felt insulted

Hi Paru

I haev the same problem to my mil and fil always tell their son everything and with me they just keep it to hi and bye...at first i used to get bothered by it but now i just dont care...i live my own life and do what i want and when they call i go and give my son a bath or feed him so i dont notice it too much...they dont tell me or involve me in anything...if there is a wedding or funeral they tell their son .....
People like this never change...so now i put my foot down and do things my way and i go when i want because at the end of the day if they dont wnat to involve me then why should i involve myself and be ignored....his sisters do the same aswell so nothing new for me....
You just have to get on with ur own things and dont worry about petty minded people like that....
good luck

 

Hi...After reading your post i can only say that 'Join The Club'...well you are not alone...i too face the same problem...Both my FIL n MIL dont enquire abt me...(yes they dont even ask how i am doing if my husband calls them).What i can make out is that they expect me to first ask abt them or start the conversation..i think that they want to feel more important....n its okie with me..i infact take it very lightly these days...after all they are old people...they are our Seniors(remember college days...just joking). and my MIL's fav topic of discussion is how my SIL is doing. She keeps discussing my SIL's problems with him.so naturally i feel like an outsider...but whats the solution....in my case i keep on doing what i think is right n sometimes if i am feeling too frustrated i wont come on the phone itself...do let me know how you are handling all these Ego issues...

 

Hi Paru,
Thought of sharing this with you....that there is no end in ego tussles..especially between women...no one is ever willing to give up...so its better not to escalate it...act n react normally as far as you can...We are actually used to getting pampered by our parents n expect the same(if not same then at least somewhere near to it) from our in-laws...but not everyone is so lucky...remember we are seen as individuals by our in-laws n not as little daughters who need constant attention...only our parents can give us that importance...but dont have any bitter feelings against them...after all every person is free to behave in a certain way...Be proactive (if possible)

 

my in-laws too dont talk to me...they talk only with my husband...initially i used to take the phoen from him and talk to them but only thing they talk to me is hi and bye...and with my husband esp my mil talks everything even the women stuff like for example, your aunty wanted me to buy dress for her so i went shopping n all that non-sense. Couldnt she discuss that with me; i dont get it :spin. Only thing she talks to me is about my sil and how much difficult time they are having with two kids and all that stuff...i get so irritated with all that bonk. So finially i stopped talking and they dont ask their son about me nor they ask him to ask me to come on phone. So if they dont care I also dont want to care about them. At least I'm happy not talking to them. Nowadays only once in a while i talk to them that too just hi and bye.
-priya

 

way to go girl !!!!!

Thats the way to not loose ur self respect and make them understand that you are also a person with feelings!!!

 

Dear Paru,

No need to take it so personally. I experience similar problem. My in-laws call my husband reguarly and they speak only to him. They have my mobile number and even the house fone number but they insist on calling only him on his mobile. if hes bz and cant pick it up, they dont bother calling on my mobile or the house fone.

Its been like this for 4 years now. Initially, like you, i used to get irritated and argue with my husband over it but i have stopped gradually.
I realise its easier for me this way - i get to talk to them whenever i choose to. i dont have to go thru the pretense of talking over useless things with them. I tried to make this negative trait of their into a positive one for me.

So, dont feel insulted but enjoy that u dont have to strain yourself to make small conversations with them. If they are not talking to you, dont bother staying near the fone. i am sure u will have millions of other things to do than to hang around the fone.

all the best,
JJ