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Feelings

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by indianflower, Oct 18, 2007.

  1. indianflower

    indianflower New IL'ite

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    My mind has been disturbed a bit this past week thinking about a topic and how it should be approached. I would appreciate if you can share your opinions.

    Between in-laws, FIL is ok and a good man but MIL has a sharp tongue. She cannot be made happy no matter what(even if God tries to convince her). She has a big fat ego about everything and thinks her feelings are hurt by so and so etc. She never considers that others have feelings too and can be hurt too by her especially DIL.
    She treats DIL like crap and always thinks her daughter is suffering. Her daughter has the greatest ILs she could have asked for and she herself confirms that but ofcourse MIL can find all kinds of fault in those people as well. How should the DIL handle a woman like her. She constantly talks bad about the DIL with family members and they have now a opinon of the DIL even without knowing the truth. Ofcourse DIL comes from a family where such negativeness was unheard of. She feels bad for the MIL but wants to stay away from her since any good she does will not matter to the MIL. How should such woman be tackled? Why do MILs( not all MILs but some) think it is their birth right to talk to and treat DIL badly?
     
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  2. Nivedi

    Nivedi New IL'ite

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    Dear Indianflower,

    It is hard to do but one way is to ignore her tantrums. If a child behaves in a manner that asks for attention-seeking, it is fine. If a sick or terminally-ill person requires attention, then it should be given. But most hale and hearty MIL's are attention-seekers who want to create a wave of sympathy in their favour and cash in on that sympathy factor. And no matter what you do to please them and keep them happy they never will be pleased or happy. There will always be some thing that they are annoyed or unhappy about. Such people fall in the "misery loves company" category. Neither will they be happy nor will they allow others to be.
     
  3. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Indianflower,
    Don't worry, this too will change. These kind of persons are there in the whole wide world.
    I also had the same experience in my earlier days of marriage.
    But what i learnt was
    if the people to whom your mil talks, may very well know your mil's attitude and they either stay away or have deaf-ears to whatever she says. So don't worry and you also keep a deaf ear to that and don't take it into your mind.
    Moreover we cannot satisfy or except everyone to give us a good name. If we do our things in a right way without guilt, it is enough.

    sriniketan
     

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