. Thanks