Fertility Clinics - Didnt Give Hope

Discussion in 'Fertility & Trying to Conceive' started by needawayout, Sep 19, 2022.

  1. needawayout

    needawayout Silver IL'ite

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    So I have been fertility clinic hunting to take options for me. I am 42f (79 Dec born).Have been trying to conceive (1st time)
    H has erection issues too and sex has not been really great. So started clinic hopping.
    Today was a clinic and have been crushed ever since I came back. My AMH is apparently expected for my age. She directly said that at my age, even ivf wont work. I should try 1 or 2 IUI cycles. If i get lucky then great. Otherwise go straight for donor eggs. NO point of IVf for you.
    So here I am . back home. defeated. tears drying up now.
    I just want to leave everything and go somewhere up the hills and eat cry sleep repeat. Life sucks
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2022
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  2. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Ah! Tough situation. Whoever said that not sure what exactly they mean by that. If IUI can work why not IVF? Chances of pregnancy are high in IVF. Why would she say otherwise?

    I would go for a second and third opinion in this case. I know age is not your best friend right now but then definitely a second and third opinion should widen your chances..
     
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  3. Tryinghard2013

    Tryinghard2013 Silver IL'ite

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    Please
    Don’t lose hope. Like earlier poster said, please try IVF asap. It’s not like you cannot conceive in your 40s. In the west, so many people conceive easily in similar ages. Go for IVF. It will narrow down all the issues and will give u the best possible chance. It’s not too late.
     
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  4. needawayout

    needawayout Silver IL'ite

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    thank you! will go to other clinics tomorrow too.
     
  5. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Get more opinions.
    It’s not easy to conceive even with IVF in your 40s but it’s also not impossible. Some clinics are more skilled than others, so try to search for more.
     
  6. Sweety82

    Sweety82 Gold IL'ite

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    Can you try ayurveda?
     
  7. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry to hear that. Try not to take it so personally. Somehow it sounds to me more like she’s giving the usual cya reasons so you don’t get your hopes up. It is a fact that these processes are less successful as the maternal age increases. Maybe that’s all she was trying to make clear at the very outset. Many of these clinics have bad experiences with people turning nasty or threatening litigation when the procedures don’t work out. I felt that she’s trying to explain that success is not guaranteed. Can’t blame her. Lots of people feel they are entitled to results just t because they paid out the big bucks regardless of age, viability and other factors. Maybe she was trying to guard against you getting your hopes up unnecessarily.

    That said success varies from person to person as you well know. Maybe she wants you to understand the downsides before giving it a try. I would not give up just for this. If you had a good vibe with her otherwise and feel she’s trustworthy and the clinic has a good reputation, then go back and say you understand all that and still want to give it a try. Or keep clinic shopping till you find some doc/ clinic you click with. All the clinics are going to first explain the downsides to you. Failure is a real possibility plus you will be spending big bucks for the procedures which may or may not ‘take’. So in a way they are required to do this.

    So hang in there! Sending you lots of baby dust!
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2022
  8. drdiva

    drdiva Silver IL'ite

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    At 40 ..Conceiving is not that big an issue..as is miscarriages and genetic disorders. Having a healthy baby should b your goal. You can try with ivf or iui ....but if it fails try donor eggs..its better than adoption. And you should consider the time that is being wasted due to indecision..as once you conceive you should b available to your baby at least till his/ her 30s. Plz dont loose your heart. I gave my opinion..i am sorry if i said something hurtful as i know this is a very sensitive issue.
     

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